Ministering To Victims Of Incest.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Sadly there are sick people in this troubled world of ours.
When people come into the church who are victims of Incest, how can we effectively minister healing and wholeness to them ?
How can we compassinately reach out to these battered and wounded people whom Christ died for ?

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

Sadly there are sick people in this troubled world of ours.
When people come into the church who are victims of Incest, how can we effectively minister healing and wholeness to them ?
How can we compassinately reach out to these battered and wounded people whom Christ died for ?

Love them, pray for them, and send them to a Christian therapist.

Sincerely, Rhoni

[TalkLady]

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

Sadly there are sick people in this troubled world of ours.
When people come into the church who are victims of Incest, how can we effectively minister healing and wholeness to them ?
How can we compassinately reach out to these battered and wounded people whom Christ died for ?

Whatever you do, DO NOT personally mention that God is like a Heavenly Father to them. They can't relate to that. You have to be very very gentle to them. It's almost as though they need a Mentor so that they can learn things that others who were not in that type of situation take for granted. They have to learn how to be accepted and they have to learn to trust others. The person who should have been their protector was their violator. The scars from those wounds will always be there for them to see, but the wound itself can be healed. Most of all, be gentle. Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit and should be used often with these people. We have worked with children who were abused by their own fathers, step-fathers, other relatives, mom's boyfriends and even moms themselves. This is a sad, sad situation. Most of all do something in your church to make them feel needed and important. Show them love and never condemn them, for often they blame themselves.

[Scott Hutchinson]

I know people sometimes don't want to admit it ,but this sick thing happens in our world ,and the church shouldn't bury it's head in the sand.
We need to rise up with healing in our wings and proclaim Healing and Wholeness that is available through Jesus Christ.

[TalkLady]

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

I know people sometimes don't want to admit it ,but this sick thing happens in our world ,and the church shouldn't bury it's head in the sand.
We need to rise up with healing in our wings and proclaim Healing and Wholeness that is available through Jesus Christ.

We need to be able to reach out to people in all situations....Women that have had abortions before they came to church, victims of incest, rape...If the love of Jesus Christ is to be shown it will be shown in how we treat other people - showing love one for another. A clothesline message is not going to mean much to someone who has been through any of these experiences.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

Sadly there are sick people in this troubled world of ours.
When people come into the church who are victims of Incest, how can we effectively minister healing and wholeness to them ?
How can we compassinately reach out to these battered and wounded people whom Christ died for ?

It would depend upon the age of the person, and where they're at in their journey towards healing, among other factors. But in general, I think they need patience, time, for someone to be available, caring, trustworthy, loving, gentle & non-judgemental; also, much prayer, and to be taught a proper view of God. I think it's helpful if they could receive counsel from a knowledgeable Christian. Most importantly, though, they really need the Lord and for someone to constantly point them towards Him. Hearing testimonies from other survivors would be beneficial as well. AND, they have to WANT to be whole and healed. I've encountered some who don't, believe it or not. In that case, there's not much that can be done... 'cept prayer (which, really, IS "much").

They have trouble letting go & letting God, though. Many of them have control issues for obvious reasons; so until they get to the point of desperation, being made whole just won't happen. It's also a trust issue... they don't even trust God - so how can they allow Him to bring healing? Often times, they can't.

It's like they're in a horse-drawn carriage and the horses are running completely out of control and the person has a tight grip on the reins and is screaming for help. They really WANT help; but they're unable to let go of the reins; even when the Savior rides up beside them on his horse, offering them safety. The Savior reaches out for them & says, "Grab my hand, I'll save you!" But He can't do more than that. If the person won't let go [of control/the reins] (either because they won't or because they're unaware that they have such a tight grip), they'll just continue to be driven out of control & towards danger. It sometimes takes a huge bump in the road to startle them enough to release their grip & jump into the arms of safety.

But Jesus always stays within arms-reach and will never stop offering His saving Grace. It just sometimes take guidance from another, or others, on how to reach out to Him (+ all that I wrote in my first paragraph).

[Trouvere]

The gifts of the spirit are a wonderful tool of God to do what no man can do on his own.God can set the captive free.

Originally Posted by Scott Hutchinson

Sadly there are sick people in this troubled world of ours.
When people come into the church who are victims of Incest, how can we effectively minister healing and wholeness to them ?
How can we compassinately reach out to these battered and wounded people whom Christ died for ?

First, keep them out of the hands of practitioners of that wicked worldly philosophy known as "psychology"! Second, it's important to bring them to a place where they can learn to forgive the perpetrator the way Christ forgave their sins (keep in mind that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) because until that forgiveness takes place there will never be healing and wholeness. Third, more important than anything else is the person's relationship with Christ. Satan often uses these kinds of situations to turn a person away from Christ - even if it's just going as far as getting the person to hold Christ somewhat at a distance while not completely walking away from Christian faith.

It's also important to help the person understand that he or she is not at fault and that there was nothing he or she did to deserve it, and to let that understanding sink in to the very core of their being (it isn't enough to intellectually acknowledge that one isn't at fault and didn't deserve it, one has to receive it all the way down into the very seat of one's emotions). All too often, victims may know in their mind that they're not at fault and didn't deserve it but they hold onto a belief in their heart that they are somehow at fault or that they did somehow deserve it. This prevents the healing process from even starting.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Chan

First, keep them out of the hands of practitioners of that wicked worldly philosophy known as "psychology"! Second, it's important to bring them to a place where they can learn to forgive the perpetrator the way Christ forgave their sins (keep in mind that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) because until that forgiveness takes place there will never be healing and wholeness. Third, more important than anything else is the person's relationship with Christ. Satan often uses these kinds of situations to turn a person away from Christ - even if it's just going as far as getting the person to hold Christ somewhat at a distance while not completely walking away from Christian faith.

It's also important to help the person understand that he or she is not at fault and that there was nothing he or she did to deserve it, and to let that understanding sink in to the very core of their being (it isn't enough to intellectually acknowledge that one isn't at fault and didn't deserve it, one has to receive it all the way down into the very seat of one's emotions). All too often, victims may know in their mind that they're not at fault and didn't deserve it but they hold onto a belief in their heart that they are somehow at fault or that they did somehow deserve it. This prevents the healing process from even starting.

Sometimes they don't even realize it's just head-knowledge & not heart-knowledge, sadly.

But I agree with you, Chan; forgiving the perpetrator is important. I also argree with what you said concerning the person's relationship with Jesus. Holding Him at a distance is what seems to often happen. That's not always realized for a while. It appears that the person is seeking the Lord and growing in a relationship with Him - and they may be; yet there's a distance that's there - something keeps them from completely trusting Him. It's a journey, for sure. Often times a very long and difficult one.

Originally Posted by Subdued

Sometimes they don't even realize it's just head-knowledge & not heart-knowledge, sadly.

Which is why a pastor, elder or other mature saint (and NOT some practitioner of psychology) needs to help the person come to that place - help they need the power and wisdom of God's Spirit to provide.

But I agree with you, Chan; forgiving the perpetrator is important. I also argree with what you said concerning the person's relationship with Jesus. Holding Him at a distance is what seems to often happen. That's not always realized for a while. It appears that the person is seeking the Lord and growing in a relationship with Him - and they may be; yet there's a distance that's there - something keeps them from completely trusting Him. It's a journey, for sure. Often times a very long and difficult one.

It's all in God's timing, if we don't resist His working in us.