Love Everybody

[Ron]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I like what Tim Gill tweeted the other day:

"Telling the truth in anger doesn't diminish truth, just the credibility of the speaker."

There are couple of quandaries that come up when people don't show love to one another--even when speaking *hard* truths. First, those who are trying to appear loving feel pressured to not speak up at all in certain situations lest they be associated with those who aren't speaking the truth in love. Secondly, when you speak the same truth in love that another spoke in anger, you run the risk (again) of guilt by association.

My Dad drilled this into me: If you say you love God, but you don't love your brother, you're a liar. (I John)

If I have to err, I would prefer to err on the side of grace and love than on the side of causing offense or provoking someone to anger.

MissB, while I agree with this post in principle, when one gets online, the line can become blurry.
I have thought at times people post in anger & that wasn't the case.
The only way one can know for sure is in person.
Another thing is this, my Pastor may seem to be preaching in anger (is that a right term?) but in reality he is angry at the "world system' such as pornography, the gay encroachment in our schools, the fact that people are getting into trouble with drugs & bad relationships.
Would that be considered within the context of that quote?

Just asking for clarification.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Ron

MissB, while I agree with this post in principle, when one gets online, the line can become blurry.
I have thought at times people post in anger & that wasn't the case.
The only way one can know for sure is in person.
Another thing is this, my Pastor may seem to be preaching in anger (is that a right term?) but in reality he is angry at the "world system' such as pornography, the gay encroachment in our schools, the fact that people are getting into trouble with drugs & bad relationships.
Would that be considered within the context of that quote?

Just asking for clarification.

Speaking for me, attitude means a lot. If my attitude is wrong it will come out of my mouth. And not just when I am angry. And I do have to hold myself accountable for what I say. Even if it's true, I don't always have to tell it. I try not to be a right fighter with my husband, sometimes I don't succeed.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Ron

MissB, while I agree with this post in principle, when one gets online, the line can become blurry.
I have thought at times people post in anger & that wasn't the case.
The only way one can know for sure is in person.
Another thing is this, my Pastor may seem to be preaching in anger (is that a right term?) but in reality he is angry at the "world system' such as pornography, the gay encroachment in our schools, the fact that people are getting into trouble with drugs & bad relationships.
Would that be considered within the context of that quote?

Just asking for clarification.

I can't speak for Tim Gill, but to answer your question for myself: It's fine to speak strongly or emphatically. You don't have to talk softly in order to speak something in "love." It's more about being civil and speaking out against sin rather than attacking the sinner or a person. Speak the truth in love; be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. What do those instructions mean to you? They're just as much part of scripture as the "thou shalt nots."

[Ron]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Speaking for me, attitude means a lot. If my attitude is wrong it will come out of my mouth. And not just when I am angry. And I do have to hold myself accountable for what I say. Even if it's true, I don't always have to tell it. I try not to be a right fighter with my husband, sometimes I don't succeed.

Or a wife!
Tell you the truth, while I have awesome kids, my oldest is at the age & mature enough that we can sit down & have different conversations with her.
While she knows as long as she lives in the house, she is under our authority, but she also would like explanations as to "why!" And that is good.
It also means my littlle baby girl is growing up!

[Ron]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I can't speak for Tim Gill, but to answer your question for myself: It's fine to speak strongly or emphatically. You don't have to talk softly in order to speak something in "love." It's more about being civil and speaking out against sin rather than attacking the sinner or a person. Speak the truth in love; be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove. What do those instructions mean to you? They're just as much part of scripture as the "thou shalt nots."

I agree! Thanks.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Ron

Or a wife!
Tell you the truth, while I have awesome kids, my oldest is at the age & mature enough that we can sit down & have different conversations with her.
While she knows as long as she lives in the house, she is under our authority, but she also would like explanations as to "why!" And that is good.
It also means my littlle baby girl is growing up!

Yep

Oh, and I will be praying for y'all to survive the teenage years.

[Ron]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Yep

Oh, and I will be praying for y'all to survive the teenage years.

Thanks! I also have to be good to her as she is the oldest & will be choosing my nursing home!

[not4saken]

Originally Posted by Ron

Or a wife!
Tell you the truth, while I have awesome kids, my oldest is at the age & mature enough that we can sit down & have different conversations with her.
While she knows as long as she lives in the house, she is under our authority, but she also would like explanations as to "why!" And that is good.
It also means my littlle baby girl is growing up!

This statement caused me to chuckle. I was raised with the old "BECAUSE ITS IN THE BIBLE, THAT'S WHY"...but when I would push further and ask for scripture- I got the old, "YOU ARE BEING REBELLIOUS- YOU NEED TO GO PRAY! MAYBE GOD WILL CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE."

When I had my girls, I ALWAYS told them 'why' I was training them the way that I was, and if something was NOT scriptual, I explained why I believed that my way was best for them.

GOOD LUCK, BRO!!!

[Ron]

Originally Posted by not4saken

This statement caused me to chuckle. I was raised with the old "BECAUSE ITS IN THE BIBLE, THAT'S WHY"...but when I would push further and ask for scripture- I got the old, "YOU ARE BEING REBELLIOUS- YOU NEED TO GO PRAY! MAYBE GOD WILL CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE."

When I had my girls, I ALWAYS told them 'why' I was training them the way that I was, and if something was NOT scriptual, I explained why I believed that my way was best for them.

GOOD LUCK, BRO!!!

I have taught them that for example when they go to school & get asked, "why do you only wear skirts & dress's & why do you never cut your hair? The answer can't be, because mom & dad said so or Pastor said so ain't gonna cut it.
I want them to know scripture, context, & history.
As for relationships, we told them that they need to establish boundaries--now.
They also need to give serious relationships & tirn on the back burner & concentrate on God & school first.
Everything else will fall into place in due time!

[bbyrd009]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

Perhaps what Bbyrd is trying to say....and he can correct me if I am wrong...is that even though birds of a feather flock together...no two people think exactly the same way.

For those who enjoy the company with a certain crowd, they dare not voice anything contrary to the 'belief system' in that particular crowd lest they lose being a part of that crowd.

Saying I'm sorry for being judgmental towards a woman who bobs her hair might go a long way, even if they still believe that way.

Incidentally, I've never heard of any man losing sleep over a woman (who is not his wife) going to hell because they bobbed their hair.

Yup, pretty much...sorry I can't get here more often, firefox hates either me or this site. I did mean that a woman who is able to declare that she has prejudices against bobbed hair mostly because she was raised hearing that, and with no further justification, is received as more open-minded than someone who could not make this declaration; which seems strange on its face--a declaration of close-mindedness leading to a conclusion of the opposite.