Last night something triggered a memory and all the sudden that bitter gall of anger rose up in my heart.
It’s been years since I even thought about this fellow whom I actually have never met. I dealt with that anger a long time ago but there it was again. Right at bed time, and there I was dealing with something I considered under the blood.
Ricky was one of my hero’s. I say was because Ricky has passed from this life.
He was my first cousin. Fresh out of high school he took a job as a school teacher and girl’s basketball coach in a small town in Louisiana and promptly took a team that couldn’t manage a winning record to the state champion ship. He was Rookie coach of the year in the state.
As time progressed he won several state titles, became head coach for the girls team in DeRidder La. Then principle of the high school and was being groomed to become the superintendent of the school district. He was also the pastor of a Baptist church.
In my generation of the family, Rickey was the undisputed leader. He was about 8 years older than me, and as kids, when all of us were together, Rickey was the leader. We all traipsed after him. We did what he wanted to do.
His life was a difficult road. His father died in 1970 from cancer when he was about 9 or so. He went on to be a star basket ball player, and eventually earned a PhD in education, along with the other accomplishments listed.
What we didn’t know was that he suffered from depression. Anyway something happened and some funds from a band booster club was deposited into the wrong account. The total was $400. The School district CPA caught the mistake and called Rickey and they got it all straightened out.
Well someone with an ax to grind called the Lake Charles Press and a reporter started looking into things. What he found was exactly what I have recounted but the way he wrote the story in the paper, he made my cousin look like a thief. It just happened that this coincided with a bout of depression. Rickey took is own life.
Did I tell you that loved my cousin? He was a childhood hero. But I had a fellow to blame. This reporter could have done the right thing and either printed without sensationalism the truth, or could have simply said there was no story. I really wanted to get my hands on that fellow. I don’t mind telling you that it took some serious prayer and soul searching to get it out of my heart. But I did…. Until last night.
I found myself sitting in a dark living room, computer off, everyone else in bed, and me full of anger. Need to ask my mom what that guys name is. Wonder if he still works at the LC Press? The mind will take a fellow down dark ally ways. Then there was this little voice “old things are passed away aren’t they?” “I thought the old man was buried?”
I’m sorry Lord. I sure am letting this dead and buried bitterness out of the grave aren’t I? I don’t want to ever be bitter. I don’t ever want to carry something like that in my soul. Nothing is worth having a root of bitterness wrap its ugly arms around my heart get between you and I. forgive me. I FORGIVE HIM.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
ferd my man, you are doing the right thing, when the old man rises up kill him again, with the love and passion of our lord Jesus, i understand completely how you feel, i have had people i trusted that were very close to me hurt me and betray even my personal trust, but for my sake, not theres i forgive them,and when i think about it, i forgive them again, it is liberating, god bless you bro, dt
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A product of a pentecostal raisin, I am a hard man, just ask my children
Tell me, what do you do when you recognize that the feelings you have towards hurtful people is not rooted in bitterness, but in anger?
I find it very hard to forgive people who are hell-bent on my personal destruction for no other reason than I disagree with them. And just when my anger abates, and I think I am over it, I find out those same people are off hurting someone else - just like they hurt me.
What do I do with that, Ferd?
Why is it that the victims of religious assassins are told to forgive and forget while the assassins themselves are off looking for their next target?
Ferd, maybe that is why Paul said he died daily, the old man likes to raise up.
You are doing the right thing.
Blessings to you.
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Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.
Tell me, what do you do when you recognize that the feelings you have towards hurtful people is not rooted in bitterness, but in anger?
I find it very hard to forgive people who are hell-bent on my personal destruction for no other reason than I disagree with them. And just when my anger abates, and I think I am over it, I find out those same people are off hurting someone else - just like they hurt me.
What do I do with that, Ferd?
Why is it that the victims of religious assassins are told to forgive and forget while the assassins themselves are off looking for their next target?
this is what I know AE. there are 2 places in the scripture where Jesus tells his followers that about faith the size of a grain of mustard seed.
the first time, they come in contact with a child that is a lunatick. the disciples try to cast out the devil and fail. Jesus casts out the devil and says:
Mt17:20
Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
The second is much more interesting to me.
In Luke 17 Jesus opens with "Offences will come. In other words, people will talk bad about you. they will use you and mistreat you.
Jesus says rebuke him and if he asks forgiveness, forgive. and if he returns to his evil ways and repents to you 7 times a day, forgive him every time.
The disciples say "Increase our faith"
then Jesus talks of the sycamore tree, and how it can be plucked up by the roots
No matter what the source of the problem is, faith is the answer.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
The letter always kills... and the spirit gives life.
This type of thing happens way too often both spiritually and physically.
Someone recounted that, by the letter of the law, things were mishandled even if by simple error... the letter still cries... mishandled.
The spirit recognizes this was a simple mistake and anyone could have done the same thing.
If this story does anything let it remind us to lay our hands firmly on the scale that weighs by spirit and keeps ourselves far from the scale that weighs by the letter because the former gives life and the latter only destroys.
Wonderful post....like rgcraig said...beautiful on so many levels. Isn't it wonderful we can share things like this with each other and find love and acceptance?
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