Music and kids

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

How do regulate the music your teens listen to? What criteria do you use to give your kids guidelines as to what is and is not acceptable? I have a 10 year old and a 14 year old and we have been dealing with what we will and will not allow them to listen to.

You may not allow them to listen to certain things but when you are not around, they are going to listen to what they want to.

My parents were very strict about music. We may not have listened to things we shouldn't have at home around my parents but when they weren't around, we listened to what we wanted to.

I show my 11 year old the lyrics to songs and tell him that is why I prefer that he not listen to this song. I tell him that I know he can listen to whatever he wants to when I am not around but that I hope he will make good choices. It really is a battle! Especially, when all the kids at school listen to what I call garbage. Good luck!

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by deltaguitar

Let them see this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5cWH...eature=related

LOL - I like it!

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

Is this the song you had to say no to?

My son has played a number of parody versions but I don't think I have heard that one

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by MrsMcD

You may not allow them to listen to certain things but when you are not around, they are going to listen to what they want to.

This is true. However that doesn't mean that I will allow them to have it on their Ipods. The Ipod has been great because now instead of saying no to an entire album that may have only one song that is inappropriate, we can download everything but that song. It does give us the chance to say "yes" much more often.

Someone told me once about raising kids, “Say yes as much as possible and when you say no, mean it.”

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

This is true. However that doesn't mean that I will allow them to have it on their Ipods. The Ipod has been great because now instead of saying no to an entire album that may have only one song that is inappropriate, we can download everything but that song. It does give us the chance to say "yes" much more often.

Someone told me once about raising kids, “Say yes as much as possible and when you say no, mean it.”

I understand. I won't let my son download inappropriate songs.

[Monkeyman]

I am not a parent yet I do know everything about parenting by watching parent's mistakes. Basically I would just tell them to stay away from any music containing fiddles, banjos, make sure the musician had all of his/her teeth, and if they start having the urge to date their cousin, burn the CD!!!!
*This is sound advice*

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

How do regulate the music your teens listen to? What criteria do you use to give your kids guidelines as to what is and is not acceptable? I have a 10 year old and a 14 year old and we have been dealing with what we will and will not allow them to listen to.

Our rules are mostly based on content, and what kind of role models the artists are. Our kids aren't allowed to listen to anything with obscene language or with lyrics that promote immorality or violence. However, we don't completely forbid secular music, and we do try to expose them to as many different styles of music as possible. (From the artistic perspective.)

My 10 year old recently brought home a CD her friend had made for her. It was a pop artist, and when we heard it, we knew the lyrics weren't acceptable, and suspected the artist wasn't either. But we didn't just take the CD away. My husband got online and pulled up song lyrics and pictures of the scantily clad artist, and had my daughter read the lyrics aloud (as much as she could), and address the inappropriate photos. He asked her some questions about the lyrics and the immodest poses, and she had a "yuck" reaction without us really saying anything at all. More importantly, though, that same weekend he took her to the local Christian bookstore and let her choose whatever CD she wanted to replace it. She chose a kids' Christian-pop group called Pure NRG and has practically memorized all the songs.

Last month, he took both of our daughters to a local Christian concert--chocked full of the kind of music he can't stand (LOL), but they loved it! Artists included: Barlow Girls, Pure NRG, Mendisa, Skillet, MercyMe & others. (My husband is into alison krauss and banjos, to explain the extent of his sacrifice! )

My point is: I do think you should address music, because music is powerful. However, I think it should be based on the content of the music, and on the artist. It's equally important to give your child healthy alternatives to unwholesome music. If they like rock, expose them to good Christian rock groups (I like the Newsboys, MercyMe). If they like country, buy them something by the Isaacs. And so on.

And some music falls into neutral category - patriotic music, classical, jazz, instrumental....

In my opinion, guided choices are the best way to go.

By the way, I don't think the artist is as much of a problem for adults, but children tend to make role models out of great singers and musicians, so the artists matter a little more when choosing music for your kids.

That's my .75 cents.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by MrsMcD

You may not allow them to listen to certain things but when you are not around, they are going to listen to what they want to.

This isn't really true, Mrs., if you give them good alternatives that they have chosen, and they really enjoy. Of course, if they like rock, and you go buy them a bunch of Southern Gospel CD's--well, I'd rebel, too.

My parents were very strict about music. We may not have listened to things we shouldn't have at home around my parents but when they weren't around, we listened to what we wanted to.

Then don't be as strict. You have to be reasonable about it. Children respond well when you're honest and fair.

I show my 11 year old the lyrics to songs and tell him that is why I prefer that he not listen to this song. I tell him that I know he can listen to whatever he wants to when I am not around but that I hope he will make good choices. It really is a battle! Especially, when all the kids at school listen to what I call garbage. Good luck!

I think you're skipping an important step, though--when you tell him he can't listen to something, allow him to replace it with something Christian or wholesome of his choosing. If he picks it out, he'll be more likely to listen to it.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

I have had to say "no" to one of the recent fad songs "soldja boy" based on the lyrics not the music itself.

Good decision!

[AmazingGrace]

I guess we are one of the odd families because I dont have to tell my kids what they can and cannot listen to. But 95% of what they listen to is Christian music and they dont listen to other stuff behind my back... They even tell their friends to turn off certain music when they are around or they leave.. I have even been called to come pick my son up at chilis one night because the guy he rode with was listening to some pretty rough stuff and his exact words were "Mom it wasnt right in my spirit and it made me SICK to listen to it" and he refused to turn it off so I refused to ride further.