!!Frustrated Dad!!

[BrotherEastman]

Okay, what do Apostolics do when your two year old throws a tantrum? How do we show love to a toddler who wants to always get his way? Maybe we spoil him too much. *shrugs*

[Sam]

He's going through the "terrible two's"
Just keep loving him like your Heavenly Father keeps loving you when you throw "tantrums"
This too shall pass

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

Okay, what do Apostolics do when your two year old throws a tantrum? How do we show love to a toddler who wants to always get his way? Maybe we spoil him too much. *shrugs*

Nah...throwing fits is pretty typical no matter what. My 4 year old *still* throws those spectacalar fits. He's more stubborn than your average bear though.

And, a toddler always wanting to get his way is typical too. That's what toddlers do!

At 2, he's just starting to figure out he's a separate person. This concept is blowing his little mind. He's gotta check this out, how does this work? Why does this work? It's probably kind of scary too, to realize he's not really just a part of you and mama. And overwhelming. Change always is...

Calm consistency is the key.

He asks, you say no. He throws fit. Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM NOW! lol You will live to regret that if you do.

A lot of the time, distraction is the key. "I know you really want X. You can't have X right now. Would you like A?" Or if he can have it later, but not right now..I'd use "first, then" to explain time. "First, we have to pick up your toys, then you can have a piece of candy."

And about distraction? Seriously..."Wow...did you see that airplane in the sky!?!" can be a lifesaver! lol Sometimes they just get "stuck" on something and need to be jump started to get out of it.

There's also a saying, HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Most tantrums fit into one of these. Figuring out which one can help you figure out how to solve the problem, or even minimize how often it's happening if you get really good at keeping track of those needs. A lot of the time I'd sit down on the couch and snuggle while we watched a movie (reading a book works too!) when the fits were really bad. Sometimes we'd snuggle and they'd get back up to play and be happy for hours. Sometimes they'd fall asleep while snuggling and wake up in a much better mood. I'd usually throw a snack in too, they're not usually allowed in the living room so it was a novelty and would make sure they weren't hungry and flipping out cuz their blood sugar was low. I never have figured out a quick trick for angry though.

Good luck! Toddlers are awesome little peoples. Exhausting creatures though. lol

[nahkoe]

http://aolff.org/aolff2/

This is an old friend of mine. She was a great help when my older kids were younger. Maybe something there will give you some ideas or at least some reassurance that this is so very normal.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

http://aolff.org/aolff2/

This is an old friend of mine. She was a great help when my older kids were younger. Maybe something there will give you some ideas or at least some reassurance that this is so very normal.

Thanks for sharing the sight.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

Okay, what do Apostolics do when your two year old throws a tantrum? How do we show love to a toddler who wants to always get his way? Maybe we spoil him too much. *shrugs*

Tantrums are usually about getting your attention, and/or trying to force your hand on something. Both ploys are easily foiled by walking away.

Our girls hardly ever threw tantrums, but Jeffrey did try his best a few times. It's very simple--if it's a public tantrum, we leave the public immediately--without whatever it was that was being demanded. IF there were any nice things in the cart prior to the tantrum (other than necessities), they are immediately put back without negotiation.

Children will very quickly learn that tantrums get them nothing. Asking nicely MIGHT get them something, but if it doesn't, a tantrum may cost them something.

If its an at home tantrum, walking away or ignoring it is a good ploy--UNLESS they're upset because you're too busy to listen or respond to a real need. Jeffrey still gets upset if he's talking and the girls interrupt him or finish his sentences for him. That's legitimate, and in those cases, we calm him down, then correct the girls for interrupting, and allow him to continue talking.

But if its the old-fashioned Royale Temper Tantrum, because they don't want to pick up their toys--well, always win those battles.

You know I'm not much of a spanker, so this won't come as a surprise, but I've never spanked my kids for throwing a fit. And none of them have thrown very many. Direct disobedience can earn a spanking, or telling me "No" can earn a swat on the behind. But screaming, kicking, and turning red in the face is just an immature emotional reaction. I've been known to laugh out loud and leave the room.

[jaxfam6]

you need to stick to your guns and remember no matter how bad he acts, NO is still NO. Correct them when they need it. Make them understand what is exceptable behavior and what is not.
If you tell them you are going to do something if they continue then you had better go through with it, so becareful what you tell them you will do.

Oh, and if they act up in a store. Invite everyone over to watch them act up. Then stand back and laugh. Worked for us. =) He stopped acting up in the stores.
Another one that worked was getting the cart full of things that we knew they wanted and they continued to act up and so we left EVERYTHING in the cart and left the store. That sure slowed them down.

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by jaxfam6

you need to stick to your guns and remember no matter how bad he acts, NO is still NO. Correct them when they need it. Make them understand what is exceptable behavior and what is not.
If you tell them you are going to do something if they continue then you had better go through with it, so becareful what you tell them you will do.

Oh, and if they act up in a store. Invite everyone over to watch them act up. Then stand back and laugh. Worked for us. =) He stopped acting up in the stores.
Another one that worked was getting the cart full of things that we knew they wanted and they continued to act up and so we left EVERYTHING in the cart and left the store. That sure slowed them down.

I did that exactly once. The older 3 were old enough to all remember it and the 4th seems to have learned by osmosis. lol

[Truthseeker]

Some tactile stumili works wonders.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Some tactile stumili works wonders.

Tactile stimuli? Care to elaborate?