Humorous things that have happened in Church

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by U376977

So many funny stories. Here is one I heard from the late Bishop Stalls. He was a Trinitarian minister in KY. He said years ago that he was pastoring a church and there was a sister Dodi Mae. Well, she was a large woman and had a young son. Turns out that the boy loved to nurse and moma was not going to cut him off. He was still on the moma bottle at 2 years old. Sister Dodi Mae was nursing the boy under a towel during church when they started singing I'll fly Away. Well, that was the song that always did it for Sis. and she stood and raised her arm and began to praise the Lord. Bro. Stalls said, sure enough he saw her start to get the quickening. She jerked and did a head pop several times. Then she went into an all out shout. The towel slip off and all the time she was holding the precious two year old on her hip. Bishop Stalls said it was the funniest thing seeing that boy weaving his head back and forth trying to latch back on to the ever bouncing target!!

OH MY! That is HILARIOUS!!!!!

I can just envision it too (unfortunately!!!)!

[iceniez]

We had an Evangalist Preaching for us, He was preaching and got to the midpoint of his sermon. Every time he took a step he would "BLAST" one off. Nobody made a sound.He started to preach harder [and faster] and the Blasts became more violent. My wife is looking at me as if I was doing it .She caught on and kept nudging me .Still no audible laughs but you could tell people were holding back.He then hurried the end of his message,and without skipping a beat put down the microphone and went straight to the restroom.At the time I felt sorry and embarressed for him,I still do but it is too funny.

[Withdrawn]

Twenty or so years ago, there was a visiting minister at our congregation. He was the father of my pastor's son-in-law and was a very dear man. He was testifying one night after the choir sang a song called "The Blood-bought, the Church, the Redeemed" and really got himself worked up. As he was shouting how glad he was to be in the church, his dentures decided they were no longer glad to be in his mouth and they came FLYING OUT! Without skipping a beat, he caught them in his hand and put them right back in his mouth to finish his testimony. His last remark was "Orafix 'em, that'll fix 'em." The place erupted in a roar of laughter as he sat down.

[freeatlast]

Years ago my pastor was encouraging poeple to "get lose" in the spirit.

He told them not to worry about "widfire".

He said, "if a wildfire breaks out, don't worry somebody will throw a wet back on it.

What I'm sure he meant to say was wet blanket

Some of people from south of the border looked a bit puzzled though.

[Maximilia]

We had a (uh simple) lady in our church who thanked God that she had her pap smear and everything seemed to go fine.

[U376977]

Originally Posted by iceniez

We had an Evangalist Preaching for us, He was preaching and got to the midpoint of his sermon. Every time he took a step he would "BLAST" one off. Nobody made a sound.He started to preach harder [and faster] and the Blasts became more violent. My wife is looking at me as if I was doing it .She caught on and kept nudging me .Still no audible laughs but you could tell people were holding back.He then hurried the end of his message,and without skipping a beat put down the microphone and went straight to the restroom.At the time I felt sorry and embarressed for him,I still do but it is too funny.

Well, since you went there. I was not going to post this but....

I have a friend who went to IN in the 70's for a revival.. Did not know anyone but said he felt called to the area. He finally found a place he could use. It was a--not in use--chicken coop on a farm. It was 30 feet X 90 but the old farmer let him use it for nothing-just had to clean it up. That is funny in itself....Well God started blessing and soon the little coop was full of the faithful...people were receiving the HG and being baptized in JC.
His pattern was to preach have an alter service and then turn the meeting to a helper who would receive the offering. Well one night he was preaching and he felt that special pain in the gut that let him know that something was near. He started to wind it up, but before he could close two more pains came. He ran behind his makeshift pulpit and was saying a closing prayer, when all of a sudden no amount of crimping could hold back the urge. He filled his drawers before he got the Amen out. Then he immediately turned the service to his helper and made a bow legged run for the car. By the time they got back to the hotel--20 min. of visiting after the service, 20 min. drive, he was in bad shape. He said his only course of action was to take a shower in the suite. These old time holiness folks--got plenty of laughs out of the Rev who messed his drawers in the pulpit.

[Jack Shephard]

Our pastor in TN while tapping a service for the Sunday morning tv broadcast said "Let everything that has 'BREAST' praise the Lord" He quickly corrected himself and went on. The whole choir behind him could hardly contain the laughter and infact the whole church about exploded in laughter. Once the taping was complete--after he preached his message and the choir had sang another song the whole place exploded in laughter.

[All4one]

Many years ago, in a little church down by Fresno, they were so excited about a new convert who wanted to be baptized. The baptistry was a horse trough on the platform. They had curtains running across the front of the platform which they could use for plays and when someone got baptized they closed them so the convert could use the platform as a dressing room. Well, after the baptizm they closed the curtains so he could change his clothes, but one of the sisters got so excited about this new convert that she shouted all across the front and pulled the curtain down exposing the nude convert. After a second or two someone at the back got smart and shut all the lights off, he waited a few seconds and turned them back on showing the poor man mooning the congregation as he was feeling around trying to find his clothes. Well, the new convert never came back.

[Nina]

A local pastor was preaching on the radio about the sins of the beach in summer.
Instead of booze and babes it came out b**bs and babes, oops..