New here, with a question.

[Holy Ghost HH]

Originally Posted by Seeking

No. Everyone is polite. You just feel like an outsider all the time. At first people seem to be very warm and hopeful you will "develop as a new convert". Over time they seem polite but a little uncomfortable. It almost seems awkward to them as well. If that makes sense.

First, most pastors preach THEIR convictions as Godly standards. This becomes an issue when people read the Bible because they don't see slieve length or facial hair requirements in it. So you begin to feel "different" and either conform of be set aside for those "getting it". Don't think this hasn't been studied over the years. Remember when you look around standards differ from area churches and regonal churches. But the apostle stated he preached the same gospel ever where he went. So it's about the gospel not the pastors convictions on rings, slieve length, or facial hair.

Second, the people are only acting or teaching what they only know. Standards come from the pulpit so it is not the saints. I for one don't think anyone will go to hell if they have a mustache or a t shirt when they breath that last breath.

[Holy Ghost HH]

Originally Posted by J.A. Perez

I respectfully disagree,
That is not wonderful to hear.

I was only suggesting a way that she might win her husband. I don’t believe changing churches to pacify a lack of hunger for God her husband has is the option. Or the lack of desire he has to learn the whys and why not’s to abstain from certain things. Holiness is definitely an outward sign of an inward condition.
If you have God on the inside (the heart) He will show up on the outside, just like if you have the world on the inside(the heart) the world will show up on the outside.
But the way she might help her husband is to pray, council with the pastor, expose him to more of church and fellowship, along with 1Pet 3:1,2. In order to help cultivate a desire to please God by falling in love with Him.

Sincerely,
J.A. Perez

So, tell me, when was slieve length preached against in scripture? Don't go all holiness on the inside shows up in clothing. It shows up in your testimony you are giving and changed life. Lots of sinners die covered. The issue is non biblical standards. Preachers are not to Lord over the flock. If standards where a salvation issue all apostolics would preach the same standards. Jesus drank wine but now you hear wine is grape juice. Always remember, God saved the world thru Christ not standards. The church started with him and will end with him.

[obriencp]

Originally Posted by Seeking

Well..... We fell out of church all together. I still pray and speak in tongues, but I am not as strong as I am in church. I don't think we have been in church for a few months and "going it alone" has become difficult. I was not able to achieve an agreeable compromise with my husband. I cannot lead him and we are going no where. Any constructive advise is welcome. I am so discouraged. Months of praying has not moved this situation.

Originally Posted by Seeking

Rudy-
Thank you for responding. That may be a good option for me, but will leave our daughter raised Baptist. That may be the only option left.

Seeking, correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as if the holiness standards preaching and the cold shoulders of the congregation damaged your husbands faith to the point of leaving? If so, that is a very sad situation.

I pray you both can find a church or at least some good christian families to fellowship with. There are plenty of people out there that have also been hurt by similar situations, just be careful about bitterness taking root. I'm not at all familiar with your area, but it sounds as if there aren't too many churches/options.

Be encouraged, keep praying, God sees you.

[Seeking]

Originally Posted by obriencp

Seeking, correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as if the holiness standards preaching and the cold shoulders of the congregation damaged your husbands faith to the point of leaving? If so, that is a very sad situation.

I pray you both can find a church or at least some good christian families to fellowship with. There are plenty of people out there that have also been hurt by similar situations, just be careful about bitterness taking root. I'm not at all familiar with your area, but it sounds as if there aren't too many churches/options.

Be encouraged, keep praying, God sees you.

I am not bitter at all. I just feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. Leading (not scriptural for a woman to do) or following (hard to find a place I feel comfortable doctrinally).

[Godsdrummer]

Originally Posted by Seeking

Thank you, I certainly hope so. We have almost stopped attending church all together. I don't want to fall out of church, I just want a workable solution. Prior to our attending a UPC church, my spouse was much more open to participating in church (it was non denominational). I just don't feel very comfortable in a trinitarian church. I don't think it would confuse me, but it would confuse our child. I just feel like we have hit a brick wall. I sincerely need some suggestions.

Sorry is I repeat something that has been said already, I just saw this thread and stopped reading when I got to this post.

I would like to address your last point. First I was raised UPC, was in ministry for over 25 years, raised 4 children that all have a close relationship with God today. That being said, when my youngest was in high school, her best friend invited her to a youth function at her church, Assembly of God. I explained the difference between the teaching of the trinity and oneness and let her go. As my wife and I had just cut ties at that time with UPC and were conducting our own services in starting a church of our own, we were pretty much where you are now.
To make a long story short, my wife and I began to attend this church, and the difference between the trinity and oneness never became an issue.
The point is your child will not become confused if teach him/her at home and don't judge those that do not understand the Godhead as you.
Most trinitarian churches hardly ever if not never teach on the subject of the trinity in the first place.

[Godsdrummer]

Originally Posted by Seeking

Rudy-
Thank you for responding. That may be a good option for me, but will leave our daughter raised Baptist. That may be the only option left.

There are worse things that could happen than having your daughter raised Baptist.

[Seeking]

Originally Posted by Godsdrummer

Sorry is I repeat something that has been said already, I just saw this thread and stopped reading when I got to this post.

I would like to address your last point. First I was raised UPC, was in ministry for over 25 years, raised 4 children that all have a close relationship with God today. That being said, when my youngest was in high school, her best friend invited her to a youth function at her church, Assembly of God. I explained the difference between the teaching of the trinity and oneness and let her go. As my wife and I had just cut ties at that time with UPC and were conducting our own services in starting a church of our own, we were pretty much where you are now.
To make a long story short, my wife and I began to attend this church, and the difference between the trinity and oneness never became an issue.
The point is your child will not become confused if teach him/her at home and don't judge those that do not understand the Godhead as you.
Most trinitarian churches hardly ever if not never teach on the subject of the trinity in the first place.

That is a very good point.

[J.A. Perez]

Good grief

[Jesusistheonly]

their aren't many standards for men to follow as far as dress.

I think the question is, 'Do you believe the standards are biblical and correct?'

If you are convinced that the doctrine is correct you should live out your convictions regardless of what your husband believes. Our sole goal is to please God. We encourage participation and involvement, but not at the expense of letting go of holiness standards, that would just not be Apostolic at all, nor biblical.

[Jesusistheonly]

The gift of salvation through the new birth is free, but once we get it God expects us to protect it and nurture it.
Standards are a way to protect what God has given us from things that can be harmful. Some standards are specifically spelled out in scripture while others are left up to interpretation to a point.

Modest apparel for instance. For the sake of unity the Pastor has to draw a line somewhere. Different Pastors may vary in some small way. Like sleeve length. In California the churches tell their men not to wear pink. In a world that is trying to blend genders I can see why. The Bible strictly says that a woman should not wear men's clothing and visa versa. There's supposed to be a distinction in the sexes. Sometimes it has to do with culture. In Thailand people will get offended if you wear a tie. So they don't wear ties.

For someone that wants to please God standards should not be an issue.