“None of us can change our yesterdays but all of us can change our tomorrows.”

Felicity · #1 10-11-2007, 08:36 AM

My husband is presently reading a book that he would recommend to every person to read. Yesterday morning on the flight from Atlanta to Seattle he was reading me a few excerpts from one of the chapters. I felt immediately inspired to share some of what he was sharing with me with all of you.

I trust this will be of benefit and a blessing to someone reading AFF because I feel resentment and unforgiveness is a huge issue for many people. I agree with the author too, that harbouring bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness is the reason many suffer some of the physical ailments they do.

So here we go with the excerpts ……………..

Felicity · #2 10-11-2007, 08:38 AM

"Some people go through life as if they have a big anchor beyond them, weighing them down. If they could release it, they would be able to move faster and succeed more easily. Perhaps that’s you – holding on to past hurts, past incompletes, past anger or fear. Yet releasing these anchors can often be the final step you need to complete your past and embrace the future."

chosenbyone · #3 10-11-2007, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Felicity

"Some people go through life as if they have a big anchor beyond them, weighing them down. If they could release it, they would be able to move faster and succeed more easily. Perhaps that’s you – holding on to past hurts, past incompletes, past anger or fear. Yet releasing these anchors can often be the final step you need to complete your past and embrace the future."

Great thread, Felicity! I especially like the quote above, because it was so very true. How many people go year after year holding on to junk that happened in their past without seeing how beautiful life would be without having to caring all that resentment and unforgivingness around?

I used to tell people that I walked in forgiveness when they would wonder why I didn't hold a grudge against someone who had perpetrated an offense against me. I thought of how Jesus forgave me for every transgression I had ever made against him. In that light, it was much easier to forgive others for what they had done to me.

Martin Luther King said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude." I really liked that quote and took it to heart.

Felicity · #4 10-11-2007, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chosenbyone

Great thread, Felicity! I especially like the quote above, because it was so very true. How many people go year after year holding on to junk that happened in their past without seeing how beautiful life would be without having to caring all that resentment and unforgivingness around?

I used to tell people that I walked in forgiveness when they would wonder why I didn't hold a grudge against someone who had perpetrated an offense against me. I thought of how Jesus forgave me for every transgression I had ever made against him. In that light, it was much easier to forgive others for what they had done to me.

Martin Luther King said, "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude." I really liked that quote and took it to heart.

Great post!

We point the finger at others and there are 4 pointing back at ourselves.

I've chosen to walk in forgiveness. It's an attitude and a choice and the only way to live in my opinion. Life's too short to wallow in resentment, bitterness, deep-seated anger and a "get even - revenge is mine" kind of attitude.

I like this quote..... "For every second you're angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness".

SDG · #5 10-11-2007, 08:39 AM

I've been meditating on this word CHANGE ... in the last 3 days ...

It's time for me to allow Him to have His way.

Felicity · #6 10-11-2007, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

I've been meditating on this word CHANGE ... in the last 3 days ...

It's time for me to allow Him to have His way.

Gotta run but appreciate this post! Thanks Dan A! You can influence others in a positive way as a result!

Barb · #7 10-11-2007, 11:50 AM

This is a great thread, Felicity...

Resentment and forgiveness...timely to say the least.

Felicity · #8 10-11-2007, 08:39 AM

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." Nelson Mandela

"Whatever hurts you are feeling, know that others have felt many of them, too.

But also know that what can hurt you even more is harboring the resentment, holding a grudge, and rerunning the same hatred over and over. The word “forgive” really means to give it up for yourself -- not for them.

I've known people who, when they finally truly forgive someone, are released from long-term headaches within minutes, find immediate relief from chronic constipation and colitis, release their arthritis pain, improve their eyesight, and immediately experience a host of other physical benefits. One man actually lost 6 pounds in the following 2 days without changing his eating habits!

I have also seen people subsequently create miracles in their careers and financial lives."

Felicity · #9 10-11-2007, 08:40 AM

STEPS TO FORGIVING

The following steps are all integral to forgiving:

Acknowledge your anger and resentment.
Acknowledge the hurt and pain it created.
Acknowledge the fears and self-doubts that it created.
Own any part you may have played in letting it occur or letting it continue.
Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn't get, and then put yourself in the other person's shoes and attempt to understand where he or she was coming from at that time, and what needs the person was trying to meet -- however inelegantly -- by his or her behavior.

Let go and forgive the person.

Felicity · #10 10-11-2007, 08:42 AM

"Make sure and take ample time to think about what must have been going on in each person's life at the time to make him or her do whatever they did to you. It is important to remember the following truth:

All people (including you) are always doing the best they can to meet their basic needs with the current awareness, knowledge, skills and tools they have at the time. If they could have done better they would have done better. As they develop more awareness of how their behavior affects others, as they learn more effective and less harmful ways to meet their needs, they will behave in less harmful ways.

Think about it. No parent ever wakes up in the morning and says to his or her mate, "I've just figured out three more ways we can screw up our kid." Parents are always doing the best they can to be good parents. But the combination of their own psychological wounds, their lack of knowledge and parenting skills, and the pressures of their lives often converge and create behaviors that hurt us. It was not personal to you. They would have done the same thing to anyone who was in your shoes at that moment. The same is true for everyone else ... all the time."

“Success Principles” --Jack Canfield