Elders and Deacons: Wives and Children

[Sept5SavedTeen]

Ok, everybody, I have a question about elders. The Scriptures tell us:

Titus 1:5For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee:

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

7For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;

8But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

9Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.


1 Timothy 3:1This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

2A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

3Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

4One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

5(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

6Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

7Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

8Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

9Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

10And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

11Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

12Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

13For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.


Some background on my train of thought. About two or three summers ago I was in a fairly conservative Campellite (church of Christ) meetinghouse for a Sunday evening service, and I heard a great message about obedience. The preacher explained the COMPLETE obedience we were to have to the Bible, and how we were to be obedient to GOD's plan for HIS Church. He briefly mentioned the roles of the eldership and deakonite, and he meantioned how their assembly had multiple deacons and elders. And he briefly mentioned the qualifications, and mentioned how these men had to be married WITH multiple (two or more) children. I heard the preaching, thought about, but I was in an apostolic assembly (UPCI) that didn't practice plurality of elders or deacons, and the pastor of the UPC I was attending had a wife and two kids. Through the leading of the LORD, I was led to an independent assembly that was/is striving for an eldership and diakonite made up of many men, who meet the qualifications.
Now, I am thinking about the qualifications, and I was thinking, "Alex, you should work towards being a deacon, that seems like a good role for a young man like yourself to fill, you'd be a servant to the people of GOD, andyou could work in that role and work towards meeting the qualifications of being grave, not doubletounged, not greedy, having a pure conscience, blameless, ect.. ect... ok Alex, let's work towards that..." BUT WAIT!

I DON'T HAVE A WIFE OR TWO+ CHILDREN (which of course I'd need a wife first of course...)

Now, the question is this, is having a wife and 2+ children just as part of fufilling the qualifications as being grave, not drunken, not doubletounged, ect, ect...?

How can we say, "Ok, the Bible says, "Wife and children for elders and deacons, but, we'll make it work like this;

(From Titus 1:6)

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, not accused of riot or unruly.

OR

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having a faithful child not accused of riot or unruly.

OR

6If any be blameless, and is married or single, has children, no children or one child not accused of riot or unruly.

Can we do this? Can a man have hands laid on him for this role without a wife and multiple children? Are there not things that a man just can not know without a wife and multiple children?

What say all of ye?

-Bro. Alex

[Scott Hutchinson]

Maybe I'm wrong but this since would apply to married men ,about having one wife and obedient children,since you are single I can't see a prohibition taught on single men serving as deacons, at least the scripture doesn't forbid it.
The word deacon does mean minister and the office of a deacon is more involved than what the institutional church teaches.

[Sherri]

I say you need to get married.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Here is an interesting article.
http://www.preacherscorner.org/tom-deacon-seg.htm

[Scott Hutchinson]

Here is another interesting article.
http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=530

[Sam]

I have a question about Deacons and marriage.

In 1 Timothy 3:12 the Apostle Paul says that a deacon (Greek word diakonos, Strong's word 1249) is to be the husband of one wife.
In Romans 16:1 the Apostle Paul speaks of Phoebe, our sister, and calls her a deacon (Greek word diakonos, Strong's word 1249).

Does 1 Timothy chapter 3 mean that a deacon MUST be married?
Could it mean that a person who is a deacon should only have one spouse at a time?
How can a woman like Phoebe be a deacon if a deacon HAS to have a wife?

[Scott Hutchinson]

Here is one view,although I certainly am not endorsing these folks.
http://www.wcg.org/lit/church/ministry/women7.htm

[Scott Hutchinson]

Here is something to chew on.
http://www.bibletexts.com/women.htm#churchauthority

[Pastor Keith]

Originally Posted by Sept5SavedTeen

Ok, everybody, I have a question about elders. The Scriptures tell us:

Titus 1:5For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee:

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

7For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;

8But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;

9Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.


1 Timothy 3:1This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

2A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

3Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

4One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

5(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

6Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

7Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

8Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;

9Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

10And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

11Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

12Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

13For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.


Some background on my train of thought. About two or three summers ago I was in a fairly conservative Campellite (church of Christ) meetinghouse for a Sunday evening service, and I heard a great message about obedience. The preacher explained the COMPLETE obedience we were to have to the Bible, and how we were to be obedient to GOD's plan for HIS Church. He briefly mentioned the roles of the eldership and deakonite, and he meantioned how their assembly had multiple deacons and elders. And he briefly mentioned the qualifications, and mentioned how these men had to be married WITH multiple (two or more) children. I heard the preaching, thought about, but I was in an apostolic assembly (UPCI) that didn't practice plurality of elders or deacons, and the pastor of the UPC I was attending had a wife and two kids. Through the leading of the LORD, I was led to an independent assembly that was/is striving for an eldership and diakonite made up of many men, who meet the qualifications.
Now, I am thinking about the qualifications, and I was thinking, "Alex, you should work towards being a deacon, that seems like a good role for a young man like yourself to fill, you'd be a servant to the people of GOD, andyou could work in that role and work towards meeting the qualifications of being grave, not doubletounged, not greedy, having a pure conscience, blameless, ect.. ect... ok Alex, let's work towards that..." BUT WAIT!

I DON'T HAVE A WIFE OR TWO+ CHILDREN (which of course I'd need a wife first of course...)

Now, the question is this, is having a wife and 2+ children just as part of fufilling the qualifications as being grave, not drunken, not doubletounged, ect, ect...?

How can we say, "Ok, the Bible says, "Wife and children for elders and deacons, but, we'll make it work like this;

(From Titus 1:6)

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, not accused of riot or unruly.

OR

6If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having a faithful child not accused of riot or unruly.

OR

6If any be blameless, and is married or single, has children, no children or one child not accused of riot or unruly.

Can we do this? Can a man have hands laid on him for this role without a wife and multiple children? Are there not things that a man just can not know without a wife and multiple children?

What say all of ye?

-Bro. Alex

First I think this to be a general guideline, specifically dealing with taking care of yourself first, proving that you are capable of that, then transfering that ability and skill to the church setting, as the family was the natural proving ground for skills in the church.

I don't think it means that if your not married then your disqualified or have no children then your disqualified. But I think if you have mulitiple marriages and your children, if you have them are unruly (out of control) then your qualifications for leading others might be suspect.

The Apostle Paul was most likely unmarried. Thus if marriage was the qualification for being an elder he wouldn't have qualified, also he had no children.

So I think your OK. But getting married is a wonderful thing and only enhances the ministry in my opinion.

[Scott Hutchinson]

Bro.Alex maybe Sister Jeanie has some young nieces or some sisters you could talk to and start courting.