Whaaaaaaatt???? What's happening in Canada??

[TrueNorth]

An Ottawa Senators hockey fan was driving home from work and he passed by a local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off.

On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road; on closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. Now the driver hated the Maple Leafs and suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the Maple Leafs fan jumped out of the way. The driver of the car heard a bang but he was sure he'd missed him.

The two men proceeded to the church in silence and the Ottawa Senators fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I don't know what came over me, can you forgive me father?"

The Priest replied "Of course I can forgive you my son; I got him with the car door."

[TrueNorth]

Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Canadiens fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for the Great Montreal Canadiens!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Edmonton Oilers fan threw himself off the mountain shouting "This is for the Oilers!"

Seeing this, the Ottawa Senators fan walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Toronto Maple Leafs fan off the side of the mountain.

[TopDog]

A young boy was in court as part of a custody hearing. His mother had just divorced his abusive father. The judge asked the little boy if he wants to stay with his mother.

The little guys sobs and says - "no, no she beats me too"!

The judge is quite surprised and asks the little guys if he'd like to live with auntie Barbara who's in the courtroom.

He starts sobbing again and says - no, no, no, she hit me with a belt once"!

The judge - at this point a little exasperated says " well Johnny who would you like to go and live with?"

Little Johnny quickly replies - "I want to go and live with the Edmonton Oilers".

Surprised the judge asks "Why?"

Johnny replies, still half sobbing, "because the Oilers can't beat anyone!"

[ALVIN]

What do the Blue Jays, Raptors, Argonauts, and Maple Leafs all have in common?


















None of them can play hockey. 2

[Maple Leaf]

A Canadian hockey fan, an American fan and a Swedish fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled case of alcohol. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said:

"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The American fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the American fan crying.

The Canadian fan was the last one up (he had finished off the case), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your Royal highness", the Canadian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the American fan to my back so he can get whooped again."

[ALVIN]

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
• Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)
• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• Canadians Sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
• Italian Cars won't start.
• Canadians drive with the windows down.

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
• Distilled water freezes
• Canadian water get thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)
• Hollywood disintegrates.
• Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
• The lake of fire freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

[Felicity]

Originally Posted by Broken

Must have been a "wicked" experience

Very!

I've been having a "wicked" time for the past few days actually. Seriously ...... it's been wonderful.

[Barb]

Originally Posted by Felicity

Very!

I've been having a "wicked" time for the past few days actually. Seriously ...... it's been wonderful.

Glad you're having a great time...!!

[Maple Leaf]

Dear Friends:


Today, I went to Summer Summit for the first time in years.


Did I see D&J there? Nope!


Did I see TripleE there? Nope!


Did I see Wally there? Nope!


Did I see SecretPlace there? Nope!


Did I see Pelet there? Nope!


Did I see Destiny there? Nope!


Did I see SisM there? Nope!


Did I see Frank there? Nope!


Who did I see there?


Why, I saw Felicity at the Summer Summit. That's who I saw there.


Felicity was as fashionable as ever: fashionably late (Of the 130 people there, she was the 125th to arrive); and fashionably attired (Her walker matched her outfit perfectly).

[Barb]

Originally Posted by Maple Leaf

Dear Friends:


Today, I went to Summer Summit for the first time in years.


Did I see D&J there? Nope!


Did I see TripleE there? Nope!


Did I see Wally there? Nope!


Did I see SecretPlace there? Nope!


Did I see Pelet there? Nope!


Did I see Destiny there? Nope!


Did I see SisM there? Nope!


Did I see Frank there? Nope!


Who did I see there?


Why, I saw Felicity at the Summer Summit. That's who I saw there.


Felicity was as fashionable as ever: fashionably late (Of the 130 people there, she was the 125th to arrive); and fashionably attired (Her walker matched her outfit perfectly).

Ooooh, are you gonna be in trouble....