Dear Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Disclaimer:
This is just so that the members of AFF know and understand something...this thread, Dear Rhoni, is a thread for entertainment only! This thread is not a ministry thread nor have I been asked, nor have I agreed to be the AFF Counselor.

If one chooses to post a question here or PM, E-mail, or contact me by phone wanting to remain anonymous, that will be done as much as is possible...knowing this is a public forum and read by many...not just those who claim to be members. So, post at your own risk, and know that much of what has been posted as question and answer is changed to protect others.

Blessings, Rhoni



I received a letter which got me to thinking about this...I know this won't fly unless it is accepted so...it is up to all of you:

Dear Rhoni,

I am a male, preacher in my 40's and I am single. I have no problem with this, but my friends and peers do. Everyone is trying to fix me up but I am content single. Do you think something is wrong with me?

Happily Single

__________________________________________________ _______________


Dear Happily Single,

Nothing is wrong with you. Many people, both men and women, are happy single. Actually, Paul stated in his writings in the New Testament that it was better to remain as he was, single, so that he could serve God without other distractions.

If this is how you truly feel about being single then I suggest that you not date. If you date anyone other than a personal friend for functions that you need a companion for you are not being fair to the other person who might have hopes of the possibility of marriage to you.

As I have stated, nothing is wrong with being single. You are not the only one content in this way. Kindly tell your friends who try to fix you up what you have stated to me...you are happlily single. Thank-you, but no thank-you.

Rhoni


__________________________________________________ _______________

[Rhoni]

Digging4Truth Posted: Feb 2 2007, 05:55 PM



Paul would agree.

Blubayou Posted: Feb 2 2007, 06:24 PM


You go Rhoni!!! I think this is a great idea. Our own Dear Abby. I am dating myself

From the other forum...

[Rhoni]

When I was in Middle School. I helped in our High School newspaper and ran a column called...Dear Shod [after a friend who had that nickname]. It was a sucess in High School but here it might not go over too well but it could be fun...keep me thinking like a counselor.

My job at this point is against my value system of sorts. I am assessing people for psychosis and suicidal and homicidal ideation or intent and then making a decision to transfer to s PSych hosptial. This is just covering up the problems and medicating.

I am a firm believer in preventative measures of counseling and trying to resolve issues without medication.

So, the reason for this thread is self-serving somewhat. I need to keep my mind sharp and practice Christian counseling.

Blessings, Rhoni

Carry over...

[ManOfWord]

Dr. Rhoni is IN the house!!!

I always appreciate your comments which I'm sure are very helpful to many!!! You KEEP goin' girl!

[Trouvere]

I like the one started about Apostolic Women in the Workplace.I work in an enviroment that is mostly male.I fend off all the hits.Its easier to laugh them off than get offended.I just look at it as worldly men doing what their sin nature dictates.People though without Jesus really are looking for something
special and sometimes they think its the person instead of Jesus.
Sister Rhoni I would like to read some real life scenarios.Sometimes apostolic women
working outside the workplace end up abandoning home and Jesus.Its a sad subject.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

I like the one started about Apostolic Women in the Workplace.I work in an enviroment that is mostly male.I fend off all the hits.Its easier to laugh them off than get offended.I just look at it as worldly men doing what their sin nature dictates.People though without Jesus really are looking for something
special and sometimes they think its the person instead of Jesus.
Sister Rhoni I would like to read some real life scenarios.Sometimes apostolic women
working outside the workplace end up abandoning home and Jesus.Its a sad subject.

QUOTE (Rhoni @ Feb 6 2007, 08:22 AM)
QUOTE
Dear Rhoni,

Valentine's Day is coming up and I was just curious as to whether it is proper to send valentine's to co-workers? I think it is fun, but others think it is childish. What do you think?

Sweetness

Thank-you to those who are PM'ing and EM'ing questions. This is good!

Dear Sweetness,

It would depend on the environment you work in. It would not be appropriate for a more formal professional environment, but if it is laid back and others enjoy doing things of this nature it would be good.

Some of the barriers to doing this:

1). If there are gay, bi-sexual, or lesbian co-workers it is very offensive for some to get a Valentine.

2). If the co-workers are married it may be crossing a boundary for them or yourself.

3). Valentines are fun for children who are in the latency stage of development and male or female is not an issue, but when we are older then other things come in to play.

The safest policy would be to only send Valentines to family members and or boyfriends and girlfriends to keep it appropriate.

[Rhoni]

Dear Rhoni,
I was thinking about purity and the single christian adult.There are so many books on the market with this subject title.Its hard being a single adult especially if you have been married before.You were used to sharing everything and suddenly you
find yourself with no one to share with.I remained five years single before marrying.It was so important to guard my thought life.I never felt like I needed
a person to make me complete like I hear so many people saying.I filled up
my life with church,family and friends.To me dating was never important except for
functions that made you feel even more singled out.Since Valentines is coming up some do not realize that just the light jesting about it can be an ache for a single
persons heart.Anyway there are issues to deal with and especially for those finding themselves single again.What are some of your suggestions for those dealing with these issues?

[Rhoni]

After rereading your question I have a different interpretation on your meaning. What I understand you to be asking is in relationship to the intimacy issues after the ending of a marriage. This brings up many things that are the same, and many things that are different:

After a marriage has ended and you no longer have the continued physical relationship with a spouse...it is difficult to deal with the loss of intimacy. The things that stay the same; the commandments of God to abstain from sexual relations outside of marriage. We have to go back to what we know about abstaining from sexual immorality when we were teenagers, or before marriage.

Many of our schools teach about reclaiming your virginity by starting fresh at this point and not having sexual relationships outside the marriage bed. For those reclaiming their purity, there has to be much prayer and much self-restraint. One has to keep oneself from being alone with a date/member of the opposite sex so as not to be put in a vulnerable situation.

The thing that is different after marriage is; now you know what you are missing and your body craves this, much more self denial and restraint has to happen. Can it be done? Absolutely. Remember, our bodies are the temple of the Holy Ghost and it is a gift to God and to your future spouse. Regardless of your sexual past, you can obtain forgiveness and restoration. The restoration takes place in your heart and mind.


A good thing to do is immerse yourself in the work of God, practice the spiritual disciplines, and maintain a professional distance from putting yourself in a compromising situations. Remember, God is our refuge and strength and it is His will for you to keep your commitment to Him, to yourself, and to your future spouse.

In God's Grip, Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

I like the one started about Apostolic Women in the Workplace.I work in an enviroment that is mostly male.I fend off all the hits.Its easier to laugh them off than get offended.I just look at it as worldly men doing what their sin nature dictates.People though without Jesus really are looking for something
special and sometimes they think its the person instead of Jesus.
Sister Rhoni I would like to read some real life scenarios.Sometimes apostolic women
working outside the workplace end up abandoning home and Jesus.Its a sad subject.

Carpenter;

I want to address the question in the bolded portion of your quote: There are many areas to cover here so I will go with the one that is closest to me:
Apostolic Women in the Workplace

It would be, may be nicer for Apostolic women to work in the home and church, but many times it is of necessity that Apostolic women are forced into the workplace. This is not to say that some don't CHOOSE to work, because many women feel devalued to be "housewives as well as stay at home mothers". But this is another issue.

Those Apostolic Women who work should know this:
*many of us are sheltered, naive if you would.
*many of us are perceived to be naive, not worldly wise, not knowing the score
*many of us have limited experience working outside the home or church
*many of us don't realize how beautiful worldly men think we are; with our uncut hair, absence of make-up, wearing feminine dresses and skirts, and wearing fancy hairdoes, and sweet smelling perfume be become an obession to many
*many men know how to make a woman feel admired and valued when they don't feel this way in their home from their Apostolic men/husbands
*many Apostolic women are vulnerable/easy targets for men who would like to teach, experience a truly unspoiled by the world - woman

With this said, Apostolic women in the workplace need to know the score, understand the reactions they will get from worldly men, put up appropriate safeguards & boundaries, and let their Christianity/good not be evil spoken of or taken advantage of.

How does the cultural changes regarding divorce abortion, divorce, and women's lib affect Apostolic women?

50% of American marriages end in divorce, the highest increase of divorce, since 1995 has been in Pentecostal ranks, which includes Apostolics. Because of divorce, Apostolic females are left, undereducated, and ill-equipped to take care of their families when poverty level hits post-divorce, and child support is sporatic if at all, even among the Apostolci men who are taught to be providers for their families.

Abortion happens in the church too thanks to Roe VS. Wade. Family/ministry secrets...trying to save face/save ministries and they go against their own teachings to kill the unborm child to safeguard their reputations.

Women's lib has done a number on male as well as female Apostolics...we don't know our rightful place any more. Men are too passive and do not adequately feel the need to support their wives/families finacially, emotionally, or spiritually. Women have had to take the lead, become more assertive than their personality even allows, and have to become 'liberated' in order to survive and function in this world.

These are some of the issues and problems. Rhoni is at work and has much more to say about this matter and will do so at a more opportune time.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Here is a message I recieved:

Dear Rhoni,

When I was young, I had hopes, dreams, and goals which I had reached and attained by the age of 28. Since that time life and chance has changed my course and I find myself drifting aimlessly, with very little control over what happens to me.

I have had dreams, and goals; I have reached some but the main ones remain out of my grasp. I have watched others in similar positions die, not having attained fulfillment of their dreams. I have seen the despair in their eyes, and all hope lost. I do not want to be a statistic...

What can I do to rekindle hope, desire, and fulfillment once again in my life?

Hopeless