How close should a pastor get to the members? - Page 2

Innocuous · #11 12-11-2008, 09:30 AM

I agree w/u MOW. Pastors should be as close as people will allow them to be. As Keith said, sometimes you get burned. Yeah, I know. I've been burned too. But it's worth the risk. A shepherd needs to be in amongst the sheep, not shepherding from his front porch.

Steve Epley · #12 12-11-2008, 09:33 AM

Be friendly and approachable but not their buddy.

Kings Kid · #13 12-11-2008, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

I've heard it said for decades (in certain orgs) that a pastor should not get close to the "saints." I've been around long enough, (Sr. pastor for 25yrs) to see the chasm this philosophy creates. It makes an almost untouchable ministry. It sets the ministry up so high that hardly anyone can get there. It makes the ministry a "caste" to itself. It creates "ministry only" seating and preferred perks. It creates an entitlement mentality. It promotes the ministry preaching one thing and then when they're out of town, doing another. In some circles, the pastor would NEVER even consider taking out a family for dinner or inviting them over for some laughs.

Why do pastors NEED a place only for themselves that the members never get to? Is it maybe, just maybe because they don't love the sheep as much as they portray that they do? (food for thought)

If the pastor is isolated to whatever degree, how in the world can he replicate himself? Oh wait, maybe he does.......... in the ministers he raises up. He raises them up to do the same thing!

And if someone can marry into the pastors family.............Lord have mercy, they've hit the lottery!!!! They "escaped" the lower caste!!

The greatest compliment I think I have ever received as a pastor was that I "smelled" like the sheep. Pastors should desire to create an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance and accesability which can be imparted to the rest of the church. What could happen with an "army" of people like that in a community?

Just some rambling thoughts!

I agree with you. I believe that a pastor that follows this model creates a very unhealthly church that does not trust their pastor.

ManOfWord · #14 12-11-2008, 09:59 AM

Like others, I, too, have been burned. When that happens, there is a tendency to say, "I'll NEVER let that happen again!" And the pain is all too real from a "betrayal." However, if we isolate ourselves, we'll never make a difference in their lives......at least not to the degree that we could, anyway.

If you can't deal with rejection, then you'd better get OUT of the ministry....plain and simple. But people need someone they know cares and not from a distance. I well know the "old time" philosophy, but it doesn't work! Well, it does work, but only for the pastor. And that is why some churches remain small and never will grow. You can't pastor or shepherd from the other side of the fence. You have to be where the sheep are to really be able to feed, protect, love and nurture them!

I've not seen familiarity breeding contempt, or discontent. I cannot guarantee that ANY relationship will turn out right. I'm not going to be inappropriate with the opposite sex, but I hug EVERYBODY @ NLC. I truly love them and am glad to see them when they attend whether they're there every Sunday or rarely. I NEVER give someone a hard time about their church attendance.

I think it's time for pastors to take off their "crowns" and "royal" garb and get with the sheep!

rgcraig · #15 12-11-2008, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

Be friendly and approachable but not their buddy.

Can you explain why you feel that way?

Ritamuffin57 · #16 12-11-2008, 10:04 AM

I've been in Pentecost all of my life. I come from a family which includes Home Bible Study teachers, soulwinners, musicians, and licensed ministry. My grown children, both in ministry, are fourth generation Pentecost. This is a tedious subject. I will say that the most productive churches in my observation, that is to say building individuals as well as church building, are led by a man of God who is real. He and the people know his office and respect that, but on the human level, he is humble, approachable and listens without favoritism to friends. There are those close to me who have been nearly mortally wounded due to emotionally reactive leadership, and some who have never reached their potential because things were believed about them just are not true. Keeping in mind that we all have flaws, the mantle of ministry should make one all the more aware of responsibility and accountability for their care of the flock. On a parting note, their are some awesome pastors and great lay ministry out there and we have also known some of the best of these.

ManOfWord · #17 12-11-2008, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ritamuffin57

I've been in Pentecost all of my life. I come from a family which includes Home Bible Study teachers, soulwinners, musicians, and licensed ministry. My grown children, both in ministry, are fourth generation Pentecost. This is a tedious subject. I will say that the most productive churches in my observation, that is to say building individuals as well as church building, is a man of God who is real. He and the people know his office and respect that, but on the human level, he is humble, approachable and listens without favoritism to friends. There are those close to me who have been nearly mortally wounded due to emotionally reactive leadership, and some who have never reached their potential because things were believed about them just are not true. Keeping in mind that we all have flaws, the mantle of ministry should make one all the more aware of responsibility and accountability for their care of the flock. On a parting note, their are some awesome pastors and great lay ministry out there and we have also known some of the best of these.

Well said! I didn't think I was that far off base!

Carpenter · #18 12-11-2008, 10:10 AM

Right on MOW.

If pastors would STOP (as a matter of culture) putting themselves in a position where people would WANT to gravitate toward power, maybe there would be fewer problems.

I love these pastors (situations) where the pastor is a regular guy, people call him by his first name, Pastor Dan, etc. Instead of someone standing behind a desk proclaiming himself as the do all and end all of spiritual authority and the only recipient of divine revelation and sovereign power, maybe just maybe it would behoove themselves to just be a regular guy.

Many people are afraid of the pastor...afraid to approach him, affraid to show weakness, afraid to land on his bad side, afraid afraid afraid (then of course there is the ignorant and numb at the opposite end of the spectrum who wake the poor guy up in the middle of the night to ask if it is a sin to have a red light bulb in their porch light).

No wonder pastors have nervous breakdowns, heart attacks, depression, and all other manner of health issues.

Me thinks that home missions pastors do not have this problem, you know why? The working man identifies with the working man.

Carpenter · #19 12-11-2008, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Can you explain why you feel that way?

I think he means that you need to be the pastor's friend but not his dog...and vice versa of course...ya know, the reference to Buddy?

Dunno, just speculating here.

rgcraig · #20 12-11-2008, 10:13 AM

As mentioned, I believe you have to be careful to not show favoritism, but I believe an effective pastor is one that is real and "smells like the sheep".

I believe the ministry needs to be respected, but they aren't our priests - - the saints have direct contact with God too and are "called in their ministry". Elevating a minister to a higher level than any other child of God is an easy set up for disappointment.