I am coming to this forum with a question or situation that I need feedback on. I have been lurking around here for a while.
I know that I am going to get some responses that go like, “you shouldn’t be asking for advice from people you have never met on an internet forum”. I have nowhere else to turn. There are people here that have written things that I respect.
I have been Oneness Pentecostal all my life. My entire family is OP, deeply entrenched in the OP church. I am 100% sure that none of them will ever leave this culture.
I have been on a inner path for the last 10 to 15 years, trying to figure out what I really believe. This is not topic relating to “standards”, because that is such a small concern to me. I have come to realize that I do not really believe a lot of what the OP church teaches/preaches is really accurate or necessary. So this is not about justifying any change on those things.
My real concern is my discomfort at even accepting Christianity as totally valid. It is big leap of faith for me because I have to accept the Bible as the truth to do so. It is not that I have a problem with the Bible. It is that in all of the belief systems out there, accepting the Bible as the true word of the true God is only possible through blind faith. I don’t know that I have that anymore. I am not saying that I am ready to turn my back on Christianity, just that I wish I could openly discuss my issues .
I play the part, and follow the rules and have a fairly full life. But I feel like a fraud 75-80% of the time. If I were to come clean with my feelings and thoughts, I know my family would still love me. But it would devastate them and forever change our relationship. They would not be capable of understanding it. Devastating them would devastate me, and I am not sure I will ever be strong enough to do it. It would mean that I would be starting my life over with no support system.
I know that there is no answer to this, but I would really like any input or wisdom that you could give to me.
I'm sure that there are plenty here who will give advice. I'm sure that some will be good and some will be bad. Personally, I just feel led to pray for you now. Your sincerity and desire for real answers are so obvious in your post. I just feel led to pray that God Himself will speak to you in a real way. At this point I don't think anything less would suffice for you, nor do I think that you should have to settle for anything less.
God Bless,
__________________
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
Either the United States will destroy ignorance, or ignorance will destroy the United States. – W.E.B. DuBois
I'm sure that there are plenty here who will give advice. I'm sure that some will be good and some will be bad. Personally, I just feel led to pray for you now. Your sincerity and desire for real answers are so obvious in your post. I just feel led to pray that God Himself will speak to you in a real way. At this point I don't think anything less would suffice for you, nor do I think that you should have to settle for anything less.
I don't really have any wisdom to give since I am going through a lot the same thing. I can tell you that I have been researching some on how the Jews approach their study of the Bible, reviewing some (not very fundamental) ways of looking at the Bible, and studying more on love, mercy, grace, and faith than the things that would prove oposing views, opinions, or practices to be right or wrong. Its been a challenge, but an interesting one.
I am coming to this forum with a question or situation that I need feedback on. I have been lurking around here for a while.
I know that I am going to get some responses that go like, “you shouldn’t be asking for advice from people you have never met on an internet forum”. I have nowhere else to turn. There are people here that have written things that I respect.
I have been Oneness Pentecostal all my life. My entire family is OP, deeply entrenched in the OP church. I am 100% sure that none of them will ever leave this culture.
I have been on a inner path for the last 10 to 15 years, trying to figure out what I really believe. This is not topic relating to “standards”, because that is such a small concern to me. I have come to realize that I do not really believe a lot of what the OP church teaches/preaches is really accurate or necessary. So this is not about justifying any change on those things.
My real concern is my discomfort at even accepting Christianity as totally valid. It is big leap of faith for me because I have to accept the Bible as the truth to do so. It is not that I have a problem with the Bible. It is that in all of the belief systems out there, accepting the Bible as the true word of the true God is only possible through blind faith. I don’t know that I have that anymore. I am not saying that I am ready to turn my back on Christianity, just that I wish I could openly discuss my issues .
I play the part, and follow the rules and have a fairly full life. But I feel like a fraud 75-80% of the time. If I were to come clean with my feelings and thoughts, I know my family would still love me. But it would devastate them and forever change our relationship. They would not be capable of understanding it. Devastating them would devastate me, and I am not sure I will ever be strong enough to do it. It would mean that I would be starting my life over with no support system.
I know that there is no answer to this, but I would really like any input or wisdom that you could give to me.
I don't have any input on the spiritual side (and if I did, you wouldn't want it from me! LOL).
But I know that for myself, I would much rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.
I feel for you. No matter what choice you make, it's going to be hard. I wish you wisdom and discernment, and strength and courage for whatever choice you make!
I'm sure that there are plenty here who will give advice. I'm sure that some will be good and some will be bad. Personally, I just feel led to pray for you now. Your sincerity and desire for real answers are so obvious in your post. I just feel led to pray that God Himself will speak to you in a real way. At this point I don't think anything less would suffice for you, nor do I think that you should have to settle for anything less.
God Bless,
What more can anyone say other than that which was said by your original poster....prayer brings those answers so pray with us as we pray with you : )
You will be remembered friend and know that some of us have traveled a very similar road. But when our faith failed to reach God, His love never failed to reach us.
I am also from a family that is deeply entrenched in the OP faith. I understand what you are saying and where you are coming from even if it isn’t entirely the same issue. I understand the need to completely search out everything and stand firm in what you do know. I will be praying that God gives you the wisdom to search his word and then give you the strength to stand for what you believe and be true to him and yourself…even if it does change your relationship with family and friends.
This entire walk is by faith and not by sight or the physical around us. Often times we lose faith, and it is in those times that he is most faithful to us. I would say to just forget religion… search for relationship. You may not be able to actually voice all of your concerns to anyone, but remember he will always listen.
I know that several years ago when I was still married, I was very angry at God and religion. I told God that there had to be more to him than this…because if there wasn’t, I was done! I was told I had the ultimate experience on the face of the earth, yet I was the most miserable and unhappy person. I didn’t believe it… there had to be more. The road has had many twists and turns, but my faith in God today is stronger than it ever has been. I do not believe like everyone else, in fact, if I shared all my beliefs on this forum, I would have many praying for me. However, I am firmly planted in the truth that I do know… and it has made me free. God is very real to me, and I do not have to have man or family validate my experience with him. I am happy in my relationship with him and I know he is pleased with me.
I will be sincerely praying for you. Seek for him with all your heart.. not religion or its ideas, seek for him. He will meet you wherever you are because ultimately, regardless of what you are thinking or how you are thinking, he already knows your thoughts and he loves you still. Nothing you can do, say or think will ever make him not love you and neither can anything you can do make him love you more.
Alright, just for that, I'm not giving any advice. So there!
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