Healthy versus Unhealthy Relationships

[Nahum]

Have you ever heard the "still small voice of God" warning you to let go of an unhealthy relationship? Recently, I have been evaluating some of my relationships, and have decided that, without realizing it, I had made some unhealthy friendships with a few folks who wanted to destroy my relationship with sound doctrine.

I had thought that we could peacefully coexist with doctrinal differences, but these friends were not happy with that. They subtly tried to push me to accept trintarianism and all sorts of other false teachings. I eventually picked up on the fact that they were really mocking me and what I believed, so I decided it would be best to spend time with others who, at the very least, shared some very basic doctrinal disctinctives with me.

All of that got me thinking about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. How does one determine if a friendship is healthy or not?

Here are several questions that may be helpful in determining if a friendship is good for you.

1. Is this relationship worth the amount of work required to maintain it?
2. Does this person make me feel good about myself? Am I uncomfortable around them?
3. Is this friend competitive with me in a negative way?
4. Do I like who I am when I’m with them? Or do we seem to bring out the worst in each other?
5. How deeply can I trust this person? Could I count on them if I needed to? Could I share my feelings freely?
6. Do we have common interests and values? If not, do I benefit from the differences?
7. Am I receiving as much as I give?
8. If I gave this relationship the effort it deserves, would it benefit me and enrich my life?

The people you choose to surround yourself with should inspire you to be the absolute best you can be. They should want what is best for you. They should always build you up, and never tear you down. They should never encourage you to do wrong.

Real friends have no hidden agenda. They operate in truthfulness.

The bible says that "Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint" (Prov. 25: 19)

Make sure that your friendships come "with no strings attached."

[SDG]

Well, PP ... I still consider you a friend .... despite your current "revelation" and justifications. My extension of friendship is unconditional.

[Nahum]

Thank you Daniel.

That is very kind of you to say.

I wouldn't say it is a revelation, just a new awareness. I believe there is a lot of truth in the old adage "you are what your friends are."

I don't want to be what some of those acquaintances are.

I am happy with what I believe.

I refuse to bow to false doctrine to save friendships.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Thank you Daniel.

That is very kind of you to say.

I wouldn't say it is a revelation, just a new awareness. I believe there is a lot of truth in the old adage "you are what your friends are."

I don't want to be what some of those acquaintances are.

I am happy with what I believe.

I refuse to bow to false doctrine to save friendships.

'

Nor have you been asked to .... but I respect you for this week's decision. Be reminded that you can call whenever you need a friend.

[revrandy]

I think PP is right...

I've always told the boys "you become who you hang out with"...sometimes out intentions starting out are good...but can become muddled over time...

[SDG]

Originally Posted by revrandy

I think PP is right...

I've always told the boys "you become who you hang out with"...sometimes out intentions starting out are good...but can become muddled over time...

I do agree w/ many of his conclusions ... what PP. however, is battling is deeper, IMO. Often we do not realize that for every action ... there is a reaction. We are all responsible for our words, actions and decisions ... even when we initiate threads or respond in kind.

[deltaguitar]

I always like to hang out with folks who have differing opinions and views. It helps to keep me well rounded and sharp.

You will usually find out things that will cause you to question your own beliefs and this is almost always a good thing.

[Nahum]

It is true that I have been, and am, in a gargantuan internal struggle over the past few months. However, that struggle is not doctrinal, it is directional.

I place a very high value on friendship. I do not take friendships lightly, or treat them cavalierly, but there are limits to friendships.

Often my passion for certain issues is mistaken for emotionalism. Nothing could be more untrue. There are just some core distinctives that are not open for debate.

I never want to lead people astray.

[revrandy]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

I do agree w/ many of his conclusions ... what PP. however. is battling is deeper, IMO. Often we do not realize that for every action ... their is a reaction. We are all responsible for our words, actions and decisions.

We are also responsible for our fellowship...

I have no problem being "friends" with someone who disagree's with me doctrinally but do not consider them to be a "brother of like faith or passions"...

Considering them to be equal in love yes...equal in mercy yes...but not equal in Truth...and that is the difference...

Do I think some can believe a lie and die never knowing the truth yes...

Do I think some can know the Truth and die never making heaven yes...

Doctrinal Truth is a Great Responsibility when one has received the Revelation ..it is our responsibility to share it to whomever we can...

Telling those that are not in the truth they are wrong on Doctrine... but can come to know that Truth and it will set them free...

Courting those who not in Truth will justify their belief more than to help them understand their blindness....

I do believe the UPC and Oneness Organizations have the Truth concerning Doctrine.... and the Trinitarians have swallowed Catholicism and False Doctrine and it will lead them to Hell... Unless they come to the Truth of WHO He is...

You can't have it both ways...

That being said...

I love Everybody.... and I have friends who are Not in the Truth or have forsaken it...and I still talk with them...and I have let them know..that even tho' I disagree with them... I am still their friend.... and love them....
imo..

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

It is true that I have been, and am, in a gargantuan internal struggle over the past few months. However, that struggle is not doctrinal, it is directional.

I place a very high value on friendship. I do not take friendships lightly, or treat them cavalierly, but there are limits to friendships.

Often my passion for certain issues is mistaken for emotionalism. Nothing could be more untrue. There are just some core distinctives that are not open for debate.

I never want to lead people astray.

In our quest for direction we will hear differing viewpoints and perspectives from our own brethren

.... yet in the Body we called to unity and NOT UNIFORMITY ... some have chose closed fellowship w/ the Christian bretheren and other's seek an AGAPE-like type fellowship.

Doctine is extremely important ... but let's not confuse things like views on the moderate consumption of alcohol w/ the Mighty God in Christ.