Liberal or Conservative

[Sam]

I received this as an email today.

It's about liberals and conservatives, but it's applied politically, not the way we often bounce those terms around here on AFF



If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.


If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.


If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.

If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.


If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

[Sam]

I received this from a friend in response to my recent post "Conservative or Liberal?"
and thought I'd give it equal distribution.
Jim Ellis


If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one and cares about the innocent children shot from people who don't keep their guns out childrens hands. Helps educate people about gun saftey

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, enjoy's his/her tofu and lets others enjoy their steak.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal trys peaceful solutions before war and innocent people sent to their death.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he or she are usually quite educated and believe in civil rights for all.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts try to help others, their peers be successful too!

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal will look out for his brother who is down and out and lend a helping hand.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals believe in free speech, even right wing loud mouths that insight emotional reactions vs thought out debates.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal believes all religion should have the freedom to worship

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal sees the room for improvement not the status quo same old thing, believes we should help the needy.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls they will find out why the floor was wet and cleans it up so the next person doesn't fall.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will read this and educate others because he cares about others who have it worse off, thinks of others, our future, our economy, and our earth.

[SOUNWORTHY]

I like that Sam!!

[Nitehawk013]

The first one without the Liberal spin damage control is much more accurrate.

[SOUNWORTHY]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

The first one without the Liberal spin damage control is much more accurrate.

I thought so too. Sam slipped the other one in on us while I was posting, so you can say I agree to the first one rather than the watered down version.

[Nitehawk013]

The first example always reminds me of a tshirt I saw.

"If Guns kill people, then spoons make Michael Moore fat!"

[Aquila]

Here’s how I think it should read….

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he’s not really a conservative because conservatives worship the idea of lethal force and bloodshed.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one and cares about the innocent children shot from people who don't keep their guns out children’s hands. Helps educate people about gun safety

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he’s not really a conservative because conservatives don’t eat fellow conservatives.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, enjoys his/her tofu and lets others enjoy their steak.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy without any regard to trying to find a peaceful solution. A Conservative will rush into war killing thousands, including the innocent. The operation will be hastily prepared, have no exist strategy, attempt to Westernize a foreign culture, and be recklessly expensive.
A liberal tries to reach peaceful solutions before war and innocent people sent to their death. While trying to work peace unofficial warnings of utter annihilation are made over the table with a smile. When a liberal goes to war it’s surgical and has staying international support.

If a conservative is homosexual, he’s most likely a married Republican politician pretending to be straight.
If a liberal is homosexual, he or she are usually quite educated and believe in civil rights for all.

If a black man or Hispanic is a conservative, they work illegally and/or undercut American businesses for jobs.
Their liberal counterparts try to help others, their peers be successful too.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he eats Twinkies all day, listens to talk radio, and blames liberals.
A liberal will look out for his brother who is down and out and lend a helping hand.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he’s not a conservative because without emotionally manipulative talk show hosts conservatism wouldn’t stand a chance.
Liberals believe in free speech, even right wing loud mouths that insight emotional reaction vs. thought out debates.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he fools right wing Christians into thinking he is so he can win an election.
A liberal believes all religion should have the freedom to worship

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it and frankly doesn’t care at all for the millions who can’t find what he’s found.
A liberal sees the room for improvement not the status quo same old thing, believes we should help the needy.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, it’s probably a Wal-Mart that underpays and underinsures their employees and weakens locally owned private businesses.
If a liberal slips and falls they will find out why the floor was wet and cleans it up so the next person doesn't fall.

If a conservative reads this, he'll compare anyone who doesn’t agree with him to Hitler.
A liberal will read this and educate others because he cares about others who have it worse off, thinks of others, our future, our economy, and our earth.

[coadie]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

The first example always reminds me of a tshirt I saw.

"If Guns kill people, then spoons make Michael Moore fat!"

Good one. Just like i blame my pencils for my spelling mistakes.