The Skewed Priorities of Some Modern Evangelists

[Charnock]

Over the years I've heard a lot of people snicker about Lee Stoneking's marital status. He has never married, and this bothers a lot of people. There seems to be an unwritten rule that modern evangelists need to have trophy wives.

However, I am connected to a boatload of evangelists, missionaries and pastors via Facebook, and through years of friendships, and have noticed a distrurbing trend. That trend involves the minister traveling without his wife for weeks and months at a time.

I cannot believe that is healthy. I do not believe doing the work of ministry supersedes, or precludes, the work of fatherhood and husbandry.

For emphasis:

This is Marty Ballestero's blog bio:

"I'm an Evangelist. I miss my beautiful wife every day I'm away from her. Even after preaching 934 revivals, 339 Conferences & 63 Camps... it doesn't get easier being apart. If she lives to be a 100, I want to live to be a 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without her."

I guess I don't get it. If you don't want to live a day without her either take her with you, or find a way to minister closer to home. Seems simple to me.

Also, I recently watched a sermon of GG preaching at an Ohio District camp in which he mentioned that he hated being away from his wife so much, but had to do so because of his call. That his son had a problem with him being away so much, and was backslidden, but he (GG) had to be out preaching the gospel.

I suppose I don't get it. In my mind there's nothing more important than family and God. Ministry is secondary to those things.

[OnTheFritz]

Originally Posted by Charnock

Over the years I've heard a lot of people snicker about Lee Stoneking's marital status. He has never married, and this bothers a lot of people. There seems to be an unwritten rule that modern evangelists need to have trophy wives.

However, I am connected to a boatload of evangelists, missionaries and pastors via Facebook, and through years of friendships, and have noticed a distrurbing trend. That trend involves the minister traveling without his wife for weeks and months at a time.

I cannot believe that is healthy. I do not believe doing the work of ministry supersedes, or precludes, the work of fatherhood and husbandry.

For emphasis:

This is Marty Ballestero's blog bio:

"I'm an Evangelist. I miss my beautiful wife every day I'm away from her. Even after preaching 934 revivals, 339 Conferences & 63 Camps... it doesn't get easier being apart. If she lives to be a 100, I want to live to be a 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without her."

I guess I don't get it. If you don't want to live a day without her either take her with you, or find a way to minister closer to home. Seems simple to me.

Also, I recently watched a sermon of GG preaching at an Ohio District camp in which he mentioned that he hated being away from his wife so much, but had to do so because of his call. That his son had a problem with him being away so much, and was backslidden, but he (GG) had to be out preaching the gospel.

I suppose I don't get it. In my mind there's nothing more important than family and God. Ministry is secondary to those things.

I absolutely agree. Great thoughts.

[The Lemon]

Alot of the issues concerning priorities are generally passed down, either from parent, grand parent, or in some cases it is learned through the ministry practices of someone else. The issue, like issues of some convictions, are learned behaviors and therefore they are adopted and claimed to be ones own priorities and convictions, when in some cases neither are true.

In my 18yrs in OP / UPC, I have never heard much teaching or preaching on the importance of family, but I have heard alot about the "call", and how everything is secondary to the call. In my life, I would say that the call is closely linked with performance. when you are performance driven, duty will always trump relationship - this is true of the family, and if not corrected, can be true of ones relationship to Christ.

The other sad fact is that there is not enough teaching on the love of God and grace, but again, these issues become side issues when there is a huge emphasis on performance. I believe we should be full of good works, but there does need to be a balance, and most people don't even bother to evaluate there lives in respect to balance.

I still think much of the "monster" that has been created has been so by tradition and expectation of others. The people that think and act outside of the box are usually black listed and wrote off as charasmatic or relevant. Misery must love company! I remember hearing Hulk Hogan answer a question about success and he said, "Say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and exercise" it sounds obsurd, but if folks would love there families, and if husbands and wives submitted to each other in love, I think the church would be a happier place and alot of the clammoring would cease.

It's not about the building, the trappings, the calendars, the fund raisers, and programs...ITS ABOUT JESUS, LOVING HIM, LOVING EACH OTHER. Some people go to church, while others are busy being the church...

[Sam]

In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 the Apostle Paul speaks about how a married person needs to please his/her spouse but a single/celibate person needs to please his/her spouse. A spouse, home, and family with the obligations which come with them can be a distraction and a hindrance in serving God.

Paul also said that if someone does not provide for his own (family), that person has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. I personally do not think he was speaking only of financial provision. As husbands and fathers we have certain obligations to our family and failure to meet those obligations is failure to meet God-given obligations.

[MissBrattified]

IMO, the life of the travelling evangelist is not conducive to a stable family life, and an evangelist is better off if he remains single. However, IF he is married I firmly believe his family should travel with him. As much as possible, anyway. It's for his protection (speaking of his reputation and spiritual/emotional state) and it's for the protection of his family, as far as providing some cohesion and stability.

There are too many evangelists who have strayed while on the evangelistic field, and too many wives who have stayed home and became lonely...or bored. Ideally, yes--they could all be apart and remain pure, holy and devoted to one another. And that CAN BE and HAS BEEN done; but it isn't the most practical or wise way to protect a marriage.

Evangelists should either be single and/or travel with their families. If they can't orchestrate whatever is needed to travel with their families, I think they should stay home and take care of their families. That's a higher priority than preaching.

Regarding LS: I don't think his simply being single has anything at all to do with the snickers.

[Hoovie]

Very good thoughts Charnock. I totally agree. It should be the exception and not the norm when husband and wife don't travel together.

[RandyWayne]

Well, they say that the road is no place to start a family....

[Sister Alvear]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

Very good thoughts Charnock. I totally agree. It should be the exception and not the norm when husband and wife don't travel together.

agreed...and the longer I LIVE and the more I SEE I agree more so...

A married man has a responsibility first to his home and family...not running off to preach revivals and whatever just because he can preach...no matter how much in demand he is if he cannot be an example of the WORD no use to preach the word...and of course I am not talking of a once in a while thing...a have too situation but am speaking in general terms.

I personally know so many disasters that have happened...and see soon to be disasters ...it grieves me...

[Sister Alvear]

and my post is NOT DIRECTED IN ANY WAY TO Marty Ballestero ...IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER NOT TO MENTION NAMES...JUST SITUATIONS...

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

Alot of the issues concerning priorities are generally passed down, either from parent, grand parent, or in some cases it is learned through the ministry practices of someone else. The issue, like issues of some convictions, are learned behaviors and therefore they are adopted and claimed to be ones own priorities and convictions, when in some cases neither are true.

In my 18yrs in OP / UPC, I have never heard much teaching or preaching on the importance of family, but I have heard alot about the "call", and how everything is secondary to the call. In my life, I would say that the call is closely linked with performance. when you are performance driven, duty will always trump relationship - this is true of the family, and if not corrected, can be true of ones relationship to Christ.

The other sad fact is that there is not enough teaching on the love of God and grace, but again, these issues become side issues when there is a huge emphasis on performance. I believe we should be full of good works, but there does need to be a balance, and most people don't even bother to evaluate there lives in respect to balance.

I still think much of the "monster" that has been created has been so by tradition and expectation of others. The people that think and act outside of the box are usually black listed and wrote off as charasmatic or relevant. Misery must love company! I remember hearing Hulk Hogan answer a question about success and he said, "Say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and exercise" it sounds obsurd, but if folks would love there families, and if husbands and wives submitted to each other in love, I think the church would be a happier place and alot of the clammoring would cease.

It's not about the building, the trappings, the calendars, the fund raisers, and programs...ITS ABOUT JESUS, LOVING HIM, LOVING EACH OTHER. Some people go to church, while others are busy being the church...

Good post. When it comes to priorities I have found that the church service itself takes precedent over the family far more than it should. When pressed people will say "but the church is my family!".