Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneEyre
Pray for me. I don't want to harbor bitterness in my heart. I need to release some issues and allow God to heal me - spiritually and emotionally. I've been hurt deeply by some people in the UPCI and I have avoided them and said that I would never attend another UPCI church other than for a funeral or wedding. To put it simply, I was wronged. Treated unjustly and betrayed. That may sound subjective to you - but I have the facts to prove it. That is no excuse for hatred, resentment and bitterness. Pray that when I say I have forgiven these people that I really have.
Please don't tell me I am a whine baby. LOL
Thank you.
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Miss Jane,
Many have already told you that this is a common theme for man of us. I had friends that I
"whined to for years". A friend told me one day, "They don't care what you think so you are wasting your time trying to defend your case." She was also telling me,
"I'm tired of hearing about it". It was then I got a therapist. They are a captive audience. Thank God for Christian counselors who can not only hear what you are saying but they can sort through the confusion and get to the root of the issue.
It took me 5 years to forgive UPCI. They were so big they could care less over one person with a gripe/ex-UPCI preacher's wife or not. But it was eating me alive. I had to purposely forgive. I got a journal, dated the pages, and wrote my lists of grievances and then asked God to help me forgive and I wrote down on that day that I forgave them.
Did it cross my mind again? oOf course...sometimes weekly but then I would verbally say out loud to myself...on this date I forgave them. I could go a week, then a couple weeks, then a month, then every couple months. I have went years even. Does it rear its head every now and then...of course...but I have to do the same thing. Acknowledge it, pray about it, and remind myself that I forgave them on such and such a date.
If you expect apologies...don't, many times it never happens. When it does you can honestly look the person in the eyes and say, "I forgave you long ago, but I appreciate your honesty." You can hug them and go on.
If one honestly searches one's own heart you can find many things others have forgiven you for, and many things God has forgiven you for and washed clean in His blood. When you look at your offense from this perspective...you will be humbled and able to forgive more readily.
In my Divorce Recovery Classes,
which I borrowed from the Church of Christ...we practice
4-Way Forgiveness.
1. I state the offense done to me with a trusted friend. I close my fist around it. We pray.
2. I state that I am forgiving them and releasing it to God and raise my fists and open them to God. We pray.
3. I then state a blessing that I want for this person and hold it in my hand, then we pray together for this person.
4. I raise my fist and open/release it to God. We pray.
The act of doing this triggers something in you and releases you to forgive. Forgive without expecting recompense or an apology and it frees you. Since many don't care enough about you to acknowledge the offense they do not harbor the bitter feeling in their stomache which effects all you do. But it frees you to move forward with a clean heart and restore love in your life which always affects those around you.
Hope this helps.
Blessings, Rhoni
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