Do you still believe in Corporal punishment?

[OnTheFritz]

Originally Posted by StMark

It's a sign of rebellion!!!!

I was at least hoping my avatar would offend you.... My wife just saw it and got onto me about it.

[OnTheFritz]

Originally Posted by Sweet Pea

???????????????????? Mark, I do believe that you are delusional!!!!!!

Since I don't participate much on this forum, I don't have a lot of PMs. I just went back and read the ONLY PM you and I have ever exchanged and it was very pleasant. It was regarding standards and I said that I took what you had said about me as a compliment...

So....... feel free to speak to me any time. We may not always agree - but I won't hold that against you! .

I think StMark have actually have that thick-headed issue he was talking about. That would explain a lot.

[StMark]

Originally Posted by Sweet Pea

???????????????????? Mark, I do believe that you are delusional!!!!!!

Since I don't participate much on this forum, I don't have a lot of PMs. I just went back and read the ONLY PM you and I have ever exchanged and it was very pleasant. It was regarding standards and I said that I took what you had said about me as a compliment...

So....... feel free to speak to me any time. We may not always agree - but I won't hold that against you! .

I'm not delusional at all. Without getting into another outright fight
I had started a thread welcoming a certian person back to our state
....is that ringing a bell ??? you told me never to talk to you again.

I didn't forget but okay...hopefully we are on the mend

[Sweet Pea]

Originally Posted by StMark

I'm not delusional at all. Without getting into another outright fight
I had started a thread welcoming a certian person back to our state
....is that ringing a bell ??? you told me never to talk to you again.

I didn't forget but okay...hopefully we are on the mend

I recall the thread, but I don't think any PMs were exchanged. I don't recall telling you not to speak to me - but maybe I did.... I'll have to check that out. Anyway.... everything is cool with me - cool with you?

[StMark]

Originally Posted by Sweet Pea

I recall the thread, but I don't think any PMs were exchanged. I don't recall telling you not to speak to me - but maybe I did.... I'll have to check that out. Anyway.... everything is cool with me - cool with you?

Let me go update the list

[bethola]

Originally Posted by Sweet Pea

I am a firm believer in corporal punishment - NOT "abuse" - but the board of education applied to the seat of understanding.

However, having said that.... I believe that many parents do not use corporal punishment because they fear the government and the amount of control CPS has over children and parents. I stood in the lobby of our church not long ago and heard a SIX YEAR old tell their guardian (not a parent, but a friend watching the child during service) - "stop it - the courts won't let you do that to me". Sad thing is that the adult had simply placed her hand over the child's mouth (not a heavy hand) and told him he couldn't yell out in church like that. He then began yelling "you're killing me - stop it" and then continued with the tirade of "the courts won't let you do that."

A friend proceeded to swat her young son for throwing a fit while in a department store. A stranger came up to her and threatened to call CPS right then and there.

I know of another situation where a stranger did call CPS after a parent has swatted their child for disobedience in a utility company. The stranger obtained the parent's information from the clerk at the counter. CPS showed up at the child's school to question the child regarding the incident.

These incidents are not hearsay - but situations I personally have observed or know as fact. California is in a sad state of affairs when it come to the power given to Child Protective Services and younger parents fear them.

You know I was talking to a friend yesterday who told me that she just learned that in Ohio it is against the law to spank your child with anything other than your hand.

Interesting, since the hand can do quite a lot of damage because it isn't "flexible". Now, my MEMAW and my Aunt Hazel always used a locust switch. It was flexible, but, "keen" and stung like the dickens! LOL

As you can tell, I lived....so did my children. Again, NOT ABUSE, NOT BEATING, but applying negative reinforcement to the rear carriage! LOL

Beth in KY

PS Re previous post. In correcting the OTHER PARENTS children, it was VERBAL and not physical. I would never put my hands on another's child.

[OnenessWoman]

Originally Posted by DerrickS

You just love to amp up the drama... you really think AFF people want a nation like this? I wil say that I don't think it's a bad thing for people to take their children someplace private to discipline them. If nothing else, I think that hitting your kids in public is a little tacky.

Sometimes when kids do things in public it does require a quick swat of a response. However, with my son, I found that giving him "the look" and asking him "the question" usually took care of things because he knew what they meant.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by StMark

I had to run out to the car to get something and heard
the 3 yr old screaming across the street. He was rolling on
the grass throwing a horrible temper tantrum, yelling at
his Father, making demands. It was a site to see !!!

The thing that struck me was the Father's reaction.
He just acted very docile, tried to appease the child,
reason with him,and basically let the kid act out and control
the situation.

Are many Parents today afraid of their kids?? If that was
my father or mother they would have tore by butt up
no Qs asked.

I recently talked to a parent in my church and was
astounded at their liberal views of corporal punishment.
i think they might have read too many Doc. spock books??

I'm not advocating abuse or always whippin' on a kid
for anything, I'm mostly talking about Kids who have
been allowed to take over the household by way of
manipulation


your thoughts on this

Here are the rules my wife and I have chosen to observe when disciplining our son:

1.) Time out system. We warn him sternly, reminding him of a coming time out, counting to 3. Between each count we warn him clearly. If on the third warning he doesn't listen we mercilessly sweep him from whatever he's doing and sit him in a chair. We then ignore him for an entire minute. At first he would get up and we'd just immediately place him back with some force (starting the minute over again) until he learned that he would never be allowed to get up. Today I can sit him down and put my finger in his chest and growl, "You're in TIME OUT. DON'T move." And he will sit there and cry like a beat the daylights out of him. And you'd be amazed...he'll be doing something he shouldn't and we'll tell him to stop...he might ignore us, then we say, "Daddy said stop, if you don't you get a time out, 1." Most of the time he hears the words "time out" and "1" and immediately complies. But on occasion we'll get to "2". And every now an again we get to "3" and sit him down, and he'll cry and sob like crazy. I'm really proud of him. The little dude's going on two years old and when in time out he'll sit where we sit him and while he'll cry...he doesn't move. I have to confess...I was with a few of the guys with kids at church and their kids were being little hellions. My son was being rowdy with them and while other fathers were running, tracking their kid down, and wrestling with their crying child, I jerked Noah up and without even counting to three I sat him in a chair and told him with a low growl, "Your in TIME OUT. DON'T move." And he cried like crazy...but the entire time other dads were wrestling their kids and scolding...my kid sat still sobbing. He's younger than they were and I didn't have to wrestle him or say another word. He sat their for an entire minute and didn't get up until I knelt down and said, "Come to daddy and give me a hug. You know I don't want you running in church. No run." And he huggled me and wiped his eyes...he didn't run again that night. One dad said, "That's great. How old is he?" I said, "He's one and a half." He's kid was about the same age and nearly unmanageable. I was so proud...I was beaming. lol

2.) A firm swat on the hand or on the bottom. If he does something that can injure himself or someone else he gets no privilege of a warning. We immediately give him a stern, "NO!" and *SWAT*. We will firmly smack the hand or the bottom...whichever is most available. We manage him pretty well so it's not very often we have to do this. But we have no issue with doing it when necessary. For example, we were on the porch and I turned my back for a moment. He walked off the porch and down the walk toward the street. Like Flash Gordon I caught up to him, jerked him up by one arm and gave him a SOLID swat right on his bottom, growling, "Don't you EVER walk off the porch!". You'd a thought I beat him silly the way he cried. But so far I've only had to say, "Don't you leave porch." and he stopped cold. A few times I've watched him stand at the steps like he wanted to walk...but bless the little guy...he turned and walked back over to us.

He's only two years old right now. But those are the rules we use at the moment and he's pretty well behaved. We turned to using "time outs" from regular swatting because he started swatting us and other children when they didn't something undesirable. The more we swatted him over it, the more it seemed he'd using hitting when we told him no or when with other children. So I prayed about it and the Lord spoke to my heart and impressed upon me that my boy was too young to understand the cause and effect relationship in relation to our swatting him, the words "controlled confinement" came to my heart. And I talked to my wife about it. She said, "Ah, time outs. I've seen that used and it works on some kids. Let's try it." So far it's worked real well...and he's no longer hitting kids. Sometimes he he'll now shake his finger like we do and say, "No. No. No." lol

We're blessed, he's really a good kid.

[OnenessWoman]

Originally Posted by DerrickS

I was at least hoping my avatar would offend you.... My wife just saw it and got onto me about it.

Does your wife not believe in the right to bear arms??

[gloryseeker]

Originally Posted by StMark

I had to run out to the car to get something and heard
the 3 yr old screaming across the street. He was rolling on
the grass throwing a horrible temper tantrum, yelling at
his Father, making demands. It was a site to see !!!

The thing that struck me was the Father's reaction.
He just acted very docile, tried to appease the child,
reason with him,and basically let the kid act out and control
the situation.

Are many Parents today afraid of their kids?? If that was
my father or mother they would have tore by butt up
no Qs asked.

I recently talked to a parent in my church and was
astounded at their liberal views of corporal punishment.
i think they might have read too many Doc. spock books??

I'm not advocating abuse or always whippin' on a kid
for anything, I'm mostly talking about Kids who have
been allowed to take over the household by way of
manipulation


your thoughts on this

I have two girls (now 19/17). By the time they were two people in our church would come to us and tell us that if we ever needed a babysitter they would gladly watch our children.

We would actually have strangers come up in restaurants and tell us how good our girls are. We have always been consistent in what we say. Our girls learned early what the rules were. The first time they were told, the second time punishment was coming. The result was that we rarely had to ever spank our girls or discipline them in any way. They knew their was no messing around.

We also never "child proofed" our home and never had things broken. Can't say the same when other from the church would visit and bring their kids.

I can honestly say I have never had a problem with either girl. They made a decision not to date and are believing the Lord to bring the right man into their lives. They enjoy their parents and want to be around us. While my oldest decided to go into a ministry internship and is presently finishing her first year. My younger daughter has decided to follow in her sisters steps and will be going into this same ministry internship next year.

I have found that those who don't discipline their children don't do so because they are more interested in how they feel then how their children will turn out. Pastor Rick Renner of the Good News Church of Moscow preached an excellent message on how a person who will not discipline their children actually don't love them.

Anyway...and sorry for being so long -- discipline works!