How young, and how do you teach standards???

Carpenter · #1 11-02-2007, 04:59 PM

Just curious, I was talking with a young fella, three kids under 6 yrs old, two girls 6 and 1.

He doesn't really go to church but his wife is a PK and all his family around him have been in UPC for years...decades actually.

I was asking him about if he has had any battles regarding standards...

His response was, "Not yet, but the day (my oldest daughter) comes home from SS and says it is a sin to cut your hair, it will be an interesting day!"

Personally, my daughter (7yro) is in Ty Kwan Do, soccer, basketball, etc. and I am kind of surprised there aren't any issues...yet.

I don't have to worry about the hair thing, she is convinced it is going to hurt if she cuts it, although she went with me one time for a haircut and saw some girls donating their locks to a cancer organization and was interested in doing the same. I told her, "You are going to have to talk to momma about that..."

The point is that these kids have no clue about the why of standards and I think to hold the hard line is unreasonable...

pelathais · #2 11-02-2007, 05:46 PM

Hi Carp, I think I agree with you. My daughter is just learning to drive and has never cut her hair. She played soccer when very young and has played sports in school. She does her own thing- which happens to make her look like a very conservative UPCer.

I've never talked to my kids about standards except a couple of times to tell my daughter it was okay from the Bible and even more modest for her to wear pants when hiking or climbing.

The "why" of standards involves such a complex interplay of social ambiguities that most adults don't understand the "why." Keep them focused on Jesus Christ and I don't think you'll ever be disappointed with the result.

RandyWayne · #3 11-02-2007, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pelathais

Hi Carp, I think I agree with you. My daughter is just learning to drive and has never cut her hair. She played soccer when very young and has played sports in school. She does her own thing- which happens to make her look like a very conservative UPCer.

I've never talked to my kids about standards except a couple of times to tell my daughter it was okay from the Bible and even more modest for her to wear pants when hiking or climbing.

The "why" of standards involves such a complex interplay of social ambiguities that most adults don't understand the "why." Keep them focused on Jesus Christ and I don't think you'll ever be disappointed with the result.

Thus speaketh common sense.

#4 11-02-2007, 05:55 PM

If people have such faith in their "personal" convictions... why don't they allow God to give people convictions directly... rather than layer years and years and generations and generations of "personal" convictions on the young who, frankly, already have enough to worry about without all the extra baggage...

#5 11-02-2007, 06:01 PM

Oh, I should add... I used the "personal convictions" logic because whenever you disprove a so-called biblical standard, then people start claiming that God sent them some divine revelation without any (rolling eyes) outside influence... (when they get threatened on one argument, they switch to the other...)

Pragmatist · #6 11-02-2007, 07:04 PM

My question is how young do you teach them why standards are unnecessary?

I can envision my child arguing with the Sunday School teacher if they are addressed.

nahkoe · #7 11-02-2007, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pragmatist

My question is how young do you teach them why standards are unnecessary?

I can envision my child arguing with the Sunday School teacher if they are addressed.

LOL Coming into this with older kids, who are just like me, I've walked a very cautious line. lol

I teach why, not what. Thankfully I'm in a church that teaches the same. I've also got a whole lot of years of teaching them that different people believe different things and do different things and that what's ok at someone else's house isn't necessarily ok at ours. I hope this prevents them from ever cornering anyone. My luck, they'll get into it with someone who's been taught what and not why and argue the why with them.

Maybe our next lesson is in smiling and nodding. Yes, yes I think it might be.

RandyWayne · #8 11-02-2007, 07:31 PM

I was thinking about the subject of "How young" and it occurred to me to follow the excellent advice of a certain holiness author.
When talking to your kids just MAKE STUFF UP! Tell your little girls that "Your long hair keeps the devils away!" and your little boys that... that.... well, "You SISTERS long hair keeps the devil away!" -since there isn't as much to focus on with little boys.

#9 11-02-2007, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I was thinking about the subject of "How young" and it occurred to me to follow the excellent advice of a certain holiness author.
When talking to your kids just MAKE STUFF UP! Tell your little girls that "Your long hair keeps the devils away!" and your little boys that... that.... well, "You SISTERS long hair keeps the devil away!" -since there isn't as much to focus on with little boys.

LOL! Maybe the boys can use their note for gym class to not "dress out" as their special protection?

Jack Shephard · #10 11-02-2007, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpenter

Just curious, I was talking with a young fella, three kids under 6 yrs old, two girls 6 and 1.

He doesn't really go to church but his wife is a PK and all his family around him have been in UPC for years...decades actually.

I was asking him about if he has had any battles regarding standards...

His response was, "Not yet, but the day (my oldest daughter) comes home from SS and says it is a sin to cut your hair, it will be an interesting day!"

Personally, my daughter (7yro) is in Ty Kwan Do, soccer, basketball, etc. and I am kind of surprised there aren't any issues...yet.

I don't have to worry about the hair thing, she is convinced it is going to hurt if she cuts it, although she went with me one time for a haircut and saw some girls donating their locks to a cancer organization and was interested in doing the same. I told her, "You are going to have to talk to momma about that..."

The point is that these kids have no clue about the why of standards and I think to hold the hard line is unreasonable...

Wow...it just hit me that one day my now 16 month old daughter will ask about standards. I am much more liberal than her mother. I see nothing wrong with it. My wife on the other hand feels that if is out of rebelion than it wrong, but in case of medical reason i.e. migrains then it is ok as long as it is not to confuse the sexes. I agree there. I have no problem with it, but it must be taught to the children and not just told, IMO. I was told growing up, not by my parents but the ministy, that certain things were sinful and wrong. Since I have made my walk about Justin-to-God walk I have seen things differently. I am not a hardline guy. My wife and I have chose to let it be our daugthers choice, but based upon the supremacy of the word.

I have an adopted sister-in-law that is 15. She is not allowed to cut her hair or wear makeup. She occationally wears modest shorts and pants. But it is becoming a big deal. She is testing the waters of what she can get away with. My father-in-law in a hardliner about standards though he can not quote any verses to back them up. He is old school and goes by what he was told growing up. My s.i.l. is testing them. They have not tried to instill in her the value and supremacy of the scripture. But she is told by my mother-in-law that 'x' verse says it is wrong to do 'y'. Instead of telling her it is wrong they have not set up the validity of the scripture to my s.i.l. That I will not do. I will teach my daughter that God and His word is supreme and we need to read it and apply as we receive it no matter what we are told by men search it for yourself.