the answer is because culturally it's considered inappropriate contact.... and you wouldn't even see same gender hug one another in my culture unless they are family or extremely, extremely, extremly close friends. That invasion of personal space, and gesture of familiarity is one for only those within the closest of circles.... at least that's the rule of thumb for the culture I am from, and pretty much so for the culture I live in now. Has nothing to do with lust or sex, it's just personal space and familiarity, and appropriateness of expression.
So are we discussing ethnic culture or is there actually a religious culture to which you are referring and if so what religion would that be? I mean I am from Mexican descent, I hit a pinata on birthdays because it's a cultural thing... but hugging seems pretty universal.
Seems to me that since even babies hug it is something that must be 'unlearned' if we are not going to do it... And if we do not hug, why do we only not hug one gender? Why not forsake hugging everyone?
This reminds me of a story where a pastor noticed that another pastor was getting hugs while he only got handshakes. Out of curiosity, the pastor asked the other pastor why when people approach him they want a hug, but when the same people approached him they only want a handshake?
"It's easy", said the first pastor. When people approach you, you hold out your hand. When they approach me, I hold out BOTH hands!
__________________ Words: For when an emoticon just isn't enough.
So are we discussing ethnic culture or is there actually a religious culture to which you are referring and if so what religion would that be? I mean I am from Mexican descent, I hit a pinata on birthdays because it's a cultural thing... but hugging seems pretty universal.
Seems to me that since even babies hug it is something that must be 'unlearned' if we are not going to do it... And if we do not hug, why do we only not hug one gender? Why not forsake hugging everyone?
How about you read my post thoroughly??? I didn't say just one gender... I said also among the same gender that it's not considered appropriate to hug the same gender unless they are very, very, very, very, very close in relationship because of personal space and familiarity perceptions. This to hug or not to hug really doesn't matter on the gender in the culture I was raised in.... and we're talking more of a geographical culture in the appalachian area I was raised in, and additionally the church culture I live in now.
How about you read my post thoroughly??? I didn't say just one gender... I said also among the same gender that it's not considered appropriate to hug the same gender unless they are very, very, very, very, very close in relationship because of personal space and familiarity perceptions. This to hug or not to hug really doesn't matter on the gender in the culture I was raised in.... and we're talking more of a geographical culture in the appalachian area I was raised in, and additionally the church culture I live in now.
Guess the both genders got lost in your saying you would not hug your pastor if she were a woman???
Anywho... that's a lot of verys... you seem annoyed, I was only curious... Not like your not hugging affects my life any... I am still getting my hugs without you just fine
When I attended the UPCI church in Okinawa, a smaller, military-oriented church, hugging of the Pastor and his wife was not a big deal for this single guy.
Fast forward to NC, AL, MD, and FL-- hugging the Pastor was awkward and hugging the Pastor's wife was simply unacceptable. There was a vibe or something that they put off that let you know, this far but no further.
I went to visit my last Pastor and hugging him was not awkward-- but now I'm not a member there. I still miss him.
The other Apostolic churches I've attended hugging of the Pastor or his wife just didn't happen, to include my Dad's church.
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"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
Last edited by Jermyn Davidson; 08-07-2012 at 07:55 AM.
Ive always wondered why this practice of hugging doesnt seem to be the norm. I think alot of pastors and wives just seem untouchable and superior acting to the saints but maybe Im way off base. First and formost, they are saints just like all of us.
When I attended the UPCI church in Okinawa, a smaller, military-oriented church, hugging of the Pastor and his wife was not a big deal for this single guy.
Fast forward to NC, AL, MD, and FL-- hugging the Pastor was awkward and hugging the Pastor's wife was simply unacceptable. There was a vibe or something that they put off that let you know, this far but no further.
I went to visit my last Pastor and hugging him was not awkward-- but now I'm not a member there. I still miss him.
The other Apostolic churches I've attended hugging of the Pastor or his wife just didn't happen, to include my Dad's church.
Who was your pastor when you attended in Okinawa?
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
My original pastor never would have allowed that. He was super conservative that way. You never hugged a person of the opposite sex you were not married to. Quite a bit of divorce in that church. Which came first, the chicken or the egg. Just sayin'.
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Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
Just wondering, this rule some have against opposite-sex hugs, well, what if you're gay? What if the other one is gay? What if you don't know if he or she is gay?
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty
Just wondering, this rule some have against opposite-sex hugs, well, what if you're gay? What if the other one is gay? What if you don't know if he or she is gay?
This is not an issue with those who have those rules because nobody is really gay. Didn't you know that?
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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