Crazy Stuff in Church

[derAlte]

One of the supreme joys of my life is having communion with the Holy Ghost. In His presence is fullness of joy and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore. For most of the four plus decades I’ve been an Apostolic Christian, church services have been nothing but a delight. But there have been a few times when things went haywire. The circumstances may be humorous now but at the time were perplexing. I’m starting this thread so we can share crazy stuff that may have happened in church services.

I’ll go first.

A few years after God filled me with the Holy Ghost, I was in a wonderful church. Our pastor was young but had a zeal for revival. One Sunday morning, things went off the rails for him. Here’s how it unfolded…

In our town, we had an active Gideons International group. They had approached our pastor for permission to make a presentation at our church on a Sunday morning. The Gideons rightly have a good reputation printing and distributing Bibles all over the world. Our pastor was not averse to their coming. I don’t remember the poor man’s denomination, but the Gideon who arrived that Sunday morning was not Pentecostal. I’m thinking he must have been a Baptist or some such. Was he in for a surprise!

Also attending church that morning was a zealous young man who had received the Holy Ghost not long before. He was a single, sincere, intense guy in his mid-20s. He had a deep desire for more of God. He also had a lot to learn.

In those days, the church started with Sunday school, taught by our pastor, followed by a full-on worship service and ending with preaching and an altar call.

On that particular Sunday, I had invited my old non-Pentecostal German grandmother to come to church. To my surprise, she agreed. I picked her up in my '63 Plymouth Valiant with the push-button shift and was excited to have her in service as we made our way into the sanctuary that morning. We sang a chorus and the kids were dismissed to attend their classes. Our pastor began to teach the adults.

As I sat there, I began to hear a low level hum coming from the other side of the church. Looking to my right, I observed the intense new convert rocking back and forth with stammering lips. He was scheduled to lead worship that morning after the Gideon man made his presentation following Sunday school.

My pastor kept teaching but all the while this young kept rocking back and forth with stammering lips. I found it annoying, to be honest. My old German granny just sat there taking it all in.

When our pastor finished teaching, the Gideon made his presentation. It was standard, boilerplate Baptist rhetoric. When he finished, the intense young man stepped up to the pulpit to lead the congregation in songs. I had, at this point, left my grandmother and had gone to the platform to play my saxophone in the orchestra.

This is where the service unraveled. The intense young man began to loudly speak in tongues and kept at it for some time. There was no interpretation. I looked over at my grandmother, who was quietly observing. This was not how church normally proceeded. I leaned over to the pastor’s wife, who was at the organ, and in a panic asked, “What’s going on?” Equally panicked, my pastor’s wife answered, “I don’t know.”

And then things got even more bizarre when a few moments later, the young man fell flat on his back, slain in the Spirit, as it was called in Pentecostal circles, still loudly speaking in tongues. The Baptist Gideon had wide eyes, thoroughly alarmed. My sweet old grandma continued to demurely observe.

After this went on for a while, our pastor, not knowing what else to do, stepped to the pulpit and asked everyone to kneel and pray. Everyone responded with alacrity. Not feeling that he could pull the service back together, our pastor dismissed after everyone had had a season of prayer.

My mind was in a turmoil as I escorted my dear old grandmother out to the car. What kind of impression had she gotten from all this? She looked at me and with deep sincerity told me, “I know what happened to that young man.”

With dread in my heart, I reluctantly asked her, “What happened to him?”

With conviction she told me, “His soul left his body and went on a journey.” My late grandfather had been a devotee of books regarding “soul travel” and other mystical hooey. I wanted to face-palm. Grandma definitely didn’t get it.

While I was sitting in my Plymouth Valiant hearing my grandmother’s ooky-spooky theories, an older man and his son in the congregation buttonholed the intense new convert and dragged him off into a Sunday school room. He later told me they tried to cast the devil out of him! They interpreted everything that happened at the pulpit that morning as demonic.

My poor pastor!

Anyone else here ever have crazy stuff happen in church?

[Evang.Benincasa]

That was awesome!!!!

I love your grandmother.

[Evang.Benincasa]

I was once in a meeting where a brother was praying a young man through. I was praying with the young lad as well, when all of a sudden the brother praying with the youth slapped his jaw, not once but a few times. Needless to say that took the young man right out of focus on anything godly. or even seeking repentance. the brother went to do it again, and this time I stop him, but he moved on to someone else. He then repeated the same slapping the jaws of his next victim. I then reached out and stopped him from whacking a young girl seeking the Holy Ghost. Pulled the brother to the side and asked him what gives? He tried to explain to me that in order to help them get the Holy Ghost they needed to get the lips trembling. He then said back home I get'em bloody sometimes. At this point, I had my "what?" face on, and motioned him to the outdoors where I could explain the way of the Lord more perfectly. Another one was the use of Pentecostal tic tacs. Praying people through with bad breath can at times hinder the move of the Spirit. Well, a close brother to me was praying a young man through when they ended up face to face, and the halitosis was at maximum strength. The young seeker snapped out of all seekness and by the looks of it almost fell out flat. Not slain in the spirits, but slain by the smell of intense gum disease? Anyway later that camp the young man got the Holy Ghost big time. Probably prayed through by someone with sweeter fresher breath.

[derAlte]

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

I was once in a meeting where a brother was praying a young man through. I was praying with the young lad as well, when all of a sudden the brother praying with the youth slapped his jaw, not once but a few times. Needless to say that took the young man right out of focus on anything godly. or even seeking repentance. the brother went to do it again, and this time I stop him, but he moved on to someone else. He then repeated the same slapping the jaws of his next victim. I then reached out and stopped him from whacking a young girl seeking the Holy Ghost. Pulled the brother to the side and asked him what gives? He tried to explain to me that in order to help them get the Holy Ghost they needed to get the lips trembling. He then said back home I get'em bloody sometimes. At this point, I had my "what?" face on, and motioned him to the outdoors where I could explain the way of the Lord more perfectly. Another one was the use of Pentecostal tic tacs. Praying people through with bad breath can at times hinder the move of the Spirit. Well, a close brother to me was praying a young man through when they ended up face to face, and the halitosis was at maximum strength. The young seeker snapped out of all seekness and by the looks of it almost fell out flat. Not slain in the spirits, but slain by the smell of intense gum disease? Anyway later that camp the young man got the Holy Ghost big time. Probably prayed through by someone with sweeter fresher breath.

Wow! That's one way to get their lips trembling. Crazy! Regarding halitosis, I have a friend who jokes when he meets people, "I don't recognize your face but your breath's familiar!"

[jediwill83]

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

I was once in a meeting where a brother was praying a young man through. I was praying with the young lad as well, when all of a sudden the brother praying with the youth slapped his jaw, not once but a few times. Needless to say that took the young man right out of focus on anything godly. or even seeking repentance. the brother went to do it again, and this time I stop him, but he moved on to someone else. He then repeated the same slapping the jaws of his next victim. I then reached out and stopped him from whacking a young girl seeking the Holy Ghost. Pulled the brother to the side and asked him what gives? He tried to explain to me that in order to help them get the Holy Ghost they needed to get the lips trembling. He then said back home I get'em bloody sometimes. At this point, I had my "what?" face on, and motioned him to the outdoors where I could explain the way of the Lord more perfectly. Another one was the use of Pentecostal tic tacs. Praying people through with bad breath can at times hinder the move of the Spirit. Well, a close brother to me was praying a young man through when they ended up face to face, and the halitosis was at maximum strength. The young seeker snapped out of all seekness and by the looks of it almost fell out flat. Not slain in the spirits, but slain by the smell of intense gum disease? Anyway later that camp the young man got the Holy Ghost big time. Probably prayed through by someone with sweeter fresher breath.

When someone's breath reeks like the gaping maw of Hell itself who WOULDNT repent?

[Amanah]

One time an elderly lady went up for prayer and on her way back to her seat her half slip fell down around her ankles and she stepped out of it. It was everything I could do not to laugh, all of us were having a hard time not giggling. then someone had to go get the skirt and take it to her because it was distracting.

[Evang.Benincasa]

I was in an Assembly of God church and the preacher was preaching up a storm. All of a sudden his pants gave loose. Fortunately he was safe behind the pulpit. His wife sprang into action and ran and got one of those "slain in the spirit sheets" they give to the ladies when they swoon in prayer. The wife of the minister gave him the sheet, he wrapped it around his waist and finished his sermon. His wife sat down with eyes as big as half O dollars. She was burning red hot holes into her husband's forehead. She was wondering why on earth he wasn't going to get himself together. I looked over my shoulder to my bud who invited me to the service. He was face palmed and sinking fast. I just got up and motioned my friend that I was leaving and I would talk to him later. I had enough of the show.

[TakingDominion]

We had a nut job one time run around the church in nothing but a Dallas cowboys jacket.... Maybe that's why I've never liked the cowboys. Two ushers tackled him about 3/4 of the way around and dragged his half naked self outside.

Another time a preacher mistook a pair of his wife's panties for a hankerchief. Needless to say, when he pulled it out in the middle of his message and started wiping his forehead with it, the church lost it.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by TakingDominion

We had a nut job one time run around the church in nothing but a Dallas cowboys jacket.... Maybe that's why I've never liked the cowboys. Two ushers tackled him about 3/4 of the way around and dragged his half naked self outside.

Another time a preacher mistook a pair of his wife's panties for a hankerchief. Needless to say, when he pulled it out in the middle of his message and started wiping his forehead with it, the church lost it.

[derAlte]

Another time, a lady wanted to get baptized in Jesus' Name. Her boyfriend absolutely did not want this to happen. After our pastor had preached, he and the lady went behind the platform to get ready. The furious boyfriend followed. He was loaded for bear and was prepared to put a stop to this. A muscular ex-military policeman in our church saw what was about to happen and followed him behind the door. In the sanctuary, all we could hear was cussing and a series of bangs and crashes as the two grappled. The Lord was with our ex-military cop who soon had the upper hand. The man was sent packing and the lady was buried in the Name of the Lord without further interference.