How about these?
KIDS SAY SOME OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS EVEN IN CHURCH
The most natural thing in the world for a child is to believe in God - that He is there, He is personal and He creates and sustains all things. The heavens and earth declare God's glory and our consciences bear Him witness. You actually have to teach a child not to believe in God. And that's exactly what the world does. Paul writes that we suppress the truth in unrighteousness. Yet in their "child-likeness", kids do say and write some of the funniest things. Often they know just enough to put it together with something totally different and then draw some very funny conclusions. Other times they've heard a word but haven't quite grasped its meaning in context. Other times their inquisitive, unfiltered minds do ask about some pretty direct and profound things. All of this can make for some hilarious reading. Here are some actual statements and writings of children as they try to deal with God, the Bible and life:
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy father and mother.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire at night.
When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang the Magna Carta.
Salome was a woman who danced naked in fron t of Harrods
Holy acrimony is another name for marriage.
The Pope lives in a vacuum.
Paraffin is next in order after saraphim.
The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
Iran is the Bible of Moslems.
A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible.
The natives of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
The firs commandment was whn Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
It is sometime difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.
Jesus appeared to two disciples behind locked door as they were walking to Emmaus.
A lie is a sin and an abomination in the sight of God, but a very present help in trouble.
John the Baptist was beheaded with the Axe of the Apostles.
You must love your neighbor even if you hate him.
Jesus stood up in the synagogue at nazareth and read from the Epistle to St. Paul.
Four men came carrying a parable on a bed.
If someone slaps you, turn and let him have another knock and the door shall be opened.
The end of the world will mark a turning point in everyone's life.
All I know about Elijah is that he went for a cruise with a widow.
Q: Write what you know about the Last Supper. A: I was away for that. I had measles.
Thy rod and thy staff come for me.
Q: Who lived in the Garden of Eden? A: The Adamses. Q: Explain the phrase 'the quick and the dead'. A: The quick is the man that got out of the way. Lay not up for yourselves trousers on earth.
Q: What is an unclean spirit? A: A dirty devil.
Jesus cured Peter's mother-in-law, when she was sick of a fever, and Peter swore and went out and wept bitterly.
Q: What is the first and greatest commandment? A: Hang all the law and the prophets.
Once a Sunday School teacher started talking about the story of Jonah and the whale and she asked what the story showed. A boy raised his hand. "I know", he said, "People make whales sick."
Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose but under it were deeply religious feelings.
Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
The people who followed the Lord were call the 12 opossums.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark. Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
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