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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
"You will be hated for my sake-Just remember that it should be for MY sake and not YOURS-
Do NOT act in such a way as to be offensive, and then blame it on me"
Mine would have to worry about more than a broken jaw.
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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
In the state of Ohio, as in most other states, clergy (now including Catholic Priests) are Mandatory Reporters which means that they are required to report any physical/sexual and in some cases emotional abuse to the authorities within a certain amount of time. (it does not have to be a written report and details of the abuse are not necessary.) However, in Ohio (one should check their own state statutes) pastors are exempt from testifying (at their discretion) any details given to them of the abuse due to confidentiality protection.
I had to deal with this while pastoring in OH, and have adopted the same/similar line as NOW.....if you tell/confess to me ___________________ I am required to report it to the authorities.
Bishop, thank you for posting this. It is no secret that I am from the state of OHio So this is helpful information. Especially the statement regarding the fact that pastors are exempt from being forced to testify. In this case, the pastor actually did not report the abuse because the authorities already knew about it and were on their way to make an arrest. During that time, before the authorities arrived, this person "spilled their guts" to the pastor. The pastor then wrote a police report and put all those details in the report he wrote. The family is having a hard time with this because, while they believe their son deserves prison and expect that he will spend the rest of his life there - they do not want to have to hear all the gorrie details. But the prosecutor has already let them know that his case is based almost completely on the pastor's report and so it will be read in court. I told them that I believed that the pastor was mandated just like a teacher or doctor would be to report the abuse, but I wanted to be sure that I was speaking correctly. I really appreciate everyone's input.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pro31:28
I could be mistaken, but I believe that there was a situation very similar to this in the UPC in CA in the early 90's. I could be wrong (I often am) but this sounds so familiar.
Pro, I promise you this is not referring to any situation in the UPC anywhere at any time
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Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of a battle ! ! ! !
While I understand your emotions about the "burden" it places on the wife, but if the wife finds out later down the road that you have been dishonest by now revealing your sins against her (and against God), how does that sound? We are called to transparency and honesty. As couples especially, we are called to lift each other up. The husband sinned against God and against his wife. His feeling of his secret remaining unknown, in my opinion, only produces more sin. It's rarely a one-time gig. The confession is biblical, in the context of Mt 18, reflective of God's light that we walk in and is the right thing to do.
Exactly. If my husband had a one-night stand and confessed it, we could probably recover and move past it (hopefully). But, if he did, didn't tell me, and then I found out ten years later... that would be very difficult to get past. I'd feel that the entire past ten years had been built on dishonesty and a lie. I'd have a hard time ever trusting him again. And these things have a way of coming out.
I guess to put this in milder terms, it's kind of like that saint at church who blindsides the pastor with: "I've been really upset and mad at you, and I'm sorry." And the pastor had no idea--but now he does, and the non-issue becomes an issue. LOL!!! Why couldn't the saint just ask God to help them put aside their feelings and move past it? I know that sometimes we do have to discuss it, but really...does every little thing need to be confessed and discussed? Being gracious to one another also includes overlooking folks' faults and failures without them having to ask for it. (Or if you notice something, offer support and encouragement without having to know all the details.)
Being mad at someone, and them not knowing about it, doesn't harm that person. Dishonoring your marriage vows does harm your marriage, even if the other party doesn't know about it yet.
If you struggle with anger against someone (like your pastor example) and you can't seem to get over it, you might need to confess it to be able to get past it, but you could confess it to someone other than the person you're angry with so that you don't end up hurting their feelings in addition to being angry with them!
So this is helpful information. Especially the statement regarding the fact that pastors are exempt from being forced to testify. In this case, the pastor actually did not report the abuse because the authorities already knew about it and were on their way to make an arrest. During that time, before the authorities arrived, this person "spilled their guts" to the pastor. The pastor then wrote a police report and put all those details in the report he wrote. The family is having a hard time with this because, while they believe their son deserves prison and expect that he will spend the rest of his life there - they do not want to have to hear all the gorrie details. But the prosecutor has already let them know that his case is based almost completely on the pastor's report and so it will be read in court. I told them that I believed that the pastor was mandated just like a teacher or doctor would be to report the abuse, but I wanted to be sure that I was speaking correctly. I really appreciate everyone's input.
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