“None of us can change our yesterdays but all of us can change our tomorrows.”

[Ron]

This is an insightful thread.
It hits home for me in the sense he talks of our personal upbringing influencing who we are & that we are forced to deal with it and move on.

I am so glad that I have God to help me be a better parent & yes one does need to forgive others-even if they have been dead for decades.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Ron

This is an insightful thread.
It hits home for me in the sense he talks of our personal upbringing influencing who we are & that we are forced to deal with it and move on.

I am so glad that I have God to help me be a better parent & yes one does need to forgive others-even if they have been dead for decades.

So true and not continue to blame that person - you have to deal with it.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Felicity

"Make sure and take ample time to think about what must have been going on in each person's life at the time to make him or her do whatever they did to you. It is important to remember the following truth:

All people (including you) are always doing the best they can to meet their basic needs with the current awareness, knowledge, skills and tools they have at the time. If they could have done better they would have done better. As they develop more awareness of how their behavior affects others, as they learn more effective and less harmful ways to meet their needs, they will behave in less harmful ways.

Think about it. No parent ever wakes up in the morning and says to his or her mate, "I've just figured out three more ways we can screw up our kid." Parents are always doing the best they can to be good parents. But the combination of their own psychological wounds, their lack of knowledge and parenting skills, and the pressures of their lives often converge and create behaviors that hurt us. It was not personal to you. They would have done the same thing to anyone who was in your shoes at that moment. The same is true for everyone else ... all the time."

“Success Principles” --Jack Canfield

I really like this! I know my former mate continues to blame his parents for a lot of his problems - - he needs to take ownership of his part in the problems he has and stop blaming them. It's amazing that he can't see that!

[chosenbyone]

Originally Posted by Felicity

"Some people go through life as if they have a big anchor beyond them, weighing them down. If they could release it, they would be able to move faster and succeed more easily. Perhaps that’s you – holding on to past hurts, past incompletes, past anger or fear. Yet releasing these anchors can often be the final step you need to complete your past and embrace the future."

Great thread, Felicity! I especially like the quote above, because it was so very true. How many people go year after year holding on to junk that happened in their past without seeing how beautiful life would be without having to caring all that resentment and unforgivingness around?

I used to tell people that I walked in forgiveness when they would wonder why I didn't hold a grudge against someone who had perpetrated an offense against me. I thought of how Jesus forgave me for every transgression I had ever made against him. In that light, it was much easier to forgive others for what they had done to me.

Martin Luther King said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude." I really liked that quote and took it to heart.

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by chosenbyone

Great thread, Felicity! I especially like the quote above, because it was so very true. How many people go year after year holding on to junk that happened in their past without seeing how beautiful life would be without having to caring all that resentment and unforgivingness around?

I used to tell people that I walked in forgiveness when they would wonder why I didn't hold a grudge against someone who had perpetrated an offense against me. I thought of how Jesus forgave me for every transgression I had ever made against him. In that light, it was much easier to forgive others for what they had done to me.

Martin Luther King said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude." I really liked that quote and took it to heart.

Great post!

We point the finger at others and there are 4 pointing back at ourselves.

I've chosen to walk in forgiveness. It's an attitude and a choice and the only way to live in my opinion. Life's too short to wallow in resentment, bitterness, deep-seated anger and a "get even - revenge is mine" kind of attitude.

I like this quote..... "For every second you're angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness".

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by Berkeley

Sis.,

I believe that many negative emotions can cause physical ailments. Depression is proven to cause many. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree with you. Harboring bitterness, resentment, etc can become problematic to your physical well being.

It only makes sense really. I remember hearing years ago on some radio talk program that resentment and bitterness can bring on and make physical ailments like arthritis and rheumatism worse. It makes people old before their time. I want to avoid that if I can. Hehe.