It's Time To Get Over It

[Brother Price]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

I had a clerk offend at the grocery store so I quit going to all grocery stores all the clerks only care about money and not my feelings.
Since I could not go to the grocery store because I was so hurt I started eating in resturants then one day a waitress hurt me I was so wounded I could never go back into another resturant.
So I started ordering pizzas then one night the delivery man was late and my pizza was cold he did not care for me so I was hurt and will never order a pizza again.
So because I could not eat I became sick and went to the hospital a nurse stuck me with a needle and told me to lie still she was a dictator I was hurt so I went home and I said NEVER will I go to a hospital they don't love me there and besides they had the nerve to send me a bill.
Finally I died I don't know if the undertaker loves me or not but he will put on me what he wants me to wear, put me in the room he chooses, have the service at his convience, then bury me without shedding a tear. At least he didn't hurt me.

I love it!!!!!

[Brett Prince]

Originally Posted by Brother Price

Welcome to the Bullseye Club! You are welcomed in Jesus name!

Apparently there are two versions of this club:

1) Those who hit the nail on the head, and therefore, can be said to have "hit the bullseye."

2) Those who make statements that put them squarely at the center of a whole bunch of people's gunsight.

There are some who make one club, but not the other...

[rrford]

Originally Posted by Brett Prince

Apparently there are two versions of this club:

1) Those who hit the nail on the head, and therefore, can be said to have "hit the bullseye."

2) Those who make statements that put them squarely at the center of a whole bunch of people's gunsight.

There are some who make one club, but not the other...

And each needs to other one in order to have a reason to "be."

[Old Paths]

Originally Posted by Hot Coffee Ms.
It’s time to get over it and pray through this situation. Aren’t you people adults? So stop acting like a child who wants sympathy, and a pat on the back, and you want someone to tell you that it’s ok. You know it‘s not ok not to have a church. You say you’ve been hurt by your pastor, and pulled out of the UPC, or all church attendance anywhere. You hate all pastors everywhere because they are all liars you say. And now you can’t trust anyone else to pastor you, so find a church that teaches truth. All Pastors are not cut from the same mold. You need a church and you need a pastor. So stop being so childish and grow up. We can’t hold grudges folks. It’s time to get over whatever the problem is. After all, aren’t you people adults? You sound so childish by starting all these silly threads demeaning the UPC and all Pastors too. It’s time to get over it and Get In A Church Somewhere.

It’s OK with most people if your boss dictates what we should wear. I know plenty who dress in uniform in order to hold a job, but He’s paying us to do this. That makes all the difference. It’s ok if our Boss expects us to report to work on time, and follow some form of standard. And we tolerate it if he gets on our case occasionally, after all he pays our salary, and that makes all difference in the world. We are willing to do lots of things we may not like in order to hold a job, but you will not allow our Pastor to lead you to Jesus.

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

And, to whom are you referring in particular, Ms. Regular Poster In Disguise?

No one in their RIGHT mind would try to disguise themselve and say they were from HOT COFFEE, MISSISSIPPI!



Hee heeeeeeeeeeeee

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Timmy

Since you asked, I will give some examples. (Some, not all, from personal experience.) You let me know, please, if they are worth "whining" about.

1. Whole family of teen and pre-teen siblings sexually abused by a prominent man in the church, over many years. When it's discovered by pastor's wife and some others, nothing is done about it. The man was never brought to justice. Died of old age.

2. Church member is denied permission to travel for grandmother's funeral. Not an acceptable excuse to miss church.

3. Pastor misappropriates church funds. Good ole boys in section leadership do nothing.

4. Brother (same mom and dad type brother) has cancer. Preacher prophesies divine healing. Brother dies from cancer.

5. From pulpit, pastor calls people out by name for sexual sin. Incorrectly, at that.

6. A wife is beaten by her husband. Knocked to the floor. Pastor does nothing, blames the wife.

Not to single you out, Chan, but would anyone here face these folks and tell them to just "Get over it!"?

Dear Timmy,

Your examples read like pages out of my past experience. My brother was molested, as were many boys in our church by a leader in the church we grew up in. As my mother prayed, shouted, and ministered to others her son was being molested and it has affected him for life.

I too was raised in a very conservative, extremely rigid church in Ohio. We were known for this among others in the District. Many similar things happened of which you speak.

There came a time in my life, that I had to forgive all these people and things that happened to me or my family and friends because it was eating me up. Keeping me from being all I could be. I realized that God gave people free choice to do what they will, and many times it hurts innocent people who truly love God. The good thing is...if God had not help my brother he might be dead today instead of where he is and getting his healing. The times that I thought God was nowhere to be found, He was carrying me and sheltering me under his wing...just as he promised.

My Pastor back then, whom I still love and admire...he was a great teacher but neglected many things in his family and the church suffered for it. Today he has regrets, his family has many issues and is in need of prayer and God's grace and mercy. It has humbled him and he has paid for his past mistakes and is still paying through his family. But, he has the hope that I have when God forgave me...God can take all our mistakes, all the things the devil meant to destroy us, and can forgive, can heal, and can restore.

Tim, things like this happen in or out of the church, but we can be so thankful that as God's people we can learn from the past and not repeat it. We can find grace and mercy as we show grace and mercy to those who have hurt us.

Things are different today for us. We now know we have choices. We can move, change churches, and even report abuse of any kind and find protection in the laws of the land, as well as in God. Will bad things continue to happen in churches? Yes, as long as churches are filled with imperfect people...but we have a hope. We belong to God and the scriptures are filled with promises that we can claim.

As far as this thread..."Just Get Over It?" It is not that easy, but it is possible. The person who began the thread may not have been through as much, or similar circumstances as some, and may have a different way to cope that works for them, as for me, personally...it took almost a decade for me to "Just Get Over It", and many times I still have flashbacks and realize that I need to keep things under the blood and remind myself that I have forgiven and will continue to forgive...not for them, but for me.

My Father, who art in heaven...Holy is your name!
Your kingdom come, your will be done...
In me, as it is in heaven.

Give me this day my daily bread [the things I need to survive]
And forgive me my sins as I forgive those who have sinned against me.
Lead me NOT into temptation...
But deliver me from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. AMEN.

Blessings, Rhoni

Originally Posted by tbpew

Its great to see that even you Chan are capable of making great, sweeping interpretations and generalizations. It really quite refreshing to read this substance-free style within your posting.

How is asking the questions I asked a "sweeping interpretation and generalization"? If they've stopped going to church or have stopped committing themselves to a local body of believers (as the original poster indicate), they are in rebellion against God.

Now, if you're done making stupid remarks, answer the questions!

Why are [they] hurt? Did the pastor step on their toes? Did he preach something that resulted in Holy Ghost conviction? Did his wife fail to come to someone's baby shower (I know a couple that left a church for that very reason)? Did the pastor fail to coddle them and make them feel good about themselves? Why are they hurt?

The fact of the matter is that, more often than not the reason people think they've been hurt in the church by their pastors or other saints is because of their own pride and selfishness.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

I had a clerk offend at the grocery store so I quit going to all grocery stores all the clerks only care about money and not my feelings.
Since I could not go to the grocery store because I was so hurt I started eating in resturants then one day a waitress hurt me I was so wounded I could never go back into another resturant.
So I started ordering pizzas then one night the delivery man was late and my pizza was cold he did not care for me so I was hurt and will never order a pizza again.
So because I could not eat I became sick and went to the hospital a nurse stuck me with a needle and told me to lie still she was a dictator I was hurt so I went home and I said NEVER will I go to a hospital they don't love me there and besides they had the nerve to send me a bill.
Finally I died I don't know if the undertaker loves me or not but he will put on me what he wants me to wear, put me in the room he chooses, have the service at his convience, then bury me without shedding a tear. At least he didn't hurt me.

The examples given are not realistic although I hear what you are trying to say.

The only ones who can truly hurt you are those you love and or care about. It is most difficult for those wounded by a friend, a brother, or sister that they trusted to just get over it...the Bible even supports this.

The only way to get over it is to forgive, and many times separate yourself from the situation, and put up healthy boundaries. Forgiving and trusting are two different things.

What hurts us is putting up walls that keep the pain in and the healing out. There must be a window of God's making that allows the pain/hurt out, and the healing balm of Gilead in.

Prayer and the practice of the spiritual disciplines is the best remedy for what ails us.

Blessings, Rhoni

Originally Posted by Timmy

Since you asked, I will give some examples. (Some, not all, from personal experience.) You let me know, please, if they are worth "whining" about.

Yes, I did ask.

1. Whole family of teen and pre-teen siblings sexually abused by a prominent man in the church, over many years. When it's discovered by pastor's wife and some others, nothing is done about it. The man was never brought to justice. Died of old age.

Yes, and the Corinthian church had a member that was sleeping with his step mother and that church didn't do anything about it until Paul told them to put that man out of the church for a time. He later told them to forgive him and receive him back into the church after he repented. Who do you think you are to say that the perpetrator in your scenario was not brought to justice? God's justice is perfect justice and the perpetrator will be held accountable (if he never repented of his sin, he will be spending eternity in the lake of fire). Where were the parents of these children? Why didn't they do something after the church (according to you) swept it under the rug? (It's conspicuous that you're only relating one side of the story). Then, of course, there's that whole command from Jesus to forgive thing that so many seem to think doesn't apply to Christians in the 21st century. That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

2. Church member is denied permission to travel for grandmother's funeral. Not an acceptable excuse to miss church.

Excuse me? Since when do saints need permission from their pastor to attend a funeral? Not an acceptable excuse to miss church? Well, there are different ways of looking at it. After all, Jesus told the man who wanted to wait until his father died before following Jesus "let the dead bury the dead." It sounds to me like that church isn't a church but, instead, a cult! That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

3. Pastor misappropriates church funds. Good ole boys in section leadership do nothing.

They will give account to God. That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

4. Brother (same mom and dad type brother) has cancer. Preacher prophesies divine healing. Brother dies from cancer.

So, the preacher is a false prophet and should have been dealt with accordingly. That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

5. From pulpit, pastor calls people out by name for sexual sin. Incorrectly, at that.

That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

6. A wife is beaten by her husband. Knocked to the floor. Pastor does nothing, blames the wife.

Why is it the pastor's job to do something about it? Why doesn't the wife do something? Like, say, call the police!

Not to single you out, Chan, but would anyone here face these folks and tell them to just "Get over it!"?

Yes, I would tell them to "Get over it!" Of course, I would preface that with Jesus' command to forgive as He forgave them and tell them that as long as they keep holding onto the hurt they are only hurting themselves and building up a root of bitterness; but, yes, I would tell them to get over it.

Originally Posted by Trouvere

Not everyone is a whiner.Some folks have valid reasons.I think to generalize is wrong.Its like looking at someone else with a big beam in your own eye is what the word says.You cannot judge what another does or says or has gone through or even how they are coping as if the shoe were on your own foot you might not even fare as well.Let someone down at the church in ministry say rape or molest one of your children or grandchildren and lets see how it feels and how fast you are going to just get over it.Love beareth all things and even a weak brother or sister needs prayer and help and love.People do have a breaking point and the enemy of our souls knows this so he makes sure to put just enough pressure to destroy the weak.I refuse to tell anyone to just get over it.I want the Lord Jesus Christ to help them and to be a vessel of compassion for those who are lost and out of the sheepfold.

There is NEVER a valid reason for disobeying the command of God and, yes, I can judge those who use all kinds of supposed circumstances as an excuse to rebel against God! The original post indicated that many of these people have stopped going to church entirely. They are in rebellion against God because they have forsaken the assembling together and they have refused to forgive as Christ forgave them! Even if they don't go back to the particular church where they were supposedly hurt, they need to be part of a local church and take their place in the body of Christ.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Originally Posted by Chan

That's no excuse for entering into rebellion against God by refusing to be part of a local church.

You can't be serious and if you are-
I disagree with you and think this example is the greatest reason men need to be accountable.