Widowed Preachers & Remarriage - Page 5

AreYouReady? · #41 06-20-2012, 08:18 PM

Yeah Cindy, you tell him!

Why defy gravity? Why defy age?
I'd rather just use the insurance money for my pleasure than to try to please another man.
heh heh heh!

Houston deserves a smack for that comment.

CC1 · #42 06-20-2012, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

So your going to be this guy?

LOL!!!

Bella1 · #43 06-21-2012, 08:01 AM

My dad has been in BAD health for many years. My siblings and I all agree that if Dad were to pass (and we do want our Dad around for a LONG time) that we would want our Mom to remarry right away.

No one should grow old without having a partner to be with. And the same thing with my Dad. If Mom passed first, we are going to go get Dad a second wife.

We LOVE our parents but know that both of them would want SOMEONE to be in their home and life always.

Dordrecht · #44 06-21-2012, 08:39 AM

Quote:

No one should grow old without having a partner to be with.

Why do you talk about "partner"??
Isn't this suppose to be "wife" or "husband"??

Has the word "partner" now weaseled it's way into the church??

Isn't that word usually mentioned by fornicators?

RandyWayne · #45 06-21-2012, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella1

My dad has been in BAD health for many years. My siblings and I all agree that if Dad were to pass (and we do want our Dad around for a LONG time) that we would want our Mom to remarry right away.

No one should grow old without having a partner to be with. And the same thing with my Dad. If Mom passed first, we are going to go get Dad a second wife.

We LOVE our parents but know that both of them would want SOMEONE to be in their home and life always.

In either case, are you sure you know their types? LOL

Bro. Robbins · #46 06-21-2012, 10:21 AM

To hopefully get us back on topic....

This was specifically asking about ministers. I think we also have to take into consideration beyond the children.... the congregation as well. If a pastor has been there a long time, that pastor and pastor's wife could very well be considered spiritual parents to that church.

For example, take a pastor and his wife that have been there 30 years or more, which are situations I've seen here in my local area. When the first lady passes, the church sees that not only as losing a pastor's wife, but a mom. Many of them, that's the only pastor and pastor's wife they and they're children have ever known.

They will have as much issue with the time period of mourning as a biological child would.

Also, whether it be right or wrong... depends on who the second wife is and how she carries herself.

I know of one local pastor, had married his wife for over 60 years, and was remarried within a year. The lady he married was a godly woman, carried herself very respectfully, was great friends with the deceased, and it went well.

Know of another pastor, his wife was very involved in the ministry, very respected and the congregation felt like they had lost a leader and a mom. He remarried in 18 months, but the woman he married was totally opposite of the pastor's first wife. This one wore tons of make-up, lots of jewelry, had a divorce prior to conversion, wasn't involved in ministry and didn't want to be... etc.

In the second case, the congregation felt betrayed by the pastor, and felt like the first wife was being disrespected.....

So there are so many factors that fall into the scenario that there is no broad brush conclusion of appropriateness.

Bro. Robbins · #47 06-21-2012, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella1

No one should grow old without having a partner to be with.

I can't get past this... why? Some folks aren't wired for companionship... some are wired to be loners.... and according to Paul, for the sake of the ministry if they can contain their lusts, it's better to be single. So since the thread was about widowed preachers... this line was somewhat too broad of a statement and generality imo. I think it would be more appropriate to say "Some people should never grow old without...."

acerrak · #48 06-21-2012, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

To hopefully get us back on topic....

This was specifically asking about ministers. I think we also have to take into consideration beyond the children.... the congregation as well. If a pastor has been there a long time, that pastor and pastor's wife could very well be considered spiritual parents to that church.

For example, take a pastor and his wife that have been there 30 years or more, which are situations I've seen here in my local area. When the first lady passes, the church sees that not only as losing a pastor's wife, but a mom. Many of them, that's the only pastor and pastor's wife they and they're children have ever known.

They will have as much issue with the time period of mourning as a biological child would.

Also, whether it be right or wrong... depends on who the second wife is and how she carries herself.

I know of one local pastor, had married his wife for over 60 years, and was remarried within a year. The lady he married was a godly woman, carried herself very respectfully, was great friends with the deceased, and it went well.

Know of another pastor, his wife was very involved in the ministry, very respected and the congregation felt like they had lost a leader and a mom. He remarried in 18 months, but the woman he married was totally opposite of the pastor's first wife. This one wore tons of make-up, lots of jewelry, had a divorce prior to conversion, wasn't involved in ministry and didn't want to be... etc.

In the second case, the congregation felt betrayed by the pastor, and felt like the first wife was being disrespected.....

So there are so many factors that fall into the scenario that there is no broad brush conclusion of appropriateness.

sad part is the congregation in the second situation is wrong. its not up to them to dictate the life of the minister, and the pastors wife doesnt have to be envolved in ministry like the first. Infact his faithfulness to his wife was Honored, until death to we part. He kept His Vow. those who stirred up such a fuss and declared it dishonored his wife, should be rebuked in my opinion.

Pressing-On · #49 06-21-2012, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

To hopefully get us back on topic....

You're not assimilating very well.

Bro. Robbins · #50 06-21-2012, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acerrak

sad part is the congregation in the second situation is wrong. its not up to them to dictate the life of the minister, and the pastors wife doesnt have to be envolved in ministry like the first. Infact his faithfulness to his wife was Honored, until death to we part. He kept His Vow. those who stirred up such a fuss and declared it dishonored his wife, should be rebuked in my opinion.

They are in error and wrong yes... but the pastor has a duty to take how it may affect his flock when making such decisions... according to Paul's writings regarding ministry. He spoke about if eating flesh offered to idols... spoke about being all things to all men.... spoke about not presenting an offense..... so there is a balance... and having seen the second situation transpire... he could have used much, much, much more wisdom in the situation. Many parties at the table, many responsibilities.

I also believe the second wife may not have to be just like the first, but a minister must marry someone who is called and has a burden for ministry. That's why Paul talked about the blessing of singleness for ministry. Because a pastor's wife that has no burden to be any more than a member will always be a force pulling the minister away from his calling... instead of joining him in it.