Very scared

Alexislox · #1 04-10-2013, 04:46 AM

I received the Holy Ghost on dec9 2012
Since then everything has been amazin until I quit praying as much. I Egan to question myself. I quit my job for The Lord and have recently thought about going back and have told many people that I am doing hair again. I am good at it but I know that god doesn't want me to be doing it. I know he has a job for me but I am so desperate. I have an interview with a lady that owns a salon tomorrow.
I smoked pot after being clean for the entire time now on a Friday.. I went to church and repented on Saturday.. On Sunday I felt awesome and then evening service not so much. Monday, today, I smoked pot again and I feel so stupid. I know god is not going to be happy with me. I have ruined my witness to my family and to those that I have been witnessing to in the world. Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to go back and I'm very scared that I have done something irreversable. I am close to giving up completely. My mind is so wrong and I know my heart is so ugly. Please help me..

jen4yeshua · #2 04-10-2013, 06:34 AM

Praying for you! Do you have a person that you can talk to who has been through similar issues? When my husband and I came to church we had a young leader in our church who was very open about his background and didn't judge us, but gave great advice. It really helped us a lot. Throw that stuff out, and stay away from the people who give / sell it to you as much as you can. You need to draw a line in the sand and decide not to go back to it. We used to smoke it years ago, and I know it opened up some doors that should have been kept closed. What is it doing for you? I found it gave me a sense of peace, but it was temporary and I felt worse afterwards. And get into some deep prayer, with help if needed. We need to bear one another's burdens.

jen4yeshua · #3 04-10-2013, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to go back and I'm very scared that I have done something irreversable. I am close to giving up completely. My mind is so wrong and I know my heart is so ugly.

Those thoughts are not lined up with the truth of how God sees you. http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/...s-About-Grace/

Get into the Word

God loves you and He is FOR YOU!!!

jen4yeshua · #4 04-10-2013, 06:39 AM

http://www.godvine.com/bible/category/mercy

Nitehawk013 · #5 04-10-2013, 06:51 AM

Did you truly expect to get the Holy Ghost and not wrestle with anythign again? That isn't reality.

You are new in the Lord, a new child as it were, and children make mistakes. They do wrong. They fail miserably, even when given clear direction. God's will isn't to toss you away and give up, just as we wouldn't do that to our own child who fails. His will is that you keep moving forward, keep praying, ask forgiveness, get up and try again.

jen4yeshua · #6 04-10-2013, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

Did you truly expect to get the Holy Ghost and not wrestle with anythign again? That isn't reality.

You are new in the Lord, a new child as it were, and children make mistakes. They do wrong. They fail miserably, even when given clear direction. God's will isn't to toss you away and give up, just as we wouldn't do that to our own child who fails. His will is that you keep moving forward, keep praying, ask forgiveness, get up and try again.

Cindy · #7 04-10-2013, 08:15 AM

First, why did you stop praying so much? And second, why doesn't God want you to cut hair. How do you know that? Did someone tell you that?

Alexislox · #8 04-10-2013, 08:31 AM

Well I quit praying as much because it was taking a long time to breakthrough and I just felt like god was gonna be mad at me. I was fastin and broken fast and everything went downhill from there. Started taking xanax and smoking cigs just to run away and then finally smoked pot... But I can't even think about god forgiving me for smoking after already doing the same thing three days before and getting awesome repentance. I saw why it was wrong and I didn't wanna do it again. I don't ever wanna do it again. I can't believe I did it a second time. I'm disappointed to the point of disgust.

I know he impressed on me to not do hair. I started gettin convicted about it for about a month and then finally gave it up. But now I can't find a job and I'm really good at hair. But I can't do it because I know he doesn't want it and I don't deep down.

Pliny · #9 04-10-2013, 08:32 AM

Pro 24:16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again:

1Jn 2:1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

Heb 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Originalist · #10 04-10-2013, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexislox

I received the Holy Ghost on dec9 2012
Since then everything has been amazin until I quit praying as much. I Egan to question myself. I quit my job for The Lord and have recently thought about going back and have told many people that I am doing hair again. I am good at it but I know that god doesn't want me to be doing it. I know he has a job for me but I am so desperate. I have an interview with a lady that owns a salon tomorrow.
I smoked pot after being clean for the entire time now on a Friday.. I went to church and repented on Saturday.. On Sunday I felt awesome and then evening service not so much. Monday, today, I smoked pot again and I feel so stupid. I know god is not going to be happy with me. I have ruined my witness to my family and to those that I have been witnessing to in the world. Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to go back and I'm very scared that I have done something irreversable. I am close to giving up completely. My mind is so wrong and I know my heart is so ugly. Please help me..

When you were unregenerate, you drank sin like water and regretted it not. The remorse you feel for your sin now is a sure sign of a changed heart. God disciplines his children. You are his child and he loves you. He has not given up on you nor will he. Don't fall into the trap now of trying to pay for your recent sins through works. God does not want that. He wants you to RUN to him for grace. The same grace that saved you is the same grace that will give you victory over the flesh. We love you and hold you up before God today.