Serious Weight Problem

[jediwill83]

Folks there's no getting around this...I'm a serious food addict. I'm not talking about just simple enjoyment of a good meal...I'm talking about a driving controlling addiction.

I've had weight problems since I was a child. I was lonely with few friends and very low self esteem suffering with some major depression that started even before I understood what the word meant.

I didn't go through a teen drinking and drug phase and I didn't even do it in my 20's but about a year and a half ago it dawned on me that I had a serious addiction to eating.

It doesn't help that I'm a foodie and I love to cook. Excuse the expression but cooking shows are like my porn.

I was 320 pounds in 9th grade....and while I lost down to 267 when I was about 24 it has went back up and now I'm over 400.

I'm so ashamed of my size and it's a driving feeling of disgust and failure.

I feel like when people see me that it's what they notice first.

How can I succeed in life when I cant even manage my own weight and appetite?

I can cycle from not eating at all to "EAT ALL THE THINGS!!!"

I get winded just from simple activity now and I know it'll only get worse.

The past three months has been severely emotionally trying and while I've talked about some details there's plenty you guys don't know...It was far worse than I've revealed and my addictive personality has ballooned filling the void the alcohol and pot was filling so it's gone from bad to worse.

I need some focused prayer...I know God is able but I know it'll take effort and restraint on my part...I believe and trust God but it's me I doubt.

I'm well aware of all the health risks...Just please help me pray.