How to deal with cheating husband - Page 5

ILG · #41 05-18-2013, 09:42 AM

What always wigs me out about Pat Robertson videos is he always has this dumb female sitting there. For example, in this video, look at how he asks for the woman's opinion and then he just kind of brushes it off and when he does the woman just hangs her head.

Revelationist · #42 05-18-2013, 09:48 AM

Wonder if he's speaking from personal experience?

Nitehawk013 · #43 05-20-2013, 05:15 AM

It's interesting that from that one small sample video so many have deduced that the husband is a serial adulterer, regularly unfaithful, non-repentant, terrible human being. Yet form this same small sample, this woman is a poor, downtrodden, saintly woman overflowing with the love of Jesus just simply struggling with forgiveness.

We get almost no details of the people involved. All we KNOW for certain from the video is that there was 1 affair for sure. The couple has gone to, and it sounds like completed, counselling. The husband is still in the home. The wife will not forgive and let the relationship move past this moral failure that happened at some time in the past. That is all the facts we have. The woman admits SHE is the one who won't let it move on. SHE won't let the husband off the hook for his failure.

Pat may be stupid with the whole "boys wi8ll be boys" mantra, but he is dead on about the rest. SHE needs to get over it and move on if she wants the marriage to survive. Based only on what was said in that small statement in the video, this is the woman who is hindering restoration. Maybe there is more going on behind the scenes, but we don't know. If this was a trial and we were the jury, we would be told we ONLY have the facts of that video to go on since that is all we know. Her own words reveal she is the one who will not really forgive. Pat just called her out on it. Heaven forbid!

What we do know is that this thread just looks like a huge "dogpile on the scumbag men" load of nonsense.

OnTheFritz · #44 05-20-2013, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by "Nitehawk013

What we do know is that this thread just looks like a huge "dogpile on the scumbag men" load of nonsense.

There may be some of that, but I think it's mostly just a reaction to Pat's statements. I personally find adultery deplorable, so I am probably more quick to pile on than I should be. My reaction would be the same if it were a woman.

ILG · #45 05-20-2013, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

It's interesting that from that one small sample video so many have deduced that the husband is a serial adulterer, regularly unfaithful, non-repentant, terrible human being. Yet form this same small sample, this woman is a poor, downtrodden, saintly woman overflowing with the love of Jesus just simply struggling with forgiveness.

We get almost no details of the people involved. All we KNOW for certain from the video is that there was 1 affair for sure. The couple has gone to, and it sounds like completed, counselling. The husband is still in the home. The wife will not forgive and let the relationship move past this moral failure that happened at some time in the past. That is all the facts we have. The woman admits SHE is the one who won't let it move on. SHE won't let the husband off the hook for his failure.

Pat may be stupid with the whole "boys wi8ll be boys" mantra, but he is dead on about the rest. SHE needs to get over it and move on if she wants the marriage to survive. Based only on what was said in that small statement in the video, this is the woman who is hindering restoration. Maybe there is more going on behind the scenes, but we don't know. If this was a trial and we were the jury, we would be told we ONLY have the facts of that video to go on since that is all we know. Her own words reveal she is the one who will not really forgive. Pat just called her out on it. Heaven forbid!

What we do know is that this thread just looks like a huge "dogpile on the scumbag men" load of nonsense.

You may be right. It could be that this woman who has been betrayed just wants to hold on and on to her bitterness. However, she went to counselling too. So, I suspect that is not what she wants. She keeps asking for help.

Titus2woman · #46 05-20-2013, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

It's interesting that from that one small sample video so many have deduced that the husband is a serial adulterer, regularly unfaithful, non-repentant, terrible human being. Yet form this same small sample, this woman is a poor, downtrodden, saintly woman overflowing with the love of Jesus just simply struggling with forgiveness.

We get almost no details of the people involved. All we KNOW for certain from the video is that there was 1 affair for sure. The couple has gone to, and it sounds like completed, counselling. The husband is still in the home. The wife will not forgive and let the relationship move past this moral failure that happened at some time in the past. That is all the facts we have. The woman admits SHE is the one who won't let it move on. SHE won't let the husband off the hook for his failure.

Pat may be stupid with the whole "boys wi8ll be boys" mantra, but he is dead on about the rest. SHE needs to get over it and move on if she wants the marriage to survive. Based only on what was said in that small statement in the video, this is the woman who is hindering restoration. Maybe there is more going on behind the scenes, but we don't know. If this was a trial and we were the jury, we would be told we ONLY have the facts of that video to go on since that is all we know. Her own words reveal she is the one who will not really forgive. Pat just called her out on it. Heaven forbid!

What we do know is that this thread just looks like a huge "dogpile on the scumbag men" load of nonsense.

I was suprised that anyone felt able to give ANY advice based on what was known about this couple... I will say though that for there to be healing in the marriage BOTH parties have to be made whole again...not just him being allowed forgiveness and trust, or her getting over her anger or bitterness. This kind of betrayal is sometimes just not fixable... some people already have hang ups and scars and a deep lack of self confidence... for them an affair shatters and devastates in ways that it might not to another.

One dear friend of mine demanded a full confession from her husband... She tells me those details then became like a movie in her head that played over and over... He had done things with and for his mistress that he had never done with or for her and she just could not get over feeling unloved and like his second choice (the mistress ended the affair when they were caught). They did divorce and really in that case I have to say I think it was for the best... She was already someone with low self esteem due to childhood issues. She now has a wonderful godly husband who loves her completely and because of the security of his love she has grown in ways that I never thought possible.

Every situation is just so different... how can one hope to be a help on a TV program?

Aquila · #47 05-20-2013, 10:31 AM

All I can say is... if after discovering a husband's affair, should a woman wants to keep her marriage she should begin praying and fasting for her husband, praying that God might bring him to repentance. She should also strive to be everything a faithful wife should be, thus leaving him no room to justify his behavior and to demonstrate her unfailing love for him.

Otherwise, she's within her rights to divorce.

Marriage counseling is a good thing to encourage if a man is remorseful.

Michlow · #48 05-20-2013, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

My marriage is a sad case if my wife feels like she has to do certain things to keep me from cheating. She should do things because I am her husband and any adonrment/make pretty should be based on desire for me as her husband not to keep me right.

I was told (it was actually by a Poster here several years ago) that I had made a horrible mistake marrying an Atheist. (that statement wouldn't have surprised me, if he'd pulled out the equally yoked scripture)

His reasoning was that if my husband didn't believe in God...more particularly judgment and hell, then what was to prevent him from being unfaithful to me? My response: because I'm awesome!

But seriously, what wife would want her husband to be faithful only because he thought he would be going to hell otherwise?

RandyWayne · #49 05-20-2013, 11:54 AM

Going back to Pat's original "advice". All I can say is at least he didn't tell her to do what Latka's wife Simca felt she had to do in order to repair things.
Said to Alex, “Now peel me like a grape so I can get out of here.”

seguidordejesus · #50 05-20-2013, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

What always wigs me out about Pat Robertson videos is he always has this dumb female sitting there. For example, in this video, look at how he asks for the woman's opinion and then he just kind of brushes it off and when he does the woman just hangs her head.

Saw that...really sad.