Funeral With $100 Offering Line (HUH??)

[jimmyrrs]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Ghetto? No....I was thinking more along the lines of kissing cousins, possum pie and moonshine.

And just what is wrong with that?

[Sister Alvear]

lol....ha....

[SiblingRevelry]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

I saw an offering taken up once at a funeral...

"Once"...which indicates to me that it should probably be a "rare" occurrence.

[SiblingRevelry]

Originally Posted by StMark

What I HATE is, about once a week, I'll be driving somewhere and they'll be a whole clan of family members with signs begging for money to bury their loved ones, holding great big signs, standing in the middle of the road. That irritates me

I've never seen that. What I have seen (and heard about) are by-donation carwashes (this is Phoenix) to benefit a family after a tragic occurrence. None of these are to get someone buried, but for the benefit of usually children left behind after a parent dies suddenly or something along those lines.

[jimmyrrs]

Originally Posted by SiblingRevelry

"Once"...which indicates to me that it should probably be a "rare" occurrence.

As a funeral director in Arkansas, I can only speak of what I have seen.

We (the funeral home) do not ask people for donations. Things are subject to change with more and more people coming in and wanting big funerals with no money. True we do the best we can for every family that comes to us.
Sometimes we have to write the funeral off. Not all families want something for nothing. Many are happy with anything the funeral home can do for them. Yet, the funeral home has overhead. So it's hard just to give away a funeral. There are very few orgs. that will help, but in these times they are hurting too.
In special cases where an college fund is set up in the name of a deceased person at a bank then we will list it in the obit. Understand that money IS NOT USED to help pay for the funeral.

Other funeral homes have been known to place something along the line of this, (donations may be made in care of (the deceased persons name fund) at banks name and address) at the end of the obit in the newspaper. This money will then help pay for the funeral.

If a minister was to ask for an offering at a service, I would not like it. I understand but I think it should be handled different.

A lot of people think a $10 k life insurance policy is all they need. They think it should bury the person and they should get $7 k back to live on. Not so. If possible a policy three times your yearly pay is nice. Many can not afford that. I understand.

The next best thing is to prepay you funeral. Almost 90% of the cost can be prepaid at today's price. Yes, you have to do your homework, because there are thieves out there.

[George]

Originally Posted by StMark

What I HATE is, about once a week, I'll be driving somewhere and they'll be a whole clan of family members with signs begging for money to bury their loved ones, holding great big signs, standing in the middle of the road. That irritates me

That happens often in my area. They will have posters with giant pictures of the deceased person, they will all have T-Shirts with pics of the deceased, and they will have a car wash or just stand on the side of the road making a ruckus trying to get a hand out. They also set cans with pics of the deceased near cash registers in stores, restaurants, etc. You finally get to a place where you never give to any of them because it happens so much.

[Sam]

sort of on this subject, but maybe not,

What fee or honorarium is customary to give the minister that officiates a funeral?

[steve p]

egue

Originally Posted by PraiseHymn

As a person who has studied mortuary science (and not finished) there is NO reason for any family to stand on the corner to ask for money to bury their loved one. There are funeral homes who specifically cater to the "less fortunate" and collect their monies from government funds out there. Anyone can be buried decently. You might be put in potters field (a paupers grave) and you might have a cloth casket (instead of a shiny metal one) but you will still be given a funeral never the less. Also in every major city, their are mortuary schools that cant wait to take the poors dead love ones and fix the body up (just like when a person is in nursing school). I knew without a shadow of a doubt last night was a SHAM!!!!!!!!! A mega church had no need to take up an offering in front of the family, an open casket and people who did not even bring their wallets into the church (more or less). Then to say to go to the ATM machine or use your credit card in the church bookstore made no sense to me at all. Folks took one look at each other, grabbed their keys and headed for the door TO LEAVE (including me).

I worked many years in the State of Tennessee as a Licensed Funeral Director. To my knowledge, there are no Federal funds available for burial except for $255 Social Security Death Benefit paid ONLY to a surviving spouse. There are no state funds in Tennessee nor are there any local funds available. Many funerals/cremations are done at no charge to the families.

I once asked an African - American colleague why there was such a long time period between death and burial of black people. Laughingly, he said, and I quote.."Son...you have to get the money when the tears are flowing...when the tears dry up...they forget about you!" I once heard a white funeral director say..."Your gona have to cough up the money before we bury your daddy." This could have been one of those situations....who knows.....

[PraiseHymn]

I did some research on this one "women preacher" who is a funeral minister. This is what her site says

Honorarium

Funeral Services (Private Home, Funeral Home, Church, or Graveside): $295

Funeral and Graveside Service: $375

Wake or Memorial Service: $295

These fees reflect travel within a 25 mile radius of Bowie, MD 20720. http://www.startum.com/funerals.htm

Here is a more broad answer I found online:
It is always courteous to pay an honorarium to the clergy. The funeral director will know what is usual in your area, but the prices you quoted sound about average. Then again, in a small-town area, it might be only $50-$75 and as much as $300 in some other places.
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Funerals-...ng-speaker.htm

[PraiseHymn]

Originally Posted by steve p

egue


I worked many years in the State of Tennessee as a Licensed Funeral Director. To my knowledge, there are no Federal funds available for burial except for $255 Social Security Death Benefit paid ONLY to a surviving spouse. There are no state funds in Tennessee nor are there any local funds available. Many funerals/cremations are done at no charge to the families.

I once asked an African - American colleague why there was such a long time period between death and burial of black people. Laughingly, he said, and I quote.."Son...you have to get the money when the tears are flowing...when the tears dry up...they forget about you!" I once heard a white funeral director say..."Your gona have to cough up the money before we bury your daddy." This could have been one of those situations....who knows.....

I beg to differ. Now while it might not be "federal" money ANYONE can have a funeral and there are funds out there to pay for them. I learned this in school most recently 2007. Read this website: http://www.rlc.org.au/factsheets/cre...lexpenses.html

What Happens If Nobody Can Afford To Pay For A Funeral
If you can't afford to pay for a funeral, don't organise it. If you organise the funeral you will have to pay. The police can organise a funeral for someone who has no-one to pay for their funeral. It will be a very simple and cheap funeral and the person will probably be cremated. If the person died in hospital, the NSW Health Department or the hospital in which they died will pay for a basic funeral. Contact the hospital registrar. Usually mourners will be allowed to attend but they will not be able to have much say in how the funeral is organised. These funerals are called destitute funerals.

As for the statment concerning African American Funerals and the lag time (which was a very general statement) it is safe to say that we hold our bodies out because 9 times out of 10 the family has to make travel arrangements to the city of the funeral. Its almost guarenteed with African Americans, if you die tonight (Sunday) your funeral wont be until Friday or Saturday. Why? Families are spread out from North to South, East to West. For instance with my family, half of us live in the south and the other half live up North in NYC. Its always been like that. You'll find most white people live near their family hence the reason why you die today you get a funeral no later than Wednesday. (plus us black folks tend to be so dramatic in wanting multiple days of mourning i.e. wakes, musicals, eatings at the home and church, more viewings and then the final hooray!) How do I know this? I go to about 75 funerals a year.