Smile awhile!

[Falla39]

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"


While attending a Marriage seminar dealing with communication, Jack and his wife, Barb, listened to the instructor. “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He addressed the men, “can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?” Jack leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “Its Pillsbury isn’t it?”

Are you smiling yet!

[Timmy]

[Timmy]

Reminds me of a true story (one I've told here before, I think, but oh well, I only have so many stories, ya know?):

Wife and I were at a large church service. Some special service on a week day. Seminar or rally type thing. Anyway, the speaker says "OK, all the men who are the boss in your house, STAND UP!" I leaned over to the wife and asked "should I stand?" She said "Yes!"

I stood!

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by Timmy

Reminds me of a true story (one I've told here before, I think, but oh well, I only have so many stories, ya know?):

Wife and I were at a large church service. Some special service on a week day. Seminar or rally type thing. Anyway, the speaker says "OK, all the men who are the boss in your house, STAND UP!" I leaned over to the wife and asked "should I stand?" She said "Yes!"

I stood!

LOL!!

[MawMaw]

@ Sis Falla and Timmy's funnies!!

[Falla39]

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17:22

[MawMaw]

Some of you may have already read this one, but for some who might not have, here it is........it's still so funny every time I read it!



Pecans In The Cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree that stood just inside the cemetery fence.



One day, two boys stopped and decided they would pick up a bucket full of the nuts. After they got all they wanted, they sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing them.......



'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,'



As they counted, several dropped and rolled down by the edge of the fence.


Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.



As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. He listened. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'



Startled, he jumped back on his bike and took off! He just had to find somebody to tell!



Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.


"Hey mister, come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I just heard!"



"Jesus and the devil are down at the cemetery and they're dividing up the souls!'


The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard enough for me to walk.'



The boy would not take no for an answer so, the old man finally agreed to go and hobbled slowly to the cemetery with him.


Standing by the fence, the old man was skeptical, but, sure enough, he heard voices too........'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'


The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's get a little closer and see if we can get a glimpse of the Lord!'


Both of them shaking with fear, they gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter......straining as hard as they could to see.


Then they heard something that made their hair stand on end!!!!



'Okay we're even.....now let's go get those nuts down by the fence and we'll be done.'............







They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

[Cindy]

[Falla39]

Lacey,
I have seen that story before, but like you, it is still funny each time I read/hear it!

Falla39

[PETER]

There was a southern pastor who was given charge of a church that had the reputation of having a congregation that was tight fisted and hard to get moving.
His first sermon was a rousing one, and he thought he would finish with the statement, spoken loudly and with ghusto "And if this church is going to move, we have to pick up our beds and walk!!!"
The congregation shouted in unison" Yea preacher, let 'em walk preacher, let 'em walk."
He was so impressed with the reply he shouted "If we're going to get moving we'll have to pick up our beds and run!!!!", and the congregation shouted "Let 'em run pastor, let 'em run!!!" The pastor was elated and shouted with all excitement " If we're going to get moving we'll have to pick up our beds and fly!!!!", and they all shouted "Let 'em fly pastor, let 'em fly!!!!!" By now the pastor was so excited, he thought he had a good church, and the reputation was unfounded, and he cried out "If this church is going to fly, we're going to need money!!!!"
And the congregation died down and called out " Let 'em walk pastor, let 'em walk.'