New here, with a question.

[J.A. Perez]

Originally Posted by Seeking

Hello-
I am new to this forum and thought I would ask a question.
I was raised apostolic in the AMF (AFC) and am married to someone who was raised Southern Baptist. We have recently been attending a UPC church, but we are finding it to be a difficult fit. My spouse has been baptized in Jesus Name and received the Holy Ghost, but does not believe many of the holiness standards are scriptural. Because we do not comply with the preached holiness standards, we feel like "perpetual visitors" that do not fit. For me, attending a trinitarian church is not an option. For my spouse, living an apostolic lifestyle is not an option. Are there more progressive churches that are still oneness? Can anyone refer me to a church that might fit our family? We live in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Thank you in advance.

Hello,
I sympathize with your struggle, When my wife first got in church, standards were a huge issue for her. My first pastor didn't preach standards at all. So I wasn't much help. We moved to California and under the recommendation of my first pastor we went to church with Bro. Klann. I just submitted to the teaching and prayed. I met with my pastor time and time again over Standards of Holiness. He preached it and I was hungry. After my wife received the Holy Ghost things became easier, but the battle wasn't over. I got ahold of preaching tapes, prayed more and asked God if all this was necessary. Soon we realized that we were at and around church and fellowship so much that we no longer watched TV. So we canceled our Cable service. Then we were never home long enough to watch movies on VHS. So we got rid of the TV. I was a sports fanatic and we loved to watch Soul Train' but after being around Church and the people of God so much and listening to preaching, We lost our desire for sports and disco dancing. Then God showed me dancing was to be done for him and in his presence, he also showed me that The heroes of sports are nothing more than a replacement for the Heroes of the faith, namely men like Joshua, Moses, Daniel, Job etc...
The more time I spent in prayer and around people of like precious faith the easier it became. I encouraged my wife to spend time with the older ladies in our church. Old Sister Flonnie Webb was a huge influence to her and I. She was an old time retired Evangelist, her and her husband blazed trails across America in the 50's 60'sand 70's.
We soon fell in love with pleasing the Lord. Standards were not an issue for us after that. There wasn't a preacher that could preach it hard enough. We would live it because we loved it and still do.
All I can say sis is, don't leave the church you are going to, no matter how hard it gets. Don't go to a Trinitarian church no matter what anyone on this forum says. In fact the bible says along with Peace, to pursue Holiness, run it down , chase after it. Never back away from it.

I have scripture for your situation that might help, 1st Pet chapter 3 vs 1 and 2
1. Likewise ye wives be in subjections to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2. While they behold your chased conversation coupled with fear.

This is the bibles recipe, how a woman wins her lost husband to God.
Your behavior, actions and all manner of lifestyle will be a testimony to him and will intern win him to God.

We will be praying for you and your husband.

[Hesetmefree238]

There are UPC churches where you could still fit in. Our church doesn't hammer folks from the outside with standards. We live it and we love people and try to make them feel welcome. My mother never came around to the UPC hair position, but she received the HG and attended our church for 20 years until her death. We have several families that don't conform to the Pentecostal look, but they are very much a part of our church.

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by Hesetmefree238

There are UPC churches where you could still fit in. Our church doesn't hammer folks from the outside with standards. We live it and we love people and try to make them feel welcome. My mother never came around to the UPC hair position, but she received the HG and attended our church for 20 years until her death. We have several families that don't conform to the Pentecostal look, but they are very much a part of our church.

That is wonderful to hear! Holiness is not about an outward standard, but an inward heart of righteousness from the Lord. It is His goodness that makes us good, not our clothing. Although of course, I believe our outward appearance will reflect the light from the spirit of Christ residing within us.

[J.A. Perez]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

That is wonderful to hear! Holiness is not about an outward standard, but an inward heart of righteousness from the Lord. It is His goodness that makes us good, not our clothing. Although of course, I believe our outward appearance will reflect the light from the spirit of Christ residing within us.

I respectfully disagree,
That is not wonderful to hear.

I was only suggesting a way that she might win her husband. I don’t believe changing churches to pacify a lack of hunger for God her husband has is the option. Or the lack of desire he has to learn the whys and why not’s to abstain from certain things. Holiness is definitely an outward sign of an inward condition.
If you have God on the inside (the heart) He will show up on the outside, just like if you have the world on the inside(the heart) the world will show up on the outside.
But the way she might help her husband is to pray, council with the pastor, expose him to more of church and fellowship, along with 1Pet 3:1,2. In order to help cultivate a desire to please God by falling in love with Him.

Sincerely,
J.A. Perez

[Seeking]

I appreciate the advice. We are still attending the same church maybe 2-3 services a month. We have dwindled from attending every service to what I consider sporadic attendance. We haven't changed churches, he hasn't decided to stop attending. It is just becoming incredibly difficult to keep trudging. It has been over two years since he got the Holy Ghost and we are losing traction, not gaining traction. He just seems less connected as time goes on.

[shazeep]

Originally Posted by Hesetmefree238

We live it

i thought this was wonderful too

[Seeking]

Well..... We fell out of church all together. I still pray and speak in tongues, but I am not as strong as I am in church. I don't think we have been in church for a few months and "going it alone" has become difficult. I was not able to achieve an agreeable compromise with my husband. I cannot lead him and we are going no where. Any constructive advise is welcome. I am so discouraged. Months of praying has not moved this situation.

[Rudy]

Well, if you feel comfortable going to a church that YOU can live with then you should go. If your husband does not want to go that is his decision. If he wants to go to a baptist church go with him ever so often.

[Seeking]

Rudy-
Thank you for responding. That may be a good option for me, but will leave our daughter raised Baptist. That may be the only option left.

[Rudy]

Originally Posted by Seeking

Rudy-
Thank you for responding. That may be a good option for me, but will leave our daughter raised Baptist. That may be the only option left.

Take comfort in knowing when God calls it doesn't matter, he is able.

Baptist, Catholic or whatever.