Christian One Liners

[rgcraig]

Christian One Liners


Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.


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Some people are kind, polite, and
sweet-spirited, until you try to sit in their pews.


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Many folks want to serve God,
but only as advisors.


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It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.


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The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.


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When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.


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People are funny; they want the front
of the bus, the middle of the road, and
the back of the church.


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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs hard on your front door forever.


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Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.


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If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.


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God Himself does not propose to judge
a man until he is dead. So why should you?


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Some minds are like concrete;
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.


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Peace starts with a smile.


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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?


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A lot of church members who are singing
'Standing on the Promises'
are just sitting on the premises.


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We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.


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Be ye fishers of men. You catch
them - He'll clean them.


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Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.


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Don't put a question mark
where God put a period..


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Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.


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Forbidden fruits create many jams.


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God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.


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God grades on the cross, not the curve.


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God loves everyone, but probably prefers
'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'


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God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.


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He who angers you, controls you!


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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!


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Prayer:


Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!


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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.


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The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.


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We don't change the message,
the message changes us.


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You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.


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The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

[soldoutochrist]

Very funny!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Christian One Liners

The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.


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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?

Love these!!!

[Monkeyman]

"God made Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve"
"I got my Axe & 2 38's"

Preachers, please stop using these, they weren't funny the first time we heard 'em!!!

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Monkeyman

"God made Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve"
"I got my Axe & 2 38's"

Preachers, please stop using these, they weren't funny the first time we heard 'em!!!

[Innocuous]

I heard this one watching the Daytona 500 on Sunday: "He's so old he remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick." That made me LOL.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Innocuous

I heard this one watching the Daytona 500 on Sunday: "He's so old he remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick." That made me LOL.

Someone at work told me, "You're so old that when God said, 'Let there be light' you were the one that flipped the switch."

[Innocuous]

Originally Posted by Sam

Someone at work told me, "You're so old that when God said, 'Let there be light' you were the one that flipped the switch."

LOL!

[Pro31:28]

My daughter made a yo' mama joke... Yo mama is so old, she babysat for Cain and Abel... I promptly called my mother and told her to forget any good birthday presents for her

[commonsense]

Just received the same list in an email from a relative last week. These are all great-----(church bulletin fillers).
I enjoyed them again.