Just Trying to Be a Good Father

Originally Posted by rgcraig

That is cool and I believe a great way to instill good lesson in those normal boys....not to mention the bonding time when you were making those paper hornets (cheating thought with the BB's)!!!!!

We just made paper footballs - - never heard of the paper hornets!

Originally Posted by philjones

Where are you from (never heard of paper hornets) some yankee place like Arkansas?

Brother Jones.... I never heard of paper hornets either and you know where I was born and raised!!

[StillStanding]

RECENTLY OVERHEARD CONVERSATION

School Principal : You boys sit there and be still while I try to reach your paw!

(Grabs phone and dials)

Coonskinner: Praise the Lord! You’ve reached the Coonskinner residence! How can I bless you today?

School Principal: Your youngins have been caught flinging deadly weapons at other students today. Little Stevie and Suzie have giant whelps on their arms, legs, and head! It seems they were harmlessly propelling paper hornets, when incoming paper hornets weighted with BBs wrapped in duct tape caused maximum damage!

I asked the boys where they had learn the art of manufacturing these deadly weapons, and after a long pause they said, “PAW!”

Coonskinner : Please let me explain! I was just making sure that IF the boys were getting in a paper hornet exchange, they needed to play to win! I made them aware of the consequences of their action, and I’m sure they’re ready to accept their punishment.

School Principal: Where did you learn to manufacture paper hornets with such deadly force?

Coonskinner: Let’s just say that as a young lad, I had to be creative to protect my family honor.

School Principal: Oh brother! Anyways, your boys were seen leaning over their fallen classmates and praying for God to heal them! You know that prayer is not allowed in public schools don’t you?

[OGIA]

Originally Posted by Pianoman

Anyways, your boys were seen leaning over their fallen classmates and praying for God to heal them! You know that prayer is not allowed in public schools don’t you?

Originally Posted by Apostolic Kitty

Brother Jones.... I never heard of paper hornets either and you know where I was born and raised!!

Well yankee's and subterraneans are very, very similar!

J/K J/K

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pianoman

RECENTLY OVERHEARD CONVERSATION

School Principal : You boys sit there and be still while I try to reach your paw!

(Grabs phone and dials)

Coonskinner: Praise the Lord! You’ve reached the Coonskinner residence! How can I bless you today?

School Principal: Your youngins have been caught flinging deadly weapons at other students today. Little Stevie and Suzie have giant whelps on their arms, legs, and head! It seems they were harmlessly propelling paper hornets, when incoming paper hornets weighted with BBs wrapped in duct tape caused maximum damage!

I asked the boys where they had learn the art of manufacturing these deadly weapons, and after a long pause they said, “PAW!”

Coonskinner : Please let me explain! I was just making sure that IF the boys were getting in a paper hornet exchange, they needed to play to win! I made them aware of the consequences of their action, and I’m sure they’re ready to accept their punishment.

School Principal: Where did you learn to manufacture paper hornets with such deadly force?

Coonskinner: Let’s just say that as a young lad, I had to be creative to protect my family honor.

School Principal: Oh brother! Anyways, your boys were seen leaning over their fallen classmates and praying for God to heal them! You know that prayer is not allowed in public schools don’t you?

PM.....that is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IAintMovin]

Originally Posted by Just a Shepherd

I still don't see it Phil. I understand what you are saying and I see the nostalgia in wanting the Mayberry, Opie with a slingshot mentality but the Bible commands us to instruct our children to obey them that have the rule over you.

The rule is fundamental to the order and discipline of the school and in place to ensure that everyone's safety is regarded. Teaching kids to disregard the rule, as long as they are willing to suffer the consequenses is in error I believe. Further, how would CS being a pastor have any moral authority to expect that the rules of his Sunday School be followed, if he teaches his own kids to secretly break the rules at public school?

Man, you can always tell the guys that didnt make good paper hornets........

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Originally Posted by IAintMovin

Man, you can always tell the guys that didnt make good paper hornets........

We never put bbs or paperclips in ours, but we did soak them to harden the tips.

I got a swat in 6th grade for rubber bands..... my buddy was sent to the corner and I threw him ammo. He ratted me, and Mom said ok. They even held my bus.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Just this week, I have taken a trip down memory lane in order to try and be a good father to my sons.

The latest rage at their little country school is shooting "paper hornets" off rubber bands at one another.

This is of course a non-sanctioned activity as far as the teachers are concerned...but, like when I was a lad, it goes on.

Anyway, after abserving them making up supplies of ammunition in the evenings, preparing for the next day's battles, my mind drifted back to the days of my childhood, and of battles I fought and won in that very same arena.

I was an innovative kid, and always looked for ways to get the edge on the competition. This led to some pretty intensive research and development which in turn catapulted me into superpower status in the paper hornet wars.

So, desiring to be a good father, I sat down with my boys and had a serious conversation with them.

I asked them if they were fully aware of the fact that they were going to be in trouble with their teachers if they got caught shooting paper hornets...they affirmed that they were indeed aware.

I then asked them, in all honesty, if they planned to go ahead shooting them and take their chances...again, an affirmative answer.

My next question was, "Are you prepared to accept the consequences like men and not whine if you get nailed?"

They assured me that they were.

So, having cleared the preliminaries, I sat down with them to show them how to make the best paper hornets known to man, with several innovative features that will raise whelps of maximum size upon impact.

I know a little something about boys, and one of the things I know is that they are going to do these things. So, my philosophy is, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

Anyway, I showed them how to embed bb's in their paper hornets and wrap them with duct tape so that they can demolish the competiton.

Colton came home yesterday with glowing reports of glorious victories and total playground domination...

He says his buddy's all think I'm cool.

I cut and pasted this and sent it to my husband.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Pianoman

RECENTLY OVERHEARD CONVERSATION

School Principal : You boys sit there and be still while I try to reach your paw!

(Grabs phone and dials)

Coonskinner: Praise the Lord! You’ve reached the Coonskinner residence! How can I bless you today?

School Principal: Your youngins have been caught flinging deadly weapons at other students today. Little Stevie and Suzie have giant whelps on their arms, legs, and head! It seems they were harmlessly propelling paper hornets, when incoming paper hornets weighted with BBs wrapped in duct tape caused maximum damage!

I asked the boys where they had learn the art of manufacturing these deadly weapons, and after a long pause they said, “PAW!”

Coonskinner : Please let me explain! I was just making sure that IF the boys were getting in a paper hornet exchange, they needed to play to win! I made them aware of the consequences of their action, and I’m sure they’re ready to accept their punishment.

School Principal: Where did you learn to manufacture paper hornets with such deadly force?

Coonskinner: Let’s just say that as a young lad, I had to be creative to protect my family honor.

School Principal: Oh brother! Anyways, your boys were seen leaning over their fallen classmates and praying for God to heal them! You know that prayer is not allowed in public schools don’t you?

[SDG]

They are, along with the memories we provide, the only things we will leave behind.