"It was so cold in Washington, it felt like Hillary's inauguration. It was so cold, Al Gore led a prayer for global warming. In fact, by the end of the inauguration, everybody's face looked like Nancy Pelosi." --Jay Leno
"Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi went to Syria, and she said she found some common ground to talk about with the Syrians. I guess they told each other Bush jokes for a few hours." --Jay Leno
"Many Republicans are upset with ... Speaker Nancy Pelosi's recent demand for regular use of the Air Force's C-32 -- the same type of aircraft the Vice President and the first lady use. They're also not thrilled with her demand to be carried around Washington Cleopatra-style." --Amy Poehler
"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is now in Iraq. She made a surprise visit to Iraq. Well, you thought Bush wanted to bomb the place before. ... She didn't say how long she'd be staying in Iraq. President Bush said he was against setting any timetables for Pelosi to return. He said to bring her back prematurely would send the wrong message." --Jay Leno
"Today Nancy Pelosi became the first woman Speaker of the House. They say this is the furthest anyone in a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover." --Jay Leno
"Nancy Pelosi said today we've waited 200 years for this. 200 years? How many face lifts has this woman had?" --Jay Leno
"The new Speaker of the House is Nancy Pelosi. She had lunch today with President Bush, but the lunch honestly did not go well. She would not pass him anything he asked for." –David Letterman
"Nancy Pelosi, the likely Speaker of the House, had lunch at the White House Thursday with President Bush. Though, just to rub things in, she left early to have an abortion." --Amy Poehler
"I got to give the president credit. He is trying. He had lunch two days ago with Nancy Pelosi, the new Speaker of the House. And he was trying to find common ground and couldn't come up with anything. Finally he said, 'Your frozen smile looks just like my wife's.'" --Bill Maher
"Did you see last week President Bush and Nancy Pelosi meeting with reporters after their lunch? Boy, you thought Bill and Hillary were good about putting on phony smiles." --Jay Leno
"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah right.'" --Conan O'Brien
A Nancy Pelosi impersonator on Saturday Night Live, on the Democrats' 2006 victory: "You sent this White House a message: That stay the course in Iraq is not a plan; that our healthcare system should serve ordinary citizens, not pharmaceutical companies;......................................
"It was so cold in Washington, it felt like Hillary's inauguration. It was so cold, Al Gore led a prayer for global warming. In fact, by the end of the inauguration, everybody's face looked like Nancy Pelosi." --Jay Leno
"Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi went to Syria, and she said she found some common ground to talk about with the Syrians. I guess they told each other Bush jokes for a few hours." --Jay Leno
"Many Republicans are upset with ... Speaker Nancy Pelosi's recent demand for regular use of the Air Force's C-32 -- the same type of aircraft the Vice President and the first lady use. They're also not thrilled with her demand to be carried around Washington Cleopatra-style." --Amy Poehler
"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is now in Iraq. She made a surprise visit to Iraq. Well, you thought Bush wanted to bomb the place before. ... She didn't say how long she'd be staying in Iraq. President Bush said he was against setting any timetables for Pelosi to return. He said to bring her back prematurely would send the wrong message." --Jay Leno
"Today Nancy Pelosi became the first woman Speaker of the House. They say this is the furthest anyone in a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover." --Jay Leno
"Nancy Pelosi said today we've waited 200 years for this. 200 years? How many face lifts has this woman had?" --Jay Leno
"The new Speaker of the House is Nancy Pelosi. She had lunch today with President Bush, but the lunch honestly did not go well. She would not pass him anything he asked for." –David Letterman
"Nancy Pelosi, the likely Speaker of the House, had lunch at the White House Thursday with President Bush. Though, just to rub things in, she left early to have an abortion." --Amy Poehler
"I got to give the president credit. He is trying. He had lunch two days ago with Nancy Pelosi, the new Speaker of the House. And he was trying to find common ground and couldn't come up with anything. Finally he said, 'Your frozen smile looks just like my wife's.'" --Bill Maher
"Did you see last week President Bush and Nancy Pelosi meeting with reporters after their lunch? Boy, you thought Bill and Hillary were good about putting on phony smiles." --Jay Leno
"As a result of this week's election, the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is now the most powerful woman in the country. After hearing this, Oprah Winfrey said, 'Yeah right.'" --Conan O'Brien
A Nancy Pelosi impersonator on Saturday Night Live, on the Democrats' 2006 victory: "You sent this White House a message: That stay the course in Iraq is not a plan; that our healthcare system should serve ordinary citizens, not pharmaceutical companies;......................................
Yawn. This exact list of stupid jokes that aren't funny have been posted before on a thread in which I was defending the rights of liberals to breathe. It might actually have been you. Could you come up with something new? I suppose maybe it's asking too much to ask Christians to behave better than these folks.
Yawn. This exact list of stupid jokes that aren't funny have been posted before on a thread in which I was defending the rights of liberals to breathe. It might actually have been you. Could you come up with something new? I suppose maybe it's asking too much to ask Christians to behave better than these folks.
You really don't have a sense of humor, do you? Nothing crass about these jokes and yet you still complain about them.
The last line is laughable and condescending, especially coming from you...
Most Americans do not know about "Newfies". Newfoundlanders. Sort of like Canada's rednecks. My wife is a newfie and loves newfie jokes.
In fact, Newfies make up most of the newfie jokes, themselves.
A newfie was carrying an ice cooler full of fish. The game warden stops him and asks if he has a license for catching those fish. He said, "Nope. They're my pets."
"Your pets?"
"Yep. I bring them out every day to the lake and take them for a swim. Then I whistle and they all jump back into the cooler and I take them home."
"Ok, wise guy, let's go to the lake and prove to me that you can throw them in and whistle for them to jump back in your cooler."
So they proceeded down to the lake.
The Newfie throws in the fish in the lake and stands there.
The warden says, "Well, whistle to your fish and let's see see them jump back into your cooler."
The Newfie replies, "What fish?"
__________________ ...MY THOUGHTS, ANYWAY.
"Many Christians do not try to understand what was written in a verse in the Bible. Instead they approach the passage to prove what they already believe."
Most Americans do not know about "Newfies". Newfoundlanders. Sort of like Canada's rednecks. My wife is a newfie and loves newfie jokes.
Texans have Aggie Joke, an aggie being someone who goes to or went to Texas A&M University.
There were three Aggies huddled around each other at a local bar. All of a sudden, they jumped up and yelled,
"Yeah, 45! 45!" The bartender goes down to them and asks, "45? What are you guys so excited about?"
One of the Aggies speaks up: "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. The box said 2 to 3 years, and we did it in 45 days!"
What is the difference between an Aggie and a carp?
One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he gets 3 hours credit.
What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.
Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!
Did you hear about the Aggie who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
Why did the Aggie get fired from the M&M plant as a quality control inspector?
He kept throwing out all the W&W's!
Have you heard about the Aggie kamikaze pilot?
He flew 22 missions.
An Aggie got a job at an east Texas sawmill. Just before lunch on his first day, he lost a finger. When asked
how he lost it, he replied, "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...Darn! There goes another one!"
Did you hear about the Aggie that drove his pickup into the lake?
His dog drowned while he tried to get the tailgate down.
Why don't Aggies eat barbecue beans?
Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.
Texans have Aggie Joke, an aggie being someone who goes to or went to Texas A&M University.
There were three Aggies huddled around each other at a local bar. All of a sudden, they jumped up and yelled,
"Yeah, 45! 45!" The bartender goes down to them and asks, "45? What are you guys so excited about?"
One of the Aggies speaks up: "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. The box said 2 to 3 years, and we did it in 45 days!"
What is the difference between an Aggie and a carp?
One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he gets 3 hours credit.
What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the A&M campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.
Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet in one of the dorms at A&M?
It was the 1963 hide-and-go-seek champion!
Did you hear about the Aggie who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
Why did the Aggie get fired from the M&M plant as a quality control inspector?
He kept throwing out all the W&W's!
Have you heard about the Aggie kamikaze pilot?
He flew 22 missions.
An Aggie got a job at an east Texas sawmill. Just before lunch on his first day, he lost a finger. When asked
how he lost it, he replied, "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...Darn! There goes another one!"
Did you hear about the Aggie that drove his pickup into the lake?
His dog drowned while he tried to get the tailgate down.
Why don't Aggies eat barbecue beans?
Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.
What do you call 53 guys sitting around the TV watching the playoffs? The Raiders.
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