The Husband is the Head of the Wife

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Contributing is kinda the blame, IMO. I wouldn't blame my husband if I didn't take care of him and someone else wanted to because I know it is what I need to and want to do.

What if you are taking care of him, yet he has a insatiable desire? Would you blame him then?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

That's not what I was explaining......re-read it.

I was focusing on the abuse. He sounds like an idiot.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I was focusing on the abuse. He sounds like an idiot.

Lol...basically.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

What if you are taking care of him, yet he has a insatiable desire? Would you blame him then?

He's into porn and yes I would. If I was sincerely taking care of him and not just going through the motions because both can tell, yes, I would blame him.

I also wouldn't let him ever touch me again for fear of STD's. If we worked it out and he got checked, then I would be O.K.

Just random thoughts. Who knows what anyone would do? I think my husband would be afraid of murder and wouldn't ever try it. I would first of all rip the house apart and then start on him.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

It's been years of it and she's had all she can handle. Promises to change, get help, does for a couple months, reverts back....not a good situation at all.

There is a book I very often recommend to my clients to read. It is called Women Who Love Too Much. It is about relationship recovery. (Meaning either recovering from a bad relationship or trying to recover the relationship.) It's written by Robin Norwood. In it are 10 steps that a woman can do to try and better things. A woman can do this in the relationship or outside of it. I find that some Christian women are at their wits end and have tried and tried and have no idea what to do except file for a divorce. Sometimes, if a woman puts these steps into place *while* in the relationship it can change her relationship simply because she is learning healthy ways to relate. I wanted to give this out as another option. Of course, a woman should make sure that she feels safe in trying these steps as trying them will often make him mad as it will bring them into "unsafe" relationship territory. If he is so physically abusive that she can't try these things safely in the relationship that definately has to be considered. Just a few ideas...either for her or anybody else who may be interested. I don't assess danger levels or make decisions for anybody....just give options. So this is a disclaimer. Any woman who is in a physically abusive situation needs to think about her safety and the children's safety FIRST.

[Scott Hutchinson]

My wife is wonderful,I can't blame her with anything as she is a real sweetheart.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by ILG

There is a book I very often recommend to my clients to read. It is called Women Who Love Too Much. It is about relationship recovery. (Meaning either recovering from a bad relationship or trying to recover the relationship.) It's written by Robin Norwood. In it are 10 steps that a woman can do to try and better things. A woman can do this in the relationship or outside of it. I find that some Christian women are at their wits end and have tried and tried and have no idea what to do except file for a divorce. Sometimes, if a woman puts these steps into place *while* in the relationship it can change her relationship simply because she is learning healthy ways to relate. I wanted to give this out as another option. Of course, a woman should make sure that she feels safe in trying these steps as trying them will often make him mad as it will bring them into "unsafe" relationship territory. If he is so physically abusive that she can't try these things safely in the relationship that definately has to be considered. Just a few ideas...either for her or anybody else who may be interested. I don't assess danger levels or make decisions for anybody....just give options. So this is a disclaimer. Any woman who is in a physically abusive situation needs to think about her safety and the children's safety FIRST.

I appreciate this and will get it for a couple ladies that I'm talking with now.

However, in this case, I believe she actually fears for her life (he has bad temper), so it's time to move on.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by ILG

There is a book I very often recommend to my clients to read. It is called Women Who Love Too Much. It is about relationship recovery. (Meaning either recovering from a bad relationship or trying to recover the relationship.) It's written by Robin Norwood. In it are 10 steps that a woman can do to try and better things. A woman can do this in the relationship or outside of it. I find that some Christian women are at their wits end and have tried and tried and have no idea what to do except file for a divorce. Sometimes, if a woman puts these steps into place *while* in the relationship it can change her relationship simply because she is learning healthy ways to relate. I wanted to give this out as another option. Of course, a woman should make sure that she feels safe in trying these steps as trying them will often make him mad as it will bring them into "unsafe" relationship territory. If he is so physically abusive that she can't try these things safely in the relationship that definately has to be considered. Just a few ideas...either for her or anybody else who may be interested. I don't assess danger levels or make decisions for anybody....just give options. So this is a disclaimer. Any woman who is in a physically abusive situation needs to think about her safety and the children's safety FIRST.

Good post, ILG. The book sounds excellent.

We have relationships with varying degrees of problems. Just plain lazy and not taking care of each other and abuse - and all that is between.

Whew - life!

[Pressing-On]

Well, enjoyed the conversation. My loving husband just walked in the door - early for once in months! Have a great evening, ladies!!!!

[Scott Hutchinson]

PO is it kissy kissy time?