How to get over the Greatest Hurt

[missourimary]

Originally Posted by RevDWW

I must decide if I turn the other cheek or strike back.

Ah, the terrible power of choice.......

Did Jesus specify what to do/not to do after we turned the other cheek? Are duck and wallop 'em back options?

[Sister Alvear]

However in the power of choice sometimes we all wonder if we made the right choice...While we all must chose to forgive sometimes those that hurt us stare us in the face day after day...

[Trouvere]

For many the wounds went on day after day and year after year and they were
powerless to change the situation. I find that when I people have been afflicted for
a long time only a miracle from Jesus can heal them. We can pray for them and encourage them but its going to take the power of a surrendered life coupled with the Holy Ghost
and much prayer. Many times these are the people that are hardest to get along with
due to the root of bitterness being so deep. Its especially bad when it happens to someone being raised in the church or married to an abusive partner.
When a child lives with someone who is in the pulpits of our churches and is a hypocrite at home the wounds are harder to uproot. I don't buy the don't keep picking at the scab theory. When I was a hospital nurse working pediatrics I had to give a lot of baths to badly burned children. I would have to give them pain killers and then go back and scrub the scabs off. Some wounds don't heal well with a scab on. The scab will cause them to be bound in one position and they will not be able to use a part of their body as it will be frozen in position. The scab has to be scrubbed off and its very painful and requires someone to do it who knows that the end result will be a good one and though he or she feels empathetic not so sympathetic to the point of not getting the job done.
Many times people need deliverance so badly and don't find it in our churches because the programs are in place and the Holy Ghost is not allowed to
do His job. People are not taught spiritual warfare and how to close doors and be delivered from the vexations that have kept them bound. Its not always the Pastor or elders fault as he or she may not know themselves having not been taught. It gives those who have been taught a greater responsibility to the Church as a whole.
Its a sad thing to have a form of Godliness and deny the power thereof.
The Bible speaks of this. When all we see is a religious spirit in the churches its a sad
day for everyone. Religion is not enough. People need genuine deliverance not another social experience. Many come to Jesus carrying deep hurts and wounds and need deliverance from spirits that have a hold on their minds, bodies and emotions. They keep fighting the same temptations over and over and losing out. We can write them off so easily rather than realizing we are the ones missing something. We need to learn how to help people get delivered and keep delivered. It takes the gifts of the Spirit to identify the problems and if our churches that claim to be Apostolic keep taking the lead and not allowing Jesus to lead then healing will not come.
I travel all over the U.S. and many churches are great praying and soul winning stations but also I have seen many churches don't allow Jesus to have His way. Some just want a small amount of the Spirit of Jesus to do a work and then they shut Him down because they want it to be a one man show or don't allow the gifts to be in operation out of fear or lack of knowledge. Jesus help us all. Its more of a mess than a blessing.
No wonder so many are full of hurts. Some of these things can be removed or sent packing by Jesus using the Church in the gifts.
Lately this has been a cry of my heart. I see so many who need freedom living in bondage claiming they are free but have no joy. I admit that when I preach I have reminded my husband to remind me to smile because I hate the enemy so much and when I see what he is doing to the saints it aggravates me a lot. I want to see joy in
the churches. I want to see the sisters smiling and happy and loving life not weighing
three hundred pounds with a pony tail and not feeling like even being there. We have
to have the joy of Jesus. It should be beaming out of us. Jesus help us all.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I'm not sure we ever detach from a past hurt, but we do have a choice to either learn from it and grow through it, turning it into a positive experience, or grow bitter and angry over it, making it a negative experience. And, even if we start out negatively, after time the experience can be used for growth-and vice versa.
Some hurts are so deep only God can reach them.

Another thing-I've heard people comfort someone saying 'time heals all wounds.' Does it? I don't think so. Time doesn't. God can. But don't expect him to always remove the scars. He is our healer, but oftentimes our scars remind us of lessons learned and victories won if we let them.

Originally Posted by ILG

The greatest hurt of my life happened a number of years ago, which culminated in my husband and I leaving the United Pentecostal Church. We had fought a tremendous battle, were falsely accused repeatedly but continued to fight for those we knew were being abused. In the end, I questioned many times if it were worth it and I would not choose to do it again.

The Lord of the Rings is a tremendous story and when I was quite sick here a little while ago, I watched the whole thing. Sam and Frodo and the others fight a tremendous battle and they are a unique fellowship, one that cannot be understood except by those inside it. They share a unique bond.

In the end, Frodo leaves the shire, telling Sam "We set out to save the shire Sam, and we did.....but not for me".

Those words resonate in my heart. Frodo left with pain, yes, but with a peace and a smile that he knew he was going the right direction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mApx-001wRY

Originally Posted by SeekingOne

I am finding some wounds take a loooong time to heal. I sometimes feel like the pain is getting greater with time instead of better. If it were as simple as forgiving those who inflict the hurt, the pain would end immediately.

If someone could take away the memories of the people I love and can't call or hug, then maybe the hurt would heal. If someone could take away the family members who keep stabbing us again and again, maybe the wounds would heal.

Sometimes I feel like Paul, I prayed several times for the thorn to be removed, but God keeps saying His Grace is sufficient. Some pain we won't understand ever on this earth. Death looks really good sometimes, but God has a call on our lives and we must continue on and fulfill His purpose.

Originally Posted by RevDWW

There comes a time when we have to become responsible for our selves. Not taking blame for hurts inflicted on us by others, but maturing to the point we know we are able to respond to the things that come into our lives.

I must decide if I turn the other cheek or strike back.

Ah, the terrible power of choice.......

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

However in the power of choice sometimes we all wonder if we made the right choice...While we all must chose to forgive sometimes those that hurt us stare us in the face day after day...

Originally Posted by Trouvere

For many the wounds went on day after day and year after year and they were
powerless to change the situation. I find that when I people have been afflicted for
a long time only a miracle from Jesus can heal them. We can pray for them and encourage them but its going to take the power of a surrendered life coupled with the Holy Ghost
and much prayer. Many times these are the people that are hardest to get along with
due to the root of bitterness being so deep. Its especially bad when it happens to someone being raised in the church or married to an abusive partner.
When a child lives with someone who is in the pulpits of our churches and is a hypocrite at home the wounds are harder to uproot. I don't buy the don't keep picking at the scab theory. When I was a hospital nurse working pediatrics I had to give a lot of baths to badly burned children. I would have to give them pain killers and then go back and scrub the scabs off. Some wounds don't heal well with a scab on. The scab will cause them to be bound in one position and they will not be able to use a part of their body as it will be frozen in position. The scab has to be scrubbed off and its very painful and requires someone to do it who knows that the end result will be a good one and though he or she feels empathetic not so sympathetic to the point of not getting the job done.
Many times people need deliverance so badly and don't find it in our churches because the programs are in place and the Holy Ghost is not allowed to
do His job. People are not taught spiritual warfare and how to close doors and be delivered from the vexations that have kept them bound. Its not always the Pastor or elders fault as he or she may not know themselves having not been taught. It gives those who have been taught a greater responsibility to the Church as a whole.
Its a sad thing to have a form of Godliness and deny the power thereof.
The Bible speaks of this. When all we see is a religious spirit in the churches its a sad
day for everyone. Religion is not enough. People need genuine deliverance not another social experience. Many come to Jesus carrying deep hurts and wounds and need deliverance from spirits that have a hold on their minds, bodies and emotions. They keep fighting the same temptations over and over and losing out. We can write them off so easily rather than realizing we are the ones missing something. We need to learn how to help people get delivered and keep delivered. It takes the gifts of the Spirit to identify the problems and if our churches that claim to be Apostolic keep taking the lead and not allowing Jesus to lead then healing will not come.
I travel all over the U.S. and many churches are great praying and soul winning stations but also I have seen many churches don't allow Jesus to have His way. Some just want a small amount of the Spirit of Jesus to do a work and then they shut Him down because they want it to be a one man show or don't allow the gifts to be in operation out of fear or lack of knowledge. Jesus help us all. Its more of a mess than a blessing.
No wonder so many are full of hurts. Some of these things can be removed or sent packing by Jesus using the Church in the gifts.
Lately this has been a cry of my heart. I see so many who need freedom living in bondage claiming they are free but have no joy. I admit that when I preach I have reminded my husband to remind me to smile because I hate the enemy so much and when I see what he is doing to the saints it aggravates me a lot. I want to see joy in
the churches. I want to see the sisters smiling and happy and loving life not weighing
three hundred pounds with a pony tail and not feeling like even being there. We have
to have the joy of Jesus. It should be beaming out of us. Jesus help us all.

These are all good responses. I have found, in my own life, that the things hardest to heal and get over are from the continued in your face hurts.

If someone does something to you one time and asks forgiveness - it is easy to grant and go on, but when the continued abuses and there is no reprieve then it is almost impossible to get over unless you physical and emotionally detach. Unfortunately it causes walls to go up with a "No Trespassing" sign that is guarded by a pit bull.

I tell my clients to allow a window or a break in the wall to allow the hurt to escape and the healing to enter...but it is easier said than done.

Time does not heal all wounds. It just puts them in the recesses of your mind until it is too late to fix them when others die and then NEVER becomes a long time.

Still thinking...

Blessings, Rhoni

[Trouvere]

Sadly I have a friend who after having seen a Christian Counselor was told to go and confront her abuser, who was her father. It did more damage than good. Her father could have cared less that he abused her for years. It just brought up more frustration and emotional problems for the sister. Some will never repent it seems. I also know of someone who went to meet their birth parent. It all but destroyed them. The birth was the result of rape and the person hated meeting them.
Some things only Jesus can take care of.

[simplyme]

I was just reading from a christian doctor about many issues that effect our
health., such as damaging emotions, he suggested that it is far better, to
realize that we have choices, we can CHOOSE to keeping hurting, OR choose to be happier., maybe that sounds cruel, I'm sure that that sounds impossible to some,
but I have found that someone on the outside looking in can see things that
someone on the inside looking out, just canNOT.
It has helped me immensely to listen to those on the outside, (as well as GODs Word)
and CHOOSE to let certain things go., [although it took TIME to just DO it] as GOD forgave me.
Also keeping some distance from certain people that
have hurt me, rather than stick around, for more of the same, has helped as well.

I don't have a psych degree nor am I extraordinarily wise, but I can speak from experience(s) I believe that we can sometimes only share our own personal stories of not only struggles but victories to help others., any victories I've had have been only with His mercy and grace.

Sure, some hurts will never fully go away until we are in His prescence, but focusing on the good things in this life that GOD has blessed us with, is vitally important., isn't there a saying "Love conquers ALL", something like that? Well it CAN become truth IF we let it., LOVE is infinitely stronger than evil.

[Trouvere]

Simply,
Did you read Don Colbert M.D.'s book Deadly Emotions?
I have that book. Sadly he does not advocate deliverance. Sometimes
people cannot just forgive. They desire to forgive but Jesus has
to supernaturally deliver them. I was involved in a meeting a few
weeks ago and one lady was up for prayer and word of Knowledge revealed
what her problem was and named it in her ear(not for the whole room to hear)
and these doors were closed and things cast out and she began to freely
speak in other tongues knowing in her heart that Jesus not only understood
her but saw what she had been through and was healing her of it. For the
first time she went home and slept soundly through the night. She had
been very abused as a child and the person praying for her had no idea
who she was or her past life.
One word from Jesus can do what nothing else can. It can heal us inside and
out.

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by missourimary

Did Jesus specify what to do/not to do after we turned the other cheek? Are duck and wallop 'em back options?

I've heard it said "I'll turn the other cheek, but after that you better be running..." Or "I believe I have enough Holy Ghost to allow you to hit me, but if I don't you're in a world of trouble".....

I have power over my enemies when I understand I decide how to respond and not just react. Quick reactions can get you in trouble, deliberated responses can keep you out of it.

[Pressing-On]

This is how God showed me to get over my greatest hurts. I spoke this message at our ladies prayer meeting this morning.

"Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulatons for you, which is your glory." Eph 3:13

How in the world could tribulations be a glory unto us?

Paul goes on to say, "For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory to be strenghtened with might by his Spirit in the inner man." Eph 3 14-16

The beauty and power of being spirited filled - He strenghtens us in all things.

I once asked the Lord about Matthew 11:28-30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

How can our burdens be easy? How can they be light?

He told me to read I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

That's how they become light - give it to Him.

I was praying for someone the other day and I was so burdened for them, I couldn't sleep. Around 2:00 a.m., the Lord spoke to me, "You must leave your burdens at the altar. It is not good for the body or mind to hang on to such pain."

We have to leave our burdens with Him and TRUST that He is in the affairs of all men. When we see Him do a work in our own life, it is the powerful truth that He IS in the affairs of all men. God is faithful. I think there may be times and some situations where we must come to him a few more times in order to fully leave the load at His feet.

Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there
Leave it there
Leave it there
Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there
If you trust and never doubt
He'll surely bring you out
Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there

[Tina]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

This is how God showed me to get over my greatest hurts. I spoke this message at our ladies prayer meeting this morning.

"Wherefore I desire that ye faint not at my tribulatons for you, which is your glory." Eph 3:13

How in the world could tribulations be a glory unto us?

Paul goes on to say, "For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory to be strenghtened with might by his Spirit in the inner man." Eph 3 14-16

The beauty and power of being spirited filled - He strenghtens us in all things.

I once asked the Lord about Matthew 11:28-30 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

How can our burdens be easy? How can they be light?

He told me to read I Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

That's how they become light - give it to Him.

I was praying for someone the other day and I was so burdened for them, I couldn't sleep. Around 2:00 a.m., the Lord spoke to me, "You must leave your burdens at the altar. It is not good for the body or mind to hang on to such pain."

We have to leave our burdens with Him and TRUST that He is in the affairs of all men. When we see Him do a work in our own life, it is the powerful truth that He IS in the affairs of all men. God is faithful. I think there may be times and some situations where we must come to him a few more times in order to fully leave the load at His feet.

Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there
Leave it there
Leave it there
Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there
If you trust and never doubt
He'll surely bring you out
Take your burdens to the Lord and leave it there

Very good thoughts.

We have to leave things in his hands if we truly want him to take care of anything. If we keep clinging to things, we do ourselves more harm than good. Sometimes we just need to LET GO and Let God.......