Divorce/Forgiveness

[iNichole]

I'm new here, and I didn't look to see if there was already a thread about this somewhere else, so I started a new one. I hope that's ok. I'm not here to start a debate about divorce or whether it's right/wrong/or ok in circumstances, I'm simply bringing up the forgiveness factor that ties into it. I've even in an apostolic church all my life and I was recently divorced a year ago. I believe I made a mistake and was wrong in doing so, but I have since then remarried and I'm trying to start over. My current husband is a new convert to this doctrine and was raised baptist. We both attend a Pentecostal church. I have repented for the wrong I've done and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did. I had a hard time forgiving myself and I still struggle with regret and guilt. But everytime I feel any relief someone reminds me of the wrong I did. Sad to say, but it is always someone from church. I can't even go in to wal mart without running into someone that snares their noes up at me. People who used to be good friends of mine, people in the ministry that I was close to will walk right past me and not speak, or turn and go the other way. How can I forgive myself and move foward when Im faced with this everyday?? We've all made mistakes, some a lot bigger than others. I don't want anyone to condone what I've done, I hate my sin more than anyone because I know the pain it really caused. But how can we claim to be a Christian if We are incapable of forgiveness? Isn't the blood that Jesus shed enough to cover the wrong? Has anyone else been through this, how did you deal with it?

[missourimary]

My guess is that most of the people who are doing these things don't need to forgive you. You did them no wrong. They do need to show mercy and compassion.

Yes, Jesus can/will/does forgive--even huge mistakes.

I've had people turn their noses up at me. There are a few options I've found to deal with it. I can:
move away from the area.
avoid places where I might run into people with their noses in the air.
say something to them, or walk up and give them a big hug.
pray for them.
forgive them.
hold your head high and keep smiling, knowing that your salvation and forgiveness come from Jesus, not people, and thank him for those reminders.
ask Jesus to help you forgive yourself, and to take away any condemnation you feel.

They're doing what they have seen others do and what may have even been done to them at one time or another. Some turn away because they don't want to embarrass you (thinking you'd be embarrassed that you "sinned"), and others simply don't know what to do or say. Some are rude and some are just socially ignorant, but those may or may not constitute the majority of the people you bump into. Chances are that most just don't know what to say or do, so they say and do nothing at all.

Wish I could tell you more, but prayer is really the only way through it.

[TGBTG]

Originally Posted by iNichole

I'm new here, and I didn't look to see if there was already a thread about this somewhere else, so I started a new one. I hope that's ok. I'm not here to start a debate about divorce or whether it's right/wrong/or ok in circumstances, I'm simply bringing up the forgiveness factor that ties into it. I've even in an apostolic church all my life and I was recently divorced a year ago. I believe I made a mistake and was wrong in doing so, but I have since then remarried and I'm trying to start over. My current husband is a new convert to this doctrine and was raised baptist. We both attend a Pentecostal church. I have repented for the wrong I've done and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did. I had a hard time forgiving myself and I still struggle with regret and guilt. But everytime I feel any relief someone reminds me of the wrong I did. Sad to say, but it is always someone from church. I can't even go in to wal mart without running into someone that snares their noes up at me. People who used to be good friends of mine, people in the ministry that I was close to will walk right past me and not speak, or turn and go the other way. How can I forgive myself and move foward when Im faced with this everyday?? We've all made mistakes, some a lot bigger than others. I don't want anyone to condone what I've done, I hate my sin more than anyone because I know the pain it really caused. But how can we claim to be a Christian if We are incapable of forgiveness? Isn't the blood that Jesus shed enough to cover the wrong? Has anyone else been through this, how did you deal with it?

Remember the woman at the well (John 4)? she had five husbands and even the one she was living with was not her husband, yet Jesus gave her of that living water (salvation). Bro/Sis, all I can say if you have asked the Lord to forgive you of your sins, He has forgiven you. But the devil will always want to bring it up to condemn you. Whenever you feel such condemnation, recite to yourself Rom 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Just continue to feed yourself with the word of God. Remember
Revelation 12
10And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony" We have overcome all the accusations of the enemy by the blood of Jesus Christ.

As for those who seem not to treat you fairly, just pray sincerely for them. They themselves might be having unpleasant issues in their lives. See it as an opportunity to pray for someone. Trust me, the burden will get easier. You just sincerely love them from your heart. Make effort to talk to them. Remember, we have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18).
That your conscience may be clear toward God and men (Acts 24:16 ).

Finally,don't let the enemy rub you off your joy, stay blessed in the Lord. Shout the victory.

Here's a Psalm for your comfort...

Psalm 100
1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
3Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
5For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

God bless ya real good!!!

[Godsdrummer]

Just what I do in simular situations I did not sin, but in the eyes of those I was raised with and shared in the minstry with, I have.

Be the true Christian, it does not matter what they think, what matters is your relationship to God, and you being true to him. In this matter I wont quote scripture I think you should know them my heart.

When I see someone I know from the church I was raised in I make it a point to address them. Showing others true Christianity.

[pastorrick1959]

sad situation your in there ,/// but youve won half the battle of admitting your wrong ,repented and starting over,,show great strength on your part ,, many would have folded under this pressure ,but you continue! keep going strong.

you cant undo it now , time will heal it to those that are truley your friend ..

moast of use cannot and in JESUS TIME ,THROW THE rock ,,,wefind oursleves short of where we want to be . pres on in JESUS NAME .. AND BE PROUD you have converted your husband sounds like.

[Praxeas]

Look to Jesus. Your faith is in Him and not in man.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by iNichole

I'm new here, and I didn't look to see if there was already a thread about this somewhere else, so I started a new one. I hope that's ok. I'm not here to start a debate about divorce or whether it's right/wrong/or ok in circumstances, I'm simply bringing up the forgiveness factor that ties into it. I've even in an apostolic church all my life and I was recently divorced a year ago. I believe I made a mistake and was wrong in doing so, but I have since then remarried and I'm trying to start over. My current husband is a new convert to this doctrine and was raised baptist. We both attend a Pentecostal church. I have repented for the wrong I've done and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did. I had a hard time forgiving myself and I still struggle with regret and guilt. But everytime I feel any relief someone reminds me of the wrong I did. Sad to say, but it is always someone from church. I can't even go in to wal mart without running into someone that snares their noes up at me. People who used to be good friends of mine, people in the ministry that I was close to will walk right past me and not speak, or turn and go the other way. How can I forgive myself and move foward when Im faced with this everyday?? We've all made mistakes, some a lot bigger than others. I don't want anyone to condone what I've done, I hate my sin more than anyone because I know the pain it really caused. But how can we claim to be a Christian if We are incapable of forgiveness? Isn't the blood that Jesus shed enough to cover the wrong? Has anyone else been through this, how did you deal with it?

I've found that this sort of behavior is endemic to churches and denominations that are performance based. Meaning, your salvation and righteousness isn't predicated upon Christ's full provision of salvation and imputed righteousness. In these circles the mistakes you've made define you as a person and because you failed to perform or live up to the expected standard of righteousness, you're on the outs. And in my experience, unless you change churches it's permanently. Even in changing churches if you begin attending another church of this flavor in the same town, word will travel around and guess what... the new church will only allow you in at arms length.

I suggest finding a radically different church that is focused on and based on grace through faith. You're in need of far more healing than you know.

[Jack Shephard]

NOW, Hey.....get in here!!!

[Jack Shephard]

iNichole....I believe in grace and it covers all and wipes it away. Now the self-conviction is the toughest to deal with. I am sorry you feel this way and I pray God reaches to you in this time of your need.

[Cindy]

Some people are going to be that way. And it's got to be a tough thing to go through. But God judges your heart, and people can't do that. He is just and merciful, and always faithful. People may let you down. But Jesus always, ALWAYS, LIFTS YOU UP!!