Irreconcilable Differences

Nahum · #1 05-30-2007, 11:13 AM

I used to mock people who made that kind of claim to end a marriage.

Irreconcilable differences.

I used to think that there was no difference so great that a resolution could not be reached. I used to think that the "irreconcilable differences" claim was just an excuse to get out of a marriage, and swap up. But the older I get, the more I realize there really are some differences that cannot be resolved.

Understand that I am not excusing divorce. I still believe that a person has a moral obligation to stand by the vows they made to their spouse, and to God. But I can see how two people can diverge after a while. How life can effect major personality changes. So much so, that a person becomes unrecognizable after a while. This is why quality time in marriage must have its place. It minimizes the differences as people grow together.

I have several questions about "irreconcilable differences".

How should we handle the irreconcilable differences that arise in our lives outside of marriage?
How long do you stay with an employer you are consistently at odds with?
How long do you stay in an organization you disagree with?
How long do you stay in a church that is headed in a different direction than you want to go?

What level of disagreement is tolerable and acceptable? At what point do you cut bait and run?

MissBrattified · #2 05-30-2007, 11:14 AM

In reference to marriage...I think "irreconcilable differences" usually is code for: I'm tired of fighting.

Nahum · #3 05-30-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

In reference to marriage...I think "irreconcilable differences" usually is code for: I'm tired of fighting.

Me too.

rgcraig · #4 05-30-2007, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

In reference to marriage...I think "irreconcilable differences" usually is code for: I'm tired of fighting.

There are other meanings.

revrandy · #5 05-30-2007, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

I used to mock people who made that kind of claim to end a marriage.

Irreconcilable differences.

I used to think that there was no difference so great that a resolution could not be reached. I used to think that the "irreconcilable differences" claim was just an excuse to get out of a marriage, and swap up. But the older I get, the more I realize there really are some differences that cannot be resolved.

Understand that I am not excusing divorce. I still believe that a person has a moral obligation to stand by the vows they made to their spouse, and to God.
But I can see how two people can diverge after a while. How life can effect major personality changes. So much so, that a person becomes unrecognizable after a while. This is why quality time in marriage must have its place.

I have several questions about "irreconcilable differences". How should we handle the irreconcilable differences that arise in our lives outside of marriage?

How long do you stay with an employer you are consistently at odds with?
How long do you stay in an organization you disagree with?
How long do you stay in a church that is headed in a different direction than you want to go?

What level of disagreement is tolerable and acceptable? At what point do you cut bait and run?

There are two roads folks can take..

They can Grow together...

or they can grow apart...

Folks that grow together foster relationship and usually stick it out..

Folks that grow apart don't foster or nuture the relationship and usually wind up in seperate boats going opposite ways..

it all depends on what one wants to do..

Foster/ Nurture... allows for compromise and pliability in the relationship...