Serious Question

[freeatlast]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Free,

What do you do when a person thinks there is nothing wrong with porn? When they laugh about it, and consider it normal? What if they are in ministry?

Dunno PP..I only assist. I do not pastor and have never had to deal with it.

I did have one of my young people/guitar player come to me last year and cofess he had gotten his GF pregnant.

He set himself down. Pastor and I did not put any time on it. We told them to pray and when they felt ready to let us know when they felt comfortable to come back and play.

His GF was not involved in any ministry dept.

They just had their baby dedicated last sunday and are doing very good.

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

I think porn does hurt others. Smoking does too. It robs children of their parents, and cheats marriages out of sweet time.

There is a big difference in the indirect effects versus the direct effects.

I am out of this discussion before it follows the trend of other threads where we are both there.

Love ya, Bro!

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by philjones

There is a big difference in the indirect effects versus the direct effects.

I am out of this discussion before it follows the trend of other threads where we are both there.

Love ya, Bro!

Okey Dokey.

This is the signal for everyone to leave now.

I made the mistake of disagreeing again! ARGGGGHHHH!

And here I thought I was being pretty nice.

[Felicity]

MOW.....

Love your attitude and spirit regarding this topic. I think it's always in order to extend grace and mercy. Unconditional love and support is what people need in order to heal and often times the "problem" they have is indicative that they haven't ever received enough of that, love and affirmation I mean. Their need takes them to places they shouldn't go.

I know that there is time when a "time out" is needed for sure and sometimes some kind of disciplinary action is necessary. This doesn't usually solve the problem though because the action is indicative of deep down need that is not going to be ministered to by ostracizing and shaming the individual.

I've heard that fascination with and need for porn is often a control issue. ???

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Felicity

MOW.....

Love your attitude and spirit regarding this topic. I think it's always in order to extend grace and mercy. Unconditional love and support is what people need in order to heal and often times the "problem" they have is indicative that they haven't ever received enough of that, love and affirmation I mean. Their need takes them to places they shouldn't go.

I know that there is time when a "time out" is needed for sure and sometimes some kind of disciplinary action is necessary. This doesn't usually solve the problem though because the action is indicative of deep down need that is not going to be ministered to by ostracizing and shaming the individual.

I've heard that fascination with and need for porn is often a control issue. ???

I agree with this to the point that someone admits they have a problem and want help.

PP has said this guy doesn't see anything wrong with porn. So, he admitting that he's not doing anything wrong.

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Okey Dokey.

This is the signal for everyone to leave now.

I made the mistake of disagreeing again! ARGGGGHHHH!

And here I thought I was being pretty nice.

I think it was pretty clear what I meant in my post. You felt to disagree with it. That is fine... I would just rather not let this deteriorate into another silly shoving match!

Please continue the discussion without me. It is a valid issue and one that needs to be addressed!

[ManOfWord]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Okey Dokey.

This is the signal for everyone to leave now.

I made the mistake of disagreeing again! ARGGGGHHHH!

And here I thought I was being pretty nice.

You're doing fine, don't bail!!

Originally Posted by Felicity

MOW.....

Love your attitude and spirit regarding this topic. I think it's always in order to extend grace and mercy. Unconditional love and support is what people need in order to heal and often times the "problem" they have is indicative that they haven't ever received enough of that, love and affirmation I mean. Their need takes them to places they shouldn't go.

I know that there is time when a "time out" is needed for sure and sometimes some kind of disciplinary action is necessary. This doesn't usually solve the problem though because the action is indicative of deep down need that is not going to be ministered to by ostracizing and shaming the individual.

I've heard that fascination with and need for porn is often a control issue. ???

Folks that I have dealt with, at least the repentant ones, feel so ashamed and "dirty" that acceptance and mercy is vitally important to their deliverance.

Those who PP mentioned that think it is "normal", harmless and just part of manhood and should be accepted are DANGEROUS....especially if they are in the ministry! That is the kind of person I want to be far away from. That is the kind of person who will destroy lives.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by philjones

No, I would not feel comfortable with this knowledge.

Deal with it carefully and scripturally! This and other similar issues are all too common in society in general and the church in particular. We certainly must deal with it but it must be dealt with in love according to Galatians 6:1.

A time of proving to one's self is always in order. Certainly having a trustworthy accountability partner who has integrity is a critical defense against the repetition of the specific sin!

I agree. This is a great post. I would add that the first time it is confessed and dealt with that Christian Counseling should occur for at least 6 months to a year. With the counseling, like Bro. Phil stated, an accountability partner is very necessary. After a year then the Pastor, the counselor, the accountability person, and the person in question should get together to discuss progress and boundary setting before allowing the person back into leadership roles. The final authority should be the Pastor and what he feels is spiritually the right thing to do for the individual as well as for the church as a whole.

Just my opinion.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I agree with this to the point that someone admits they have a problem and want help.

PP has said this guy doesn't see anything wrong with porn. So, he admitting that he's not doing anything wrong.

I used Pastor P's initial post and then a few that I read quickly that were made by MOW as a jumping off point for my post. Didn't see the one about the guy who sees nothing wrong with porn.

I can't imagine why a man who has a wife would rather spend time with these "images". I think it's indicative of immaturity and I would think it would get old pretty quick. I mean, when you have a loving relationship with a real live warm woman and access to intimacy and physical expression of love and need, why and how could picture -- whether photos or video be better than that?

JY started a thread on FCF one time about all of this. He was making the query as to whether or not it was okay for married couples to use porn or porn type material in the bedroom to spice things up.

It's a real issue in marriages and homes today. Maybe it always has been but people are much more open about it all today so it's more "in our face" as something that has to be dealt with and reckoned with.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

You're doing fine, don't bail!!



Folks that I have dealt with, at least the repentant ones, feel so ashamed and "dirty" that acceptance and mercy is vitally important to their deliverance.

Those who PP mentioned that think it is "normal", harmless and just part of manhood and should be accepted are DANGEROUS....especially if they are in the ministry! That is the kind of person I want to be far away from. That is the kind of person who will destroy lives.

Wow! I totally agree. Repentance is key.

Its when men (or women) continue in the sin and act like nothing ever happened and then preach "godliness" to others that my stomach churns.