Living Arrangements

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by ILG

Good grief.

I am waiting for Rhoni to answer.

Rhoni, that was a very leading statement. Are you going to make me eat all my words on this thread??

You probably should have read the WHOLE thread before you jumped in with two feet - lol!

[ILG]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

You probably should have read the WHOLE thread before you jumped in with two feet - lol!

Maybe, but I did read the post where she mentioned a lover. And I didn't take it the way you guys all did. There is no way I can read every post in every thread that I post in. Someone mentioned that she kind of teetered near the edge on definitions after that post. But this is the first post I've seen teetering on the edge. If she wasn't saying that sleeping with someone didn't matter unless you were a virgin, that's kind of what it seemed like. So, Rhoni....let's hear it.

[Emma Bontrager]

If I can figure out how to be a virgin again, I would like to! There is this really cute guy down the road from me. He sure is nicer than my husband.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

I think perhaps the man in a given relationship needs to draw the lines at what he is comfortable with and the woman should not cross these boundaries. This may be a different line in different relationships. I think it is too narrow a statement to say that any woman in any pre-marriage relationship should never allow a man to put his arm around her on a couch watching a movie because he is too sexual and can't take it.

I agree, and I don't recall saying that a man shouldn't put his arm around a woman while watching a movie. Rhoni specifically mentioned "touching", kissing and neck nuzzling. That sounds a little more hands on than "arm around the shoulders."

They are pretty rudimentary with the exception of the fact that I find too much blame placed on women for being a "tease" and not enough responsibility on men to control themselves and draw boundary lines. If women know men are sexual and shouldn't be a "tease", men also know women can be affectionate without meaning to be sexual and don't always intend to "tease". This is also rudimentary knowledge. Perhaps I am looking for a better balanced approach for both men and women. If Rhoni finds herself a guy who wants to sit with his arm around her on a couch before marriage and he thinks he can handle that, that's his business and Rhoni's. I'm not going to over-sexualize that. On the flip-side, for young people and teens, warnings need to be sounded. Don't do what you can't handle.

I generally agree. From a secular point of view, men seem to expect women to sleep with them on the first or second date.

From a Christian point of view, though, the courtesy needs to go in both directions. I'm not blaming women for the bad behavior of men, nor am I going to excuse bad behavior in women just because I am one.

As for young people--"fleeing" youthful lusts is like a great idea. Undeveloped self control, maturity, and good judgment coupled with hormones run amuck can be a deadly combination.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

If I can figure out how to be a virgin again, I would like to! There is this really cute guy down the road from me. He sure is nicer than my husband.

I'm sure if he was interested, he wouldn't care.......

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I agree, and I don't recall saying that a man shouldn't put his arm around a woman while watching a movie. Rhoni specifically mentioned "touching", kissing and neck nuzzling. That sounds a little more hands on than "arm around the shoulders."

Someone let me know when we have "touching" defined in a pre-marital relationship.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I generally agree. From a secular point of view, men seem to expect women to sleep with them on the first or second date.
.

I think arranged marriages might be best. That way, you wouldn't even meet your spouse until briefly before the wedding. NO chance at ANY hanky-panky.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

If I can figure out how to be a virgin again, I would like to! There is this really cute guy down the road from me. He sure is nicer than my husband.

Emma! I'm shocked you would even have these thoughts!

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I'm sure if he was interested, he wouldn't care.......

But, I would have to be married. WAIT!! I AM married!!??? Loophole city, here we come!!

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Someone let me know when we have "touching" defined in a pre-marital relationship.

I already did. I will call it The Pinky Kiss. Once you do that, there is no turning back.