Alienated Church: Father's and Mother's day

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by Charnock

What if everyone stayed home but children during revivals geared toward children?

What if no one but youth attended youth services?

What if we only attended the funerals of family members?

I thought church was about community.

Silly idea, I guess.

Unfortunately it's not always community that is at the root of some of these services... In our case the mother's day service was about raising money for the ministry and 'honoring' those who gave the most money... how is that about community or about anything wholesome or Christ-like?

Even if my family had all been in church, and even if my pockets were very deep (and actually at this place in my life I could afford to buy the mother of the year if it interested me)... I would still find it lame and disgusting to sell the mother of the year honor while so many others mothers selflessly, faithfully and quietly mother their children through trials that include poverty. It was the first service I started skipping on principle, and I know a lot of other women who did as well.

Absolutely vulgar...

Yes the church is about community... and ministry needs to remember that.

[Whole Hearted]

Originally Posted by Charnock

Wow! I cannot imagine having so much hate in my heart for the traditional family that I despised churches who honor those roles. This seems like an extremely "me first" mindset which views church as a buffet.

[Whole Hearted]

God bless brother Nathan Dudly. He is a fine man of God.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Hoovie

Prax,
it's imperative as a member of the modern day churches, that one develop the art of selective hearing - rejecting the salmonella and other festering poisons and carefully recieve the rest for later digestion. I personally practice this, and like water of a ducks back have sat nodding politely through entire sermons that I had no intention of receiving as gospel. I practice it at all times and Mother's Day or Father's Day is no different.

Too funny! From now on I am going to start categorizing in my mind.

Salmonella

festering poison

[Renee29]

This doesn't sound right at all! I would be very uncomfortable with this type of service. We have a mother's day service, but have stopped the gift giving. I can't recall what all the mother's received at the end of service. I think it was a cookie. I thought our Mother's Day service was very inspiring. It was about a mother's prayers, but praying applies to everyone.

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

Unfortunately it's not always community that is at the root of some of these services... In our case the mother's day service was about raising money for the ministry and 'honoring' those who gave the most money... how is that about community or about anything wholesome or Christ-like?

Even if my family had all been in church, and even if my pockets were very deep (and actually at this place in my life I could afford to buy the mother of the year if it interested me)... I would still find it lame and disgusting to sell the mother of the year honor while so many others mothers selflessly, faithfully and quietly mother their children through trials that include poverty. It was the first service I started skipping on principle, and I know a lot of other women who did as well.

Absolutely vulgar...

Yes the church is about community... and ministry needs to remember that.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

Unfortunately it's not always community that is at the root of some of these services... In our case the mother's day service was about raising money for the ministry and 'honoring' those who gave the most money... how is that about community or about anything wholesome or Christ-like?

Even if my family had all been in church, and even if my pockets were very deep (and actually at this place in my life I could afford to buy the mother of the year if it interested me)... I would still find it lame and disgusting to sell the mother of the year honor while so many others mothers selflessly, faithfully and quietly mother their children through trials that include poverty. It was the first service I started skipping on principle, and I know a lot of other women who did as well.

Absolutely vulgar...

Yes the church is about community... and ministry needs to remember that.

I agree, that's in very poor taste.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

It's just one day a year, Prax. Instead of worrying about how you don't fit in, strive to honor other church "fathers" who are great mentors and definitely honor your heavenly Father.

.

I think some of you are missing the point. The service I speak of has nothing to do with honoring the heavenly father (or mother). It's a father's/mother's day parade.

Second it's NOT just about me. You guys might not be aware but there are LOTS AND LOTS of alienated people sitting on our pews.

We have kids in our church whose fathers are in prison, whose fathers are just plain gone and they are supposed to just sit there and small while everyone elses dad is praised. I don't mind telling you that they feel like you know what...

I can go on and on with the many people who are ALIENATED. I posted a verse earlier where Paul chastised people for eating their meals in church while others went hungry. He told them to eat at home. I feel the same way. You want to honor your dad or your husband...why do the rest of have to be forced to somehow validate that simply because we are "outsiders" for that service? The disenfranchised? I don't go because no father there gives a you know what whether Im there or not to do nothing but watch their father's day parade.

I believe that is insensitive. People don't need to have the entire church validate your or anyone elses father's day. You want to celebrate father's day? That's none of my business but this is supposed to be a church service. We have visitors coming to hear the word of God and instead they got a parade.

We have a couple new converts needing to be fed..single men with no kids and their father is not around and they are expected to sit there and smile and honor someone elses father?

Im sorry but that is absurd. Let's have church. People can celebrate father's day in their homes.

BTW it's once a year for fathers, once a year for mothers and zero times a year for the rest of us...

So anyways, I went to my friends church because another friend of mine was going to be in town and preaching. My pastor friend said the preaching would be just good old holy ghost preaching. At my home church it was just one long program.

At my friends church we had a visiting family and at the end we prayed with them and the woman received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. I prayed with them (despite being called selfish). We ministered to each other. It was not just a parade and a mad dash to Outback or BBQs.

That's what Im talking about.

Visitors need to hear the gospel especially if those visitors are not fathers or have fathers with them. We are alienating a LOT of people not to mention even those who are fathers that don't believe the church service should be canned for a program.

[Truthseeker]

My wifes father is a dead beat, she refers to by first name. I am going risk her if the father day services are insensitive to see what she thinks. I do know it's not a happy time for her

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Charnock

Wow! I cannot imagine having so much hate in my heart for the traditional family that I despised churches who honor those roles. This seems like an extremely "me first" mindset which views church as a buffet.

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

*sigh*


And substantive discussion ends with the jump to hating the traditional family.

Oh well.

Thank you. And if anyone with half a brain really read what I posted I said

"I personally don't mind a "nod" to Mothers or Fathers but when the entire service is a celebration for Mothers and Fathers it's alienating to the rest of us. I have to also wonder about visitors when there is no gospel message but instead we have to endure an hour or so of pretty speeches, gift givings to only a special few and a 30 min video presentation."

So go ahead and honor them but good grief do we have to push Jesus and the rest of the church aside and turn the entire service into one hour long parade? No of course not! I've been to churches where the honor mothers and fathers but it was discrete and did not take over the entire church service. But instead they had CHURCH, preached a message to the entire church and had an altar call like any other day, giving place not only for fathers and mothers but the rest of us and most importantly VISITORS to do more than watch a parade but be prayed for.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Barb

This is excellent!

Today my pastor mentioned Father's Day several times, but also the men of the church who may not be fathers, but play a great role in the Church.

His message was about fathers AND tied in with our heavenly Father...great service AND altar service.

Yeah please people read what I posted. Im talking about one big program. No food for all men as spiritual fathers and natural fathers (or women) but just one long program for fathers (men with kids) and if there is a "message", it's basically just a quick thing before the mad dash to BBQs or outback

We can honor fathers and mothers while ministering to the whole body or not alienating a large part of the church