Quote:
Originally Posted by Apostolic1ness
Can you name some of those things reported to be laid out by the Apostles but are not scripture?
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Dinner on the grounds shalt include barbeque (the real stuff) and mashed taters.
Let him who playeth a fiddle keep silent in church, unless there be also both a banjo and banjo player present.
Let your women crank it up on the Hammond, no limits on the volume level.
Wherever two or more are gathered together AND HAVE AT LEAST ONE TAMBOURINE, thou shalt have church.
Wood floors preferred (for exercising the gift of foot stompin').
Snakes optional. Rattlers not included.
Helicopter whirl ONLY if wearing a wig/toupee.
Guitar players must wear plaid, long sleeve work shirts, and Justin boots.
No southern accent? Not to be on the platform, but git in that pray'r lahn, gonna have some hands a-laid on ya.
Preachers must have mouth ON microphone when speaking, and sound man SHALL set both gain and volume to "11".
I'm sure there's more. At least, prolly oughtta be more.