Quote:
Originally Posted by J.A. Perez
Every time I have talked to anyone that has walked away from the apostolic church, or started to change into a leftward lean, this is at the root.
Thank you for the honest warning.
Because how can you get closer to God outside of prayer and reading your bible? How can you be a better Christian lest we get closer to him?
Sorry just couldn't help responding. Much respect. Jermyn
If I was u if go to the church in Akron pastor Don Meade
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Here's more honesty.
When I left, I still had the fervent prayer life. Consistent Bible reading was always a struggle, but I did it. It was a matter of discipline, but it was also a matter of "OH NO! If I don't read my Bible today, it's the beginning of the end I'm about to backslide." Now with my prayer life, I wanted to pray and enjoyed the fellowship of God and with the saints in corporate and private prayer and it does bother me that I don't have the same prayer life.
I want that back.
But I am not on the precipice of hell fire because I am not praying 30 minutes a day every day.
Now more honesty.
Even while praying, reading and fasting, my life was marked by secret sins-- sins so serious that it defies all logic that a Holy Ghost filled Apostolic would ever be in a situation where they are battling such thoughts and actions.
But I couldn't talk with anyone about it. I couldn't tell anyone about it. I tried and jokes were made. I tried and the person in leadership dismissed what I was going through as a simple, "attack of the enemy". When I tried to continue the dialogue with that local leader, he made it obvious to me he was not comfortable talking privately about the issue and he did not direct me to anyone else.
There was no one to walk with me out of the deep trouble I was in. No one. So ultimately, I didn't have true fellowship with anyone because I couldn't be honest and true with them.
The Apostolics were just not prepared to deal with a person who was saved but still had a serious sin issue that needed to be dealt with-- openly, with patience and meekness.
So I kept my secret sins to myself (telling the Lord but no one else), crying at the altar at the end of every service, but falling every week or two to the same sin. Not once did I ever think the sin was ok, right, and I was always broken over the sin. It defied my identity as an Apostolic Christian.
My life made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
So I went to a place where my life would make sense.
Those people didn't have every Christian doctrine down pat-- but they sure did LOVE on me with the LOVE of Christ.
They LOVED me and confirmed their love towards me through their approachableness and willingness to listen, not judge, and pray with me. I have true accountability partners now, that KNOW me and love me just the way I am as the Lord forms His Likeness in me! I never had that in all my years as being an Apostolic. Remember, I was raised in this. My Dad is an ordained Bishop in his Apostolic organization. For a long time, Oneness Pentecostalism is all I ever knew.
With the A/G church I now attend, I have been able to be open and honest, sharing with them the childhood roots of my "then" current struggles.
They didn't minimize anything. They didn't tell me I wasn't saved. They agreed with me that I was in a dangerous place, but not out of reach of our Savior! They accepted and dealt with me as a repentant brother in Christ that was caught in a cycle of secret sin. Only the sin wasn't a secret between us.
The ability to confess and be real with TRUE HOLY GHOST FILLED CHRISTIANS is the key to helping me live an overcoming life.
I'm not perfect, but GOD IS MY WITNESS I AM LIVING SUCH A BETTER CHRISTIAN LIFE today! It is the truth!
I'm not conquered by sin every week, or every couple of weeks, or every month. The cycle of sin was broken when I started attending a church where I could be honest with people about what was going on without fear of ridicule and rejection.
So, I'm not running the aisles like I used to. But away from the church services, I am running the Christian race with victory, living a Christian life that makes more sense.
I won't give that up for anything in the world! I know my life has changed tremendously so, for the better, now that I am a real person with real relationships with real people. I am living real Christianity.
I don't pray 30 minutes a day like I used to, but I still pray.
I don't read my Bible like I used to, but I do still read.
Yes there is plenty of room for me to grow in these areas.
I want to attend a church where if I am struggling in a certain area, I can find fellowship with other brothers and sisters and together overcome each challenge by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
But it is hard to have a testimony among people you can't be real with.
Besides, when you really look at the scriptures WITHOUT ADDING ANYTHING TO THEM, salvation is by faith that comes before, concurrently or after water baptism, and the Holy Spirit baptism is a PROMISE to all those who are already saved, who already believe.
So not only do the Oneness Pentecostals not have every Biblical doctrine down pat, so many of them APPEAR unapproachable and un-real.
So deciding to go visit an Apostolic church once I move to Cleveland could possibly be a bad decision. However, I have thought and prayed about it and I think I should at least go and visit.
Despite their shortcomings, I know they are a people of prayer, usually. If it wasn't for that, the Oneness Pentecostals wouldn't have much of anything going for them at all. Their corporate prayer is what makes the difference in their services, their singing, their sermons. If they ever lose that, they'll be useless cause they definitely fall short in the other Christian areas.
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