You Might Be Apostolic IF...

Rhoni · #1 03-21-2008, 09:18 AM

1. The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.

2. Your Pastor announces midweek services EVERY Sunday night.

3. You (or the ladies you know) can swim in a denim skirt and still have fun.

4. Your brother or sister in the Lord husgs you right in the middle of Wal-Mart

5. the musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.

6. You have 50 pairs of church shoes.

7. You can stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.
8. You are considered an old maid if you are not married by the age 25.
9. You consider BibleCollege as higher education.
10. Running the aisle and jumping up and down is part of your excercise program.
11. A birthday party is a night on the town.
12. You could be an Olympic volleyball player with all the practice from church functions
or the Grand Champion washer pitcher.
13. The pastor says, "With this thought, I close" or "And I'm closing now." more than 3 times.
14. Your church choir moves like Kirk Franklin's group.
15. You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.
16. Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.
17. A run in your last pair of stocking is a national disaster.
18. You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and disheveled hair.
19. Your kids know how to eat any crunchy food quietly.
20. When shopping for skirts, you always run it through the "Praise the Lord", test.
21. Sunday means no cooking and no dish washing.
22. You can maneuver into a vehicle without messing up your hairdo.
23. Celebrating your 18th & 21st birthday doesn't mean much.
24. The employees at the local restaurant know you by name.
25. You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.
26. You can pronounce, Habakkuk.
27. Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays are the hardest days to wake up in the morning.
28. Your day of rest includes 2 church services, choir practice and Golden Corral.
29. Growing up you baptize your cousins and sibblings several times in the swimming pool.
30.When your kids have baptized their dolls, cats and dogs.
31. You hear singing, shouting, and preaching from your childs bedroom to their stuffed animals or dolls.
32. Your 4 year old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, "Praise the Lord! *clap*clap*clap* Yes, Lord!, Thank
You Jesus! or Hallelujah!"
33. Your tan line is below the knees.
34. You have made, eaten, or sold more than your fair share of peanut brittle.
35. When camp meeting or general conference is your family's yearly planned vacation.

missdkendall · #2 03-21-2008, 09:33 AM

Oh yeah... Totally my life

missdkendall · #3 03-21-2008, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missdkendall

Oh yeah... Totally my life

You also know you are Apostolic, if your Pastor's wife stands at the platform with a ruler to messure the split in you skirt!!!!

Or you get in trouble for saying Easter instead of Resurrection Sunday

LadyChocolate · #4 03-21-2008, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missdkendall

You also know you are Apostolic, if your Pastor's wife stands at the platform with a ruler to messure the split in you skirt!!!!

Or you get in trouble for saying Easter instead of Resurrection Sunday

You are allowed to have splits

Our assistand pastor used to carry safety pins around with her for our splits!!! If they were above the knee, they were pinned!

She was precious... That was years ago and believe me, some of the splits were sky high!

missdkendall · #5 03-21-2008, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyChocolate

You are allowed to have splits

Our assistand pastor used to carry safety pins around with her for our splits!!! If they were above the knee, they were pinned!

She was precious... That was years ago and believe me, some of the splits were sky high!

ROFLOL!!!! My grandma did that to us when we were younger. She said if you step on the platform, and can see the bend of your knee, either pin it, sew it, or don't wear it!!!