How can a person learn to trust again?

JaneEyre · #1 01-12-2008, 07:31 PM

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary - to look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?

#2 01-12-2008, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneEyre

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary. To look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?

There are some good support groups out there including spiritualabuse.org if you are interested in that.

I took a few months off church after I left the UPCI. It was a good time for healing to take place with God. After that I found a great church that was spirit filled that didn't condemn or preach you are going to hell over subjective things, but they focused on building you up in the Lord.

There are MANY good churches out there. Sometimes you can get into a good small group that meets at someone's home. These are starting to really sprout up everywhere.

Depending on your situation, it could take a while to heal. What I learned is to never fully put my trust in another man, but only Jesus. Man fails where God never does.

Wish you well.

Rev · #3 01-12-2008, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneEyre

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary - to look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?

I'm affraid the church is much like the world. There are good pastors and there are bad pastors. there are good people and there are bad people. I think that anyone that has been in church for very long has had some bad experiences. I could tell a few stories myself. But you need to find a good church will good people and there are many of those. The longer you stay out the harder it will be to go back. So find one soon. God and prayer can heal the hurt.

dizzyde · #4 01-12-2008, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneEyre

There are those who would tell me I am backslidden. I no longer attend church regularly. My last experience in church ended in my trust being violated by preachers. Don't ask for details. I'm not looking for pity or even empathy. I don't want to be viewed as a victim and I'm not wanting to discredit anyone. I would never relate specifics on a forum.

My desire for God and church is not gone. I still believe I have a relationship with God but I am afraid and reluctant to try to begin again with a group of believers.

Do I know Christ? Yes. Do I love Him? Yes. Do I want to serve Him? Yes.
This has continued for months. The only road home is back to Calvary - to look at the sacrifice and know it was personally for me but I can't live at the foot of Calvary. I am told I need to go back to church. Back to where the knives were placed into my back. Will someone please tell me that the wounds will someday heal?

I have been down a similar road, and from my perspective, yes, they will heal.
If you keep your prayer life up, and stay in the word, and if you have a open heart, I believe God will lead you to the right pastor/church. If you are being told to return to the same church, well only you can decide if what you experienced there is something that you can get past, or even if you should.

The most important thing that I can say to you is to fight bitterness at all costs. It is a poison and it will consume and control every part of your life. Choose forgiveness.

You cannot allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but you also cannot judge all people by the behavior of a few.

RevDWW · #5 01-12-2008, 08:02 PM

Trust, but verify. As the trust is proven over time you'll learn to trust. Use your experience as a lesson to figure out how to tell who you can trust. Trust is something that is earned. Sometimes we freely give it to those that have not earned it and some violate that trust. You be trustworthy no matter who is not!

Revelationist · #6 01-12-2008, 08:27 PM

When we fail to trust, it's because we've put up walls... doing so, we wall out God in the process... we have to learn to trust again... I've been through it myself...