How close should a pastor get to the members?

[marthaolivia]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I'm sure she knows that, Mizpeh.

I have a very close friend that called me yesterday to express some of her personal woes. It's very hard for me to point out what she is doing wrong. For one thing, she is a grown woman and should know better. Second, we are close friends and she would be offended if I told her exactly what I really thought. I'd really like to, point blank, tell her, but she wouldn't listen anyway.

The best thing, which I have always done, is leave that up to the preaching. I don't talk to my pastor about a whole lot of things. I need him to be sensitive in prayer and deliver through the preached word.

That has always worked for me. Lots of change and answers without everyone knowing everything you are going through.

This is so true.

[ManOfWord]

Originally Posted by Innocuous

Perhaps sometimes this is what contributes and/or produces the bunker mentality of some pastors and their families. Sometimes they come into and entrenched culture as the new pastor and the only way to survive is to retreat.

The ONLY way to survive is to SERVE your way out of the situation. Remember, the towel is mightier than the sword. People way underestimate the power of serving. Pastors are here to serve the people...not the other way around. I tell my staff this all the time. We are here for them!

Diane and I have never even talked about boundaries that we need to have for our family. No one takes advantage of it. I think it all comes down to one's paradigm of leadership. It is quite revealing that Jesus didn't instruct the ministry to be careful. He wasn't careful. He didn't even warn about it.

He was accused of being a wine bibber and glutton and a friend of sinners. God forbid that someone would say that I was too close to the sheep! (tic)

I think this idea primarily a concoction of the fearful and insecure men. Like I said, one cannot shepherd the flock from outside the fence!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

The ONLY way to survive is to SERVE your way out of the situation. Remember, the towel is mightier than the sword. People way underestimate the power of serving. Pastors are here to serve the people...not the other way around. I tell my staff this all the time. We are here for them!

Diane and I have never even talked about boundaries that we need to have for our family. No one takes advantage of it. I think it all comes down to one's paradigm of leadership. It is quite revealing that Jesus didn't instruct the ministry to be careful. He wasn't careful. He didn't even warn about it.

He was accused of being a wine bibber and glutton and a friend of sinners. God forbid that someone would say that I was too close to the sheep! (tic)

I think this idea primarily a concoction of the fearful and insecure men. Like I said, one cannot shepherd the flock from outside the fence!

I guess I rather feel this way too-

In affect, if the ministry sets it self as separate or needing a barrier between them and the people--then it causes a duel personality. I am one way with church people and other way when I am not.

I for one am terrible at this, I have my own personal code word for that-I call it being a professional pentecostal--not that I am applying that to anyone, just myself and I can't do it.

The only thing that I can say that I do differently now, than perhaps 6 or 7 yrs ago. Is learning to keep my mouth shut about my feelings on things, some things are just better kept to myself and not blurted out there to misunderstood. I talk to my husband about it and I think thats the best way to do it.--I am not perfect, I fail but I am definitely not better than the folks we pastor.

[Bullwinkle]

Originally Posted by My Own Eyes

I only read through the first two pages, but I find it interesting that no one mentioned the example Jesus set for us.

I mean, he was reachable, he was accessable. He was the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He didn't hold himself above everyone else...and he was GOD.

To be fair, this is a touchy subject for me as I have always had an issue with the whole concept of a spiritual hierarchy in the church. I am a egalitarian to the core.

You sure about this? Jesus was often noted as being separated from the crowds and being with the 12, as a matter of fact he was often with 3. So much for the egalitarian Jesus.
Whether folks will admit it or not, there are common, shared experiences that are unique to those serving in ministry. Camp meetings etc. are wonderful times for pastors and ministers to fellowship.
Elder Epley put it very well when he made the comment about being friends with everybody and buddys with none. People don't take correction well from their buddies.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Bullwinkle

You sure about this? Jesus was often noted as being separated from the crowds and being with the 12, as a matter of fact he was often with 3. So much for the egalitarian Jesus.
Whether folks will admit it or not, there are common, shared experiences that are unique to those serving in ministry. Camp meetings etc. are wonderful times for pastors and ministers to fellowship.
Elder Epley put it very well when he made the comment about being friends with everybody and buddys with none. People don't take correction well from their buddies.

Maybe some Pastors don't know their role. You can love people to God but the correction most talk about is; control, manipulation, and men on a power trip.

[Innocuous]

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

The ONLY way to survive is to SERVE your way out of the situation. Remember, the towel is mightier than the sword. People way underestimate the power of serving. Pastors are here to serve the people...not the other way around. I tell my staff this all the time. We are here for them!

Diane and I have never even talked about boundaries that we need to have for our family. No one takes advantage of it. I think it all comes down to one's paradigm of leadership. It is quite revealing that Jesus didn't instruct the ministry to be careful. He wasn't careful. He didn't even warn about it.

He was accused of being a wine bibber and glutton and a friend of sinners. God forbid that someone would say that I was too close to the sheep! (tic)

I think this idea primarily a concoction of the fearful and insecure men. Like I said, one cannot shepherd the flock from outside the fence!

I completely agree with you 100%. I was just saying that it's the attacks from people that tend to make pastors at least want to retreat into a shell as a defense mechanism. I'm not saying they should do that, they shouldn't. But sometimes they do and you can understand the emotion of that decision for sure. It takes a tough and disciplined person to pastor in that sort of situation and it requires an extra measure of grace from God. I've seen it happen both ways. Your way is Christ's way, and I agree with it.

[Sister Alvear]

Jesus did not have a lot of private time but several times he called his disciples away to go to the mountains to pray...Maybe we could say to rest and have some quite time however different from the mindset today He chose a simple lifestyle.
We never find him teaching his disciples that they cannot mix with the common people. I know one missionary that actually teaches his preachers they are a special class...
Might make him and his preachers feel important but it is far from the style of the Bible.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

Jesus did not have a lot of private time but several times he called his disciples away to go to the mountains to pray...Maybe we could say to rest and have some quite time however different from the mindset today He chose a simple lifestyle.
We never find him teaching his disciples that they cannot mix with the common people. I know one missionary that actually teaches his preachers they are a special class...
Might make him and his preachers feel important but it is far from the style of the Bible.

AMEN!

[Amos]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Maybe some Pastors don't know their role. You can love people to God but the correction most talk about is; control, manipulation, and men on a power trip.

This seems to be a very judgmental post.

Are you an ultra-conservative?

[Innocuous]

Originally Posted by Bullwinkle

You sure about this? Jesus was often noted as being separated from the crowds and being with the 12, as a matter of fact he was often with 3. So much for the egalitarian Jesus.
Whether folks will admit it or not, there are common, shared experiences that are unique to those serving in ministry. Camp meetings etc. are wonderful times for pastors and ministers to fellowship.
Elder Epley put it very well when he made the comment about being friends with everybody and buddys with none. People don't take correction well from their buddies.

I think what you're talking about here is different that what is referenced in the original point of this discussion. You're correct, ministers do benefit from time with fellow ministers. No doubt about that. But that doesn't preclude them from fellowshipping with the rest of the body on a personal level as well. A wise man accepts Godly input, even from 'buddies'. Those that don't are fools, and that's not the pastor's fault.