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  #1  
Old 05-29-2007, 08:36 PM
Emma Bontrager's Avatar
Emma Bontrager Emma Bontrager is offline
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Emma's Holy Answers

I know I haven't been on a lot...too much gardening to do and helping my neighbors learn to be holy. However, I have decided to take time out of my busy, busy schedule to lead you people into the ways of holiness. That is why I have started this thread, which I am sure will last for a long time. I know you will greatly appreciate my taking my time to do this. (I am sure I will get so many questions, I may have to interview for some help to answer them, if there is anyone here holy enough to actually help me out, which I doubt, so I will probably have to do it all myself). At any rate, I will take it step by martyred step, painfully and woefully taking gobs of my precious time (or 15 minutes whichever comes first) to help you poor misled people out. Who will be first?
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Emma is a ficticious Amish character and ILG is her real person counterpart.
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Old 05-29-2007, 08:38 PM
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Dear Emma, is the Internet bad? What about Forums like this one?

I thought that Amish weren't allowed stuff such as this?

Oh, and where do you get the Electricity to run the Computers?

Signed,

Bewildered in B.C.
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  #3  
Old 05-29-2007, 08:43 PM
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Emma, I hope yer generator is in good shape. you will need alot of power to run this thread. Better send Amos to town with the team for to get some gas.


PS You are welcome in my barn any time.
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"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005

I am a firm believer in the Old Paths

Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945

"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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Old 05-29-2007, 08:46 PM
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Emma Bontrager Emma Bontrager is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ron View Post
Dear Emma, is the Internet bad? What about Forums like this one?

I thought that Amish weren't allowed stuff such as this?

Oh, and where do you get the Electricity to run the Computers?

Signed,

Bewildered in B.C.
Hello Ron,

The internet is very evil. Forums are okay as long as you only get them in email format. I use my neighbors computer and electricity, so it doesn't count. Are you finding fault with me? It's that old hobgoblin of consistency that you are trying to pigeonhole me with. Well, it won't work for somebody who thinks half naked women on internet is okay but half naked women on TV is wrong!
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Old 05-29-2007, 08:48 PM
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Emma Bontrager Emma Bontrager is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover View Post
Emma, I hope yer generator is in good shape. you will need alot of power to run this thread. Better send Amos to town with the team for to get some gas.


PS You are welcome in my barn any time.
You know I use my neighbors computer just like the Amish use their neighbors phone and rent car drivers. So, it doesn't count!

I wouldn't go into a barn owned by an Electric Amish person!
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Old 05-29-2007, 08:57 PM
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Trouvere Trouvere is offline
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Emma he's too newfangled for you.Stick to your convictions girl!
Besides what nice Holy Ghost man would invite you out to his barn.
Think about it girl.Next thing you know he will be asking you to bake
him like six peach pies or something.
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  #7  
Old 05-29-2007, 08:59 PM
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Emma Bontrager Emma Bontrager is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trouvere View Post
Emma he's too newfangled for you.Stick to your convictions girl!
Besides what nice Holy Ghost man would invite you out to his barn.
Think about it girl.Next thing you know he will be asking you to bake
him like six peach pies or something.
You know it Trouvere. Anybody who puts Electric and Amish in the same sentence will burn on the Lake O' Fire!

This very holy Amish woman is up way past her bedtime. I will be making breakfast very early tomorrow, but I will find some time to answer your questions tomorrow. I know you will be in line waiting. Please be patient and I will get to you as soon as I can. Take a number please.
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Old 05-29-2007, 09:02 PM
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Trouvere Trouvere is offline
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Amen Emma I will be up early as well.As soon as the garden is tilled and all the cows milked walk over to the neighbors and borrow their computer
and drop me a line but only if the eggs are picked and the bisquits made.
I would not want to say I helped you become a slacker.You know what the
bible says about the sloth.
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  #9  
Old 05-29-2007, 09:07 PM
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Sister Alvear Sister Alvear is offline
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Know you must arise at sun up or before to get that cow milked but I heard your new neighbor has a computer so try to make friends as soon as possible...You might need to write us and telling us about those horses and buggies up your way...
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  #10  
Old 05-29-2007, 09:09 PM
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Sister Alvear Sister Alvear is offline
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glad to see you back...know that way of life keeps you busy and looking for a computer you can use in the barn somewhere is quite tiring... but girl you keep it up we sure like that amish food...
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