A Lost Little Lamb

[deacon blues]

Sherry was a beautiful young lady as I remember her in my mind. We grew up together in church, she a little bit older by a year or two as I recall. I remember her being smart, brilliant actually. When we would have Bible competitions she was always one of the best. She sang in the youth choir and never missed a church service or youth function. When our church started a Bible Quiz Team, she was one of the ones who excelled.

Her mother was a single mom. She had two brothers who were older and always seemed rough, long hair (a real sign of a backslidden state, in the 70s especially), sneaking around smoking behind the church, slipping out of service to get into mischief. Mom couldnt seem to control those boys. I remember Sherry talking about going to see her dad. Her dad occasionally came to church events, a Christmas musical, a dinner, something his kids were involved in. I vaguely remember what he looked like.

Sherry's mom never seemed to be a joyful Christian. She complied with the dress codes of the church and looked the part when it came to her hair and attire, but as far as a victorious, happy, loving Christian, not so much. I can still see her with a kind of hard, stern scowl she always seemed to wear. When and if she smiled, it almost seemed like unfamiliar territory to her face.

By the time I could really grasp people were "out of church" or "backslidden" Sherry's brothers were on their way out and then eventually gone. I don't know if they came of age and moved out or if they chose in their older teen years to go live with dad or what. I just remember for a while it was just Sherry and her mom coming to church.

I remember Sherry's mom being hard on her. She was condemning, critical, and flat out mean. In fact Sherry's mom got remarried to real nice guy who was a divorced man who worked with my dad and got saved. Sherry's mom seemed like a new person. Harold was handsome, funny, loved to laugh and had a great personality. The marriage lasted less than a year and Harold found a different church to attend. He would ask my dad occasionally at work "How's the Wicked Witch of the West doing?"

I began to notice Sherry kind of rebelling. I can remember smelling smoke on her at times at church. I heard about boyfriends that weren't nice guys. I don't remember Sherry being too involved in church or coming to too much after we all hit high school years. It seemed she was following the same path trailblazed by her brothers years before.

I got busy growing up, having fun in school with my friends, dating, going to church, youth group, church camp, living in my healthy, happy and secure home planning for my future, going to Bible school, following my call to ministry, starting my ministry and serving the Kingdom. I don't recall thinking of Sherry much or wondering what happened to her outside of seeing her mother faithfully plugging away service after service, year after year. I would occasionally ask her about Sherry and her boys but the report was never good, always critical, always negative. So I'm sure after a while I just quit asking. In fact you just kind of avoid that kind of person at church.

A couple of years ago Sherry sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted. She sent me a private message greeting me and telling me she lived in Tennessee too, but in a whole other part of the state. She had a five year old boy. She was excited about getting reacquainted with folks from her church years. After some small talk she confessed to me that she was an alcoholic and wanted me to pray for her. She said her life was very tough, most of it stemming from the drinking. I was saddened by the news, I tried to encourage her, I tried to point her to grace, to not be deceived by the notion that God obsesses over our attire and all of the nit picky things her mother constantly railed on her about as well as others. She said she knew that Jesus loved her and that she wouldn't be alive if not for His grace. I told her I'd pray for her.

A week later she wrote and said all was well and she had quit drinking and that life was better and thanks for the prayers, blah, blah, blah. Addicts often do this. They pour out their soul, they get honest and transparent. Then they back track and try to assure you all is alright, they've turned the corner, etc. I responded positively and encouraged continued progress.

I would see her occasionally on FB but we didn't message each other again for a couple of years. Then the other day I got a desperate message. Sherry contacted me to inform me she was dying. She was on 24 hour oxygen. She was confined to a motorized scooter to get around. She sent her phone number, asked if I would please call.

I did. She began to share the disharmony of her present circumstances. Her now 7 year old son had been taken from her some time back because she got arrested for fighting with her boyfriend in public. She loved the boy dearly, even though he was the product of a rape (gasp), her electric was getting turned off, she needed $132.00 and was wanting help from me but it was okay she got some help elsewhere. The longer she talked about the mess her life had become my mind became overwhelmed at the complexity. My heart sank, my chest felt heavy and several times my eyes welled with tears. I finally interrupted Sherry and asked her if I could pray for her right now. She received the offer. I stepped outside onto the patio of the coffee shop where I was and prayed. At the end of the prayer she thanked me, I encouraged her that she could depend on the Lord and that the Body of Christ was here to help her.

As I was praying I could see the blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl in my Junior Sunday School class. I could see her young and innocent full of promise and potential. I thought of all the scriptures she'd memorized. I thought of the worship experiences and touches of God upon her life. I thought of her singing in children's choirs and youth choirs. I thought about how tragic her life had become. I thought about a mean-spirited mother who never seemed to understand God's love and grace and one who never transferred that into her children's lives. I thought about a church culture that emphasized outward appearance and emotional experiences with very little discipleship and mentoring and teaching on how to become mature and rooted in Gods love.

I know Sherry will have to answer to God for her decisions as an individual. None of us can blame anyone for not serving God. God is good to us and loves us so that no matter what happens to us we are able to see His goodness and discern at least a measure of His grace in our lives.

But what a sad, sad story. And hearing her plight reminded me of how tragic and pitiful we all are. I certainly didn't consider her messy life without considering my own. We are all little lambs who've lost our way. We have all gone astray, we have, everyone, turned to our own ways. Some individuals seem more desperate, others are certainly in more dire circumstances. But we are all in a sense in a terrible position like Sherry. And stories like Sherry serve to remind us of the gruesomeness of sin and it's consequences. It serves to remind us that legalism can't save us.

There is only one way, one truth, one life: Jesus Christ. And only through the power of the Gospel and our full fledged faith in the Cross and the Blood of Jesus do any of us have any hope. I'm thankful the Lord laid on Jesus the iniquity of us all---yours, mine and Sherry's.

If you think about it in the days and weeks to come, say a prayer for Sherry---a lost little lamb.

And if you don't mind, say a prayer for me too...I need the Savior just as much to come and rescue me...