Grace-Based or Fear-Based Parenting?

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Orthodoxy

Along these same lines, here is another article that has recently been circulating around the web.

It is written specifically for homeschoolers, but applies to every Christian family regardless of educational choice.



Read the rest of the article here.

Much wisdom in this article.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Uncle Joe

I feel it is safest to err on the side of grace. Fear-based parenting only creates a wedge between parent and child. Plus, how we deal with others may be how we get dealt with at the Judgment.

This isn't to say there shouldn't be rules and enforcement of those rules, though.

You GO, Uncle Joe.

[Nitehawk013]

Why is it either/or?

One cannot have grace and fear both in raising a child? a child should know that there is grace for failures, and even for some level of disobediance, but a good healthy level of fear is healthy too. They should know that if they cross some lines or act in outright rebellion or challenge authority they will be meat hard and heavy with correction. They should fear the consequences of horrible behavior.

[AreYouReady?]

Which brings us back to what Amanah says...balance...or moderation in the family.

I too was raised in a fear-based family. We got punished if we "forgot" to do something we were told to do the day before. In fact, I remember the punishment more than I can remember being hugged and told by my father that he loved me. Usually the punishment was far more severe than the "crime" we committed.

It is soooo important for the men to be loving fathers and the head of the family. The men set the ground rules of the home and balance them with love and strength through Christ, imho. The women make the home and add that loving, nurturing touch through Christ.

And Cindy is right. Parents can't stop kids from sinning. We can guide them and tell them they are only hurting themselves if the go against what the Word of God teaches us. My oldest son is one who is hard-headed and has to learn the hard way. But..he doesn't do the same thing twice after he learns the hard way. Basically, he is a good kid.

I also found that kids still need our advice after they grow up. But it's one of those things that we better not say anything until they ask.